Weird thing of the day • דָּבָר מוּזָר שֶׁל הַיּוֹם

The latest notification from the Cybertonian Embassy

2011-12-25T11:34:00.001+02:00

Jewish date: 29 Kislew 5772 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Today’s event: National Pumpkin Pie Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is the latest notification from the Cybertonian Embassy, delivered by a robot who looks like he/she will not take “no” for an answer:

Hey, jelly blobs!

It’s bad enough that the Hasbro toy company makes a killing off making us “Decepticons” look bad with their (mostly) stupid little plastic pieces of junk they pass off as toys (ones of myself excepted). Humans are suckers for junk. But now the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights has put out a report on the kind of sweatshop they run to actually make these “toys.” You can find the whole thing here:

Holidays by Hasbro: Transformers from Hell

Not pretty: sweltering heat, child labor, vermin, body searches, fast-paced boring work for long hours, dangerous conditions. That’s typical Autobot treachery if I ever heard of it. Yeah, play all goody-goody and then pull this kind of sludge on the little squishies. This would be illegal on Cybertron. Someone should get their trunks vaporized.

Now it’s your turn to stop Hasbro from treating your fellow humans like automated floor scrubbers. First, open up the Hasbro e-mail contact page. You can find it here:

Hasbro Customer Service E-Mail Contact Page

Put in your e-mail address, and then select “Transformers” as the product and “Customer Satisfaction” as the category. Then cut and paste in this letter:

HEY STUPID FAT CAT TRUNKHEADS!!!

I READ THIS REPORT ABOUT WHAT YOU DO TO THE HUMANS WHO MAKE TRANSFORMERS TOYS (http://www.globallabourrights.org/reports?id=0642) AND YOU MAKE ME SICK! THEY’RE WILLING TO WORK HARD FOR YOU AND YOU UNGRATEFUL DINGDONGS CAN’T BOTHER TO TREAT THEM BETTER THAN YOUR ENEMIES’ PETS! I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO BUY ANY MORE TRANSFORMERS UNTIL YOU MEET THESE DEMANDS:

1) YOU START TREATING YOUR WORKERS LIKE YOU OUGHT TO! IF YOU WOULDN’T TREAT YOUR FAMILY LIKE THAT, DON’T TREAT YOUR WORKERS LIKE THAT!
2) APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE AND MAKE IT OFFICIAL POLICY THAT YOU TREAT YOUR WORKERS SO NICE THAT THEY NEVER WANT TO UNIONIZE!
3) MAKE IT UP TO THE WORKERS YOU’VE WRONGED BY SAYING YOU’RE SORRY AND GIVING THEM A FAT BONUS FOR THEIR TROUBLE!
4) ONCE YOU GET EVERYTHING ELSE FIXED, YOU WILL REISSUE THE TRANSFORMERS ALTERNATORS RAVAGE FIGURE BECAUSE THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME ACTION FIGURE EVER, AND YOU WILL ALSO ISSUE AN ACTION FIGURE OF MEGAN FOX AT THE SAME SCALE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE MIND-BLOWING IF YOU GOT THE TWO TOGETHER!!!

NOW DO IT OR I WILL BLOW MY MONEY INSTEAD ON VEGETABLES AND SOLAR PANELS!

YOUR (FORMER) CUSTOMER,

(yeah, your name goes here)

This past year it’s been like WHOA! Little humans going nuts all over the planet, standing up for themselves! I’d high-five you all if it wouldn’t break your hands! We’ve done this before on Cybertron, all got together, and we totally won. You can totally beat the humans who act like Autobots. All you got to do is keep at it. Pick someone doing wrong and make a fuss, going from one to the other, one to the other, one to the other... So let’s start making noise over toys!

Ravage
Communicator
Embassy to Earth
Republic of Cybertron

An invalidated piano warranty and Muppets with the lights out

2011-12-02T12:27:00.001+02:00

Jewish date: 6 Kislew 5772 (Parashath Wayyeṣe’).

Today’s events: Special Education Day, National Fritters Day.

Greetings.

I know I do not blog anywhere nearly enough, and so today I give you two worthy weird things.

The first is The Bowed Piano Ensemble, which specializes in playing a grand piano in ways which piano makers probably never intended and probably invalidate the warranty. They have a whole page of audio and video of their performances.

If that was not strange enough, the second is Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” covered by the Muppets.

