Wednesday, December 26, 2007

17 Ṭeveth 5768: Kwanzaa/Boxing Day/St. Stephen’s Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing, which Barry may be blamed for, is Bent Objects. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

16 Ṭeveth 5768: Christmas/National Pumpkin Pie Day/Grav-mass/Decemberween

Greetings.

Divine misconception of the day: “Bible put on a pinhead-size chip”. 300,000 letters is not the length of the Hebrew or Christian Bible. It is the length of the Torah. For example, Who Wrote the Bible? (Friedman 1987) deals with the authorship of just the Torah, not the entire Hebrew or Christian Bible. Michael Drosnin in The Bible Code (Drosnin 1997, p. 25) claims that the “Bible” is “304,805 letters long”—the length of the Torah alone. Likewise, Walking the Bible (Feiler 2002) only retraces the footsteps people took in the Torah. Why people keep making this mistake, I do not know.
Drosnin, Michael. 1997. The Bible Code. 1st Touchstone Edition ed. New York: Touchstone.

Feiler, Bruce S. 2002. Walking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through the Five Books of Moses. New York: Perrenial/HarperCollinsPublishers. Original edition, New York: William Morrow, 2001.

Friedman, Richard Elliott. 1987. Who Wrote the Bible? New York: Summit Books.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible:Today’s weird thing, which Barry is responsible for, is “THE ORIGINAL Scary 'Mary Poppins' Recut Trailer”.


Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, December 24, 2007

15 Ṭeveth 5768: Christmas Eve/National Eggnog Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:In lieu of the usual weird thing, today I would like to deal with the problem of political advertising over the phone. This is a problem we have been dealing with lately, due to the 2008 presidential election, and I expect it to only get worse as Election Day grows near. Rather than get mad, I have found a way to deal.

THE SCENARIO: A human calls you on the phone and says he/she is calling on behalf of a candidate for some office, for demonstration purposes here Jarvis Funnypants for mayor.

THE SOLUTION: Do not let the Funnypants promoter tell you anything about why you should vote for Funnypants. Instead, firmly but politely get a word in edgewise and say something like “I will be very happy to hear why Jarvis Funnypants would make a great mayor. However, as a matter of policy I require payment of a $10,000 fee in advance.  How will the Funnypants campaign be paying?”  The Funnypants promoter will probably think this is a joke, but stay strong, firm, and polite; under no circumstances are you to allow any Funnypants promotion to occur without payment in advance.  You may note that your time is valuable and cannot afford to listen every political advertisement unless compensation is given.  The promoter, seeing you are uncooperative, will most likely give up quickly.  If he/she does not, then apologize for not being able to listen to Funnypants promotion and hang up.

WHY WE SHOULD DO THIS:  Telephone advertising is annoying.  If we refuse to listen to it, politicians may actually get the message and stop calling us.  Not to mention, it makes the experience of dealing with political telephone advertising a lot more fun.

I strongly encourage everyone to spread this idea around.  Remember:  you have the power to fight political telephone advertising.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, December 23, 2007

14 Ṭeveth 5768: 4th Advent/Festivus

Greetings.

Relevant to today’s quasi-holiday for the rest of us: the “Festivus” article on Wikipedia.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “holiday festivities”. WARNING: You may well end up rolling on the floor laughing. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, December 21, 2007

12 Ṭeveth 5768: “Good excuse”

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is something silly from Emily’s collection. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron



Good excuse

A guy bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. As the needle jumped up to 80 MPH he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. Confident he could outrun the police car, he began to drive faster. The needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.

“What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before you can go.”

“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice night,” said the officer.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Worthy cause of the day: “Congress: Stop Media Consolidation”

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is the petition “Congress: Stop Media Consolidation”. Please sign immediately and tell your Congresspeople to listen to the voice of the people and not allow the FCC to permit consolidation of big media. Remember: you are entitled to demand that your Congresspeople do what you want; that’s their job. Thank you.

Aaron

Worthy cause of the day: Take Action: Stop Big Media

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is “Take Action: Stop Big Media”. Please sign and tell Congress not to let just a few people control the media. This is America, a land where we are supposed to have a variety of views. It ought to stay this way. Thank you.

Aaron

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

9 Ṭeveth 5768: Bake Cookies Day/International Migrants Day

Greetings.

Note: Tomorrow is a fast day, and as such there will be no weird thing then.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is ASCII Projektor, a Mac OS X program that lets you view movies and iSight input as ASCII characters. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, December 17, 2007

8 Ṭeveth 5768: “Homemade Flame Thrower”

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, much of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is “Homemade Flame Thrower”. WARNING: Do not build this thing unless you know what you are doing and are sufficiently mature and moral not to misuse it. If you blow yourself up or burn down the house, it’s your own fault for doing something stupid. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

3 Ṭeveth 5768: Ḥanukkah

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: Sciencedebate 2008. It is important for people who make decisions to understand the bases on which they make their decisions, especially when the decisions will affect human lives. Consider the damage done by George W. Bush, who displays no understanding of science, and his policies made on bases which have little or no resemblance to reality: ignoring global warming, poor energy policy, sex education which does not work, hampering of stem cell research, aiding and abetting terrorism, voting systems which are unfair and less secure than ever, hampering the FDA and EPA, crushing national debt, a war without a realistic endgame strategy, etc. We cannot afford to have another president who lives in a fantasy world. We need someone who pays attention to evidence and reason and tries to deal with reality as it is, not as he or she wants it to be. A debate between the candidates on science would give us some idea how much they are actually living in the real world, so please sign the petition. Thanks in advance.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Flying Humans, Hoping to Land With No Chute”, demonstrated in this video:



Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

2 Ṭeveth 5768: Ḥanukkah

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: “WakeUpWalMart.com - Join the fight to change Wal-Mart and change America”.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is “STAR WARS ASCIIMATION”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Sunday, December 9, 2007

29 Kislew 5768: Ḥanukkah/The International Day Against Corruption/2nd Advent

Greetings.

Divine misconception of the day: “Hindu gods get summons from court”. How exactly is anyone going to compel Ram and Hanuman to come to court?

Relevant to today’s genuine holiday: “Religion Today”. The menorah parade is an interesting approach.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is “Commodore 64 still loved after all these years”. Now, while many computer systems have stalwart fans, (so far as I know) only the Commodore 64 has own orchestra. If I may give a few examples:





Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Hanukkah.

Aaron

Friday, December 7, 2007

27 Kislew 5768: Ḥanukkah/International Civil Aviation Day/Pearl Harbour Remembrance Day

Happy Hanukkah.

Worthy cause of the day: “Tell Congress to Stop Big Media”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is John Cage’s 4′33″, arguably one of the strangest pieces of music ever written. Arguably what makes 4′33″ strange, that it consists of four minutes 33 seconds of silence, is appropriate for the anniversary of a tragedy. Enjoy (or be moved), share the weirdness, happy Hanukkah, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, December 6, 2007

26 Kislew 5768: Ḥanukkah/National Gazpacho Day

Greetings.

Worthy causes of the day: “Join Al Gore in Bali” and “Polar Bear SOS”.

Note: I have even less idea what gazpacho has to do with Hanukkah than ninjas do.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “the World-Famous Mini-Mizer, a Flash-based toy where you can Picture Yourself In Plastic!” Apparently this is what I would look like as a Lego person:


Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Hanukkah.

Aaron

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

25 Kislew 5768: Ḥanukkah/International Volunteer Day for Economic and Social Development/The Day of the Ninja

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: “The Senate must do its part”. Yes, expecting the US government to do anything of substance to stop the genocide in the Sudan may be a bit optimistic, but if we do not, as voters, insist they do something, the chances they will do nothing are greater.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Because today is (besides the first day of Hanukkah) the Day Of the Ninja, today’s weird thing is Ask A Ninja. I am not clear what connection there is between Hanukkah and the Day of the Ninja. Perhaps it is because Hanukkah celebrates the military victory of the Hashmona’im (Hasmoneans) over the Syrian-Greeks during the Second Temple Period. Like ninjas, Hashmona’im were warriors. However, unlike ninjas, the Hashmona’im were not assassins, but were fighting for the independence and religious freedom of Israel. Also, religio-ethnic pride requires me to say that in a fight between the Hashmona’im and ninjas, the Hashmona’im would win. (One of them killed an elephant. How many ninjas can claim that? The Hashmona’im could also take down pirates, too.) Still, enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

24 Kislew 5768: Wear Brown Shoes Day

Greetings.

Note: Hanukkah starts tonight!

Worthy cause of the day (submitted by Barry): “Stop a Bush War with Iran”. War with Iran may yet be necessary, but if so, I’d rather it be done by rational leaders who know what they are doing rather than Bush, who considers war something one does even without a good reason to do so. See “Report contradicts Bush on Iran nuclear program” for information—or rather confusion—on what is happening in Iran.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is the creation of a musical computer networking specialist, “The Day that Routers Died”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, December 2, 2007

22 Kislew 5768: International Day for the Abolition of Slavery/1st Advent

Greetings.

Note: Hanukkah starts Tuesday night!

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is something amusing from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



If I Died

A wife asks her husband,

—Honey, if I died, would you remarry?

—After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.

—If I died and you remarried, would she live in this house?

—We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would.

—If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, would she sleep in our bed?

—Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It’s going to last a long time, so I guess she would.

—If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?

—Oh, no,—the husband replies—She’s left-handed.