Friday, March 30, 2007

‪י״א ניסן תשס״ז * 30 March 2007: Doctor’s Day/National Hot Dog Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Jaguar "customized" With 14,000 Post-It Notes”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

‪ט׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 28 March 2007: Mom’s birthday/Something On A Stick Day

Greetings.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Relevant to one of today’s quasi-holidays: The “Stick” article on Wikipedia.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing, noted to me by Barry, is the “Bumblebee (Movie)” article at Teletraan-1. This article has been subjected to some creative vandalism, so please view it before anyone changes it back to something sensible. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

‪ח׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 27 March 2007: The Scream Day


Greetings.

Today is The Scream Day, a holiday invented by me yesterday, reflecting the stress involved with switching to a new computer. Said computer should be ordered today.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. It may not be strictly weird, but it does strike me as a nice story. Enjoy and share the (non-)weirdness.

Aaron



A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate at the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the! gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued on the way he had been going. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree, and reading a! book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend, here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl, took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man, who was standing by a tree, waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"!

"No, I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

Monday, March 26, 2007

‪ז׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 26 March 2007: Make-up your own holiday day

Greetings.

I hereby decree tomorrow The Scream Day. I still have not ordered a new computer yet. I am trying to decide whether to do the alternate, which would be to put a new hard drive in the old computer. On one hand, I do not have a job, so getting a new hard drive would be more prudent financially. On the other hand, getting a new computer is inevitable; thus getting a new hard drive now and a new computer later will increase the work I need to do and thus increase my stress. Getting a new computer now would therefore result in a lower amount of stress, which would be a good thing considering I already have enough stress as it is.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Posthumous Roses”, which is absolutely beautiful. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, March 23, 2007

‪ד׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 23 March 2007: Toast Day

Greetings.

Last night my computer’s internal hard drive started making weird squealing noises and very quickly died. Though my computer is working off my main backup drive and all my data seems to be OK (thank HashShem), to my horror I discovered that the system software and applications were not backed up properly, leading me to do some reinstallation and (currently on-going) a lot of downloading. Unless I can get the internal hard drive up and working again (unlikely, since software problems do not cause squealing hard drives), I will probably buy a new computer very soon. My computer woes may well result in missed issues of this blog.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Star Trek vs. Star Wars”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, March 22, 2007

‪ג׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 22 March 2007: World Water Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is “We Dare You to Play These Scores!”. Do note in advance that this music is probably impossible for mere mortals to play, and just looking at the scores may give you a headache. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

‪ב׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 21 March 2007: World Chess Boxing Organisation

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:I question the morality of any sport where the goal is to give one’s opponent a concussion, but some people have decided to give such a sport a new twist. Today’s weird thing is the World Chess Boxing Organisation, in which players alternate rounds of chess and boxing. Personally, I think this would be more interesting if they played chess while boxing. (Disturbing the board or hitting one’s opponent while making a move would probably be prohibited.) Enjoy, share the weirdness, and do not try this at home.

Aaron

Friday, March 16, 2007

כ״ו אדר תשס״ז * 16 March 2007: National Artichoke Hearts Day

Greetings.

I am back from my trip to Indianapolis, where I had a job interview. Please pray I get hired.

Robert “Bobby Awesome” Olsen has been grounded for some of the things he posted on my blog. He has also been sentenced to write “I will not make spurious claims” 100 times, “π is wonderful” 100 times, and “Good spelling is very important” 100 times.

Tomorrow is Saint Patrick’s Day, which Erin refers to as Erin Go Bragh Day. <TONGUE IN CHEEK>At this time of year, there is a huge jump in the rate of thefts of leprechauns’ gold. Keep in mind that it is illegal to take the gold of leprechauns found at the end of rainbows. In most of the United States, the penalty for doing so is to have to watch the Leprechaun series of films, widely reputed to be horrible.</TONGUE IN CHEEK>

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “The Library of Babel” by Jorge Luis Borges. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, March 15, 2007

random junk day

here s something worthless aaaaaron left for u it sez my star wars name s Bobaw I Ear, Emojalopy Of Tylenol

http://homepage.mac.com/bruno_andrighetto/JavaScript/StarWarsNameGen.html

something stoopid law crud

http://www.torinfo.com/justforlaughs/coyote_v_acme.html

this s weird for u

http://www.dnaco.net/~vogelke/pictures/when-cloning-goes-wrong/

aaaaaaaaaaaron come back doing this every day s 2 hard i got video games 2 play

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

lame butt number day

2 day s pie day some stupid BUTT day about a # this s a page about losers w/ nothing better 2 do LOSERS!!!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070312/ap_on_fe_st/the_church_of_pi

u might as well go 4 stupidness like this coz pie s STUPID!!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070314/ap_on_fe_st/driving_unicorn;_ylt=ApaD0lTDF1Fpg2qmJHI.h1wuQE4F

2 days weird thing s rap cat rap cat s totally stupid but better than any dumb pie stuff so like this n get a life

rap-cat.com

n aarroonn we now no s really n indiana 2 get a nutmeg bong u see hell b so high when he gets back

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

body parts day

this s his lame but idea of a weird thing n it SUXXXX!!!!

http://flyingsnake.org/

n now the truth aarroonn s trying 2 b a mack daddy pimp playa rabbi yeah he s n here s the proof this s what he wants 2 do he already has 1 "friend" n now he s trying to put together a harum or a babarium r something i have pictures n dirty emails!!!!!

http://www.pilegesh.blogspot.com/

n he snores n kicks puppys

Monday, March 12, 2007

‪כ״ב אדר תשס״ז * 12 March 2007: Middle Name Pride Day

Greetings.

My middle name is “Solomon”.

Note: Tuesday through Thursday I will be out of town and will probably not have Internet access. During this time Bobby Awesome will be publishing the Weird thing of the day. (He will publish even if I do not let him, so I might as well try to get him to do it right.) I have particularly impressed upon on him the need to properly celebrate Pi Day on Wednesday, including the fact that pi (π) is a mathematical constant and not a dessert.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is Zoltan!, a very silly program which lets you ask questions from one of those giant stone heads on Easter Island. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and blame Bobby for anything which goes wrong in the next three days.

Aaron

Friday, March 9, 2007

Monday, March 5, 2007

‪ט״ו אדר תשס״ז * 5 March 2007: פורי שושן

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “The Most Beautiful Periodic Table Poster in the World”. You may just want to skip all the verbiage and just look at an image of the poster itself. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, March 2, 2007

‪י״ב אדר תשס״ז * 2 March 2007: In memory of Templeton Trouble Tolman

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: “It's time to take on Fox”.

Note: Purim is Saturday night and Sunday! See The Orthodox Union’s Web-site for more information.

Today’s news and commentary:Barry wrote me this morning, saying:
I am sorry to report that our last rat, Templeton Trouble Tolman, was found dead this morning at the age of 3. Templeton was a very good rat and in honor of his memory I would like you to post something on your blog which tells about the great benefit rats have been to humans.
I sympathize deeply with Barry and his family on the loss of their rat. Unfortunately, in my magic weird thing of the day source folder I do not seem to have anything on rats, period. Today’s weird thing is therefore something I hope Templeton would have appreciated, cheddarvision.tv » Live Cheddar Cheese direct from the Westcountry ». Enjoy this weird thing, share the weirdness with the rats in your life, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, March 1, 2007

‪י״א אדר תשס״ז * 1 March 2007: תענית אסתר/National Pig Day/National Surf and Turf Day

Greetings.

Note: My MUSC E-mail account is no longer active. As a side benefit, there goes most of my spam with it.

Today’s news and commentary:Today is the Fast of ’Esther, commemorating the fast ’Esther made in preparation for political maneuvers on her part to save the Jewish people (see The Book of Esther). As such, there will be no weird thing today, but I will rant instead.

1) Very recently we have had on the air a TV show called Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?. The premise of the show is exactly what it sounds like, and adults actually lose on this show—college-educated adults, I may add. It ought to be shocking that society should ever be in such a condition that people are ignorant of basic information, but there were complaints about this sort of thing back when I was a child. One might suggest that the contestants are chosen to be especially ignorant, but if they are not, it would go a long way towards explaining how politicians manage to lie so effectively in this country. It also explains how some (ought to be) obvious doozies manage to exist for me to study in my Divine Misconceptions project. Maybe we ought to rethink whether ignorance is acceptable.

2) I was seriously annoyed by the article “Rabbis aim to renew animal sacrifices”. My irritation, contrary to what many might think, was not with the fact that people want to restart animal sacrifices on the Temple Mount. My irritation is with the notion that the age of animal sacrifices is over and that we have moved beyond them. Please see the entire Book of Leviticus (among many other places in the Hebrew Bible). YHWH has clearly commanded the bringing of animal sacrifices. To try to impute that there is something wrong with sacrifices is tantamount to claiming that YHWH was wrong; since in Judaism what is right and wrong ultimately depends on YHWH’s authority, so this is intrinsically impossible. One cannot claim that YHWH does not want us to do something He/She obviously told us to do. The only reasons for not bringing sacrifices today are technical, e.g., anyone trying to do so would be murdered by Muslims. Working outside of Judaism, no compelling moral argument can be made; since morality is intrinsically relative, all one has to do is reject the assumptions of the person making the argument. And what really is the problem with animal sacrifice anyway that many people today do not like it? Most of us are quite willing to kill animals for food or leather (or let someone else do it for us), even though meat and leather are not essential for life. Why do people think that it is OK to kill an animal for pleasure but that it is wrong to kill an animal as a form of worship? Yes, one can have a moral system in which this is correct, but I have a hard time trying to see it as consistent.

Have an easy fast.

Aaron

YER NEKST PUBLICK SERVISS ANOWNSMINT!!!

HAY DOODZ!!!!

IM BOBBIEZ BESST FREND RIKKY END HEE WANTIDD YOO TU SI THISS PUBLIK SURVESS ANOUNSMINT CAWZ ITTS RILLY EMPORTENT

http://www.hitjokes.com/pics/Satire/The_More_You_Know_4.jpg

KEEPP ONN TRUKKIN!!!!!!!!!

ANND BOBY WANTZ YU TUU NNO ARRIN BIGHTZ THHE HEDZ OFFF UV PUPPYZ