I cannot possibly make something like this up, and I was surprised that the very serious Sam the Eagle had anything to do with this. (Maybe they were trying to outweird 2CELLOS.)

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath Shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Unusual violas

2011-11-22T15:29:00.001+02:00

Jewish date: 26 Marḥeswan 5772 (evening) (Parashath Toledhoth).

Today’s event: Start Your Own Country Day.

Greetings.

A musical instrument which gets frequent complaints that it is designed wrong is the viola. The sound is weaker than it should be, and it is big enough to cause injuries played on the shoulder. The obvious solution is the alto violin, which is essentially a large violin with viola tuning and played vertically like a cello. The alto violin is not today’s weird thing, since the only real problem with it is that viola players who wish to take up alto violin may need to learn cello fingering technique in order to play it well. Today’s weird things are the violas created by David L. Rivinus. While the alto violin looks a lot like a traditional violin, only bigger and with a lower rib height, Rivinus’s violas are utterly bizarre in appearance, something like what would happen if Salvador Dali had designed violas. The point of these strange designs is ergonomics, but the result has to be seen to be believed. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Side notes: Further information on the alto violin can be found at The New Violin Octet and one can be acquired from Singing Woods Violin. The really weird thing is that the least expensive Rivinus viola costs about 7½ times the cost of an alto violin.

’Aharon/Aaron

The Quick and Dirty B-Movie Plot Generator

2011-11-13T12:37:00.001+02:00

Jewish date: 16 Marḥeshwan 5772 (Parashath Ḥayye Sarah).

Today’s event: World Kindness Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is The Quick and Dirty B-Movie Plot Generator, which takes the trouble out inventing premises for B-movies. For example:

Dimitris Rich Barnickel is a ditzy Amish photographer from a doomed world. Elinore Gleda Schanck is a cosmopolitan psychic traffic cop on the wrong side of the law. And together, they must cross the country.

This should be useful for people with no creativity whatsoever. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Cheap arpeggiones

2011-11-01T15:16:00.003+02:00

Jewish date: 4 Marḥẹshwan 5772 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s events: National Author’s Day, Melbourne Cup Day, World Vegan Day.

Greetings.

Those of you who know me well are aware that I play the classical guitar. Some of you may even be aware that I have an interest in another instrument, the arpeggione, which is a lot like the guitar, except it can be played with a bow like a cello. The arpeggione was invented around 1823, had one famous piece of music written for it, the Arpeggione Sonata, and was promptly forgotten, leaving the Arpeggione Sonata to be played on violas and cellos. (I suspect the Arpeggione Sonata may have been a factor in the demise of the arpeggione, as it fails to take advantage of what the instrument is actually capable of doing. But I digress.) In recent years, there has been an increasing interest in arpeggiones, leading to the building and playing of the instrument. (See “Schubert's Arpeggione Sonata Revisited”, “Togaman GuitarViols”, “Arpeggione”, “BowedGuitar.com”, and “Arpeggione - World”.) However, arpeggiones still suffer from a major problem for anyone interested in them: they are extremely expensive, e.g., the only one that Togaman has for sale right now costs $7,777.00. For someone strapped for cash, this is out of the question. My brother Barry and I have talked a lot about how to get me a functional arpeggione, and the most likely approach is that eventually I will have someone who knows what he/she is doing modify an inexpensive viola da gamba or six-string electric cello. However, at least two other people have taken another approach: to modify a guitar. (Thank you, Barry, for noticing this.) As such, today’s weird things are “"Guitarre de Gambe" - Arturo Pedraza”, “Chitarra da Gamba - Basso Continuo - Arturo Pedraza”, and “Cheapo da Gamba”. The last of these shows how to modify a guitar into a cheap arpeggione.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

PS: No, I am not going to do this to my guitar. And I do not have the tools or facilities to do this to another guitar, so if someone has a naughty guitar they want experimented on, I cannot help you.

A robot’s confession

2011-10-16T14:56:00.000+02:00

Jewish date: 18 Tishri 5772 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s events: Dictionary Day, Newspaper Carrier Day, Reptile Awareness Day, World Food Day (UN), Bosses’ Day, Lost in Space Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing, which is included below, was recently discovered and is provided courtesy of Howell Industries. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

A robot’s confession

by Robert Robinson

If you are reading this, then the message I have inscribed on stone tablets and left on an uncharted desert island has been discovered. My name is Robert Robinson, formerly just “the Robot”, and I was part of the crew of the Jupiter 2. The Jupiter 2 departed Earth on October 16, 1997. I know enough about the history of this island to know that this message will not be discovered before then, but there is something which alarms me which I need to discuss. One of my jobs was to send out distress signals in the hope that these would be heard and we would be rescued. This is a dull task, so dull it could easily put a robot to sleep. And so to make it less boring and to make anyone who was listening sympathize with us more, I sent out log entries as well. Unfortunately, I let my creativity and imagination enter the process, and the result was biased.

Robot memory, like human memory, is reconstructive, not precise recordings of what actually happened. A relatively harmless side effect of this is that all my reconstructions look like they were science-fiction filmed during the 1960s; I am a fan of Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers, and I find it easy to borrow from such material when imagining events. Flight suits are not really made out of mylar, and aliens do not really look like humans in silly costumes.

Not so harmless is how I depicted some of the humans on the Jupiter 2. My presentations were highly biased to emphasize the humans I spent the most time with. Those I spent little time with are depicted as two-dimensional characters, because I did not have enough data to depict them properly. Their contributions to keeping us alive were unfairly downplayed or ignored.

Also not so harmless was that I treated what was happening to us like a serial adventure story. When the Robinsons, Major Don West, and Dr. Zachary Smith discovered what I had done, they were furious. To be fair, Will Robinson was a bit amused; I depicted him as a hero. And Don was impressed that I had depicted Dr. Smith so precisely and laughed out loud many times when viewing the recordings of my transmissions. But overall the humans were furious. Dr. Maureen Robinson was angry that I had “demoted” her to “a mere housewife and gardener” when she has a PhD in biochemistry. Dr. Judy Robinson was so angry I had depicted her as a “walking prop” that she would not speak to me for a month. Penny Robinson thought I had unfairly depicted her as naïve and helpless, noting, among other things, that whenever Dr. Smith tried using her as a human shield to protect himself from bug-eyed monsters, she would always flip him over her shoulder. (Incidentally, this often resulted in him landing on the monster and injuring or killing it.) Dr. Smith, of course, claimed I had totally mischaracterized him, but the consensus was that my depiction of him was dead-on, the only exception being that his bad back may have been due to Penny using him as a weapon against aliens and not an excuse to be lazy. Debbie jumped on me and tried to tear my head off. Professor John Robinson thought I had trivialized their experiences and made their situation seem more like an inconvenience than a real danger.

I felt awful over what I had done, and I promised to broadcast a retraction as soon as possible. Unfortunately, Dr. Smith had just cheated a wandering Omicronian merchant out of a flob mechanism, and two minutes after I made my promise, the merchant blew up our antenna and transmission circuitry in revenge. Unable to do anything at that point, I hoped that we would be rescued soon, at which point my blunder would be forgiven. Or failing that, that no one would see my transmissions. But the rescue never came, and now it has become clear to me that the situation with my transmissions is worse than I could have ever imagined. The only thing I can do now to even begin to atone for my careless slander is to address the issues which my crew-mates have brought to my attention and hope for the best.

Issue 1: I gave the impression that our experiences were “fun”. They were not. We were in constant danger, having adverse encounters about once every two weeks. Often we were at risk of death.

The only way we managed to avoid complete disaster was extreme: after three years, we locked up Dr. Smith in his room and refused to let him out for any reason whatsoever. If anyone thinks this was easy (or fun), they have never heard Dr. Smith screaming in the middle of the night that he is claustrophobic and will die if he stays in his room. Judy and Don’s daughter Alexis is normally a very quiet baby, but even the slightest hint of a panic attack from Dr. Smith is enough to set her crying, which does nothing to help the situation.

One should also remember that Dr. Smith is intelligent enough that he earned a PhD in psychology. Previously he manipulated others, especially Will, Penny, and myself, to get what he wanted. Of necessity, we became more wary of his schemes, but he never stopped trying. And even without the help of sentient beings, he has proven a menace. He has broken out on many occasions, often in the process turning off something that should not have been turned off or turning on something that should not have been turned on, and thus causing something to go horribly wrong. On one occasion when his breakout went unnoticed for an hour on the surface of the planet Epsilon, some sensors which Dr. Smith deactivated failed to sense an armed party of Epsilonians approaching. It was only the advance warning of Dr. Smith running back towards the ship, screaming at a high volume about the warriors with ray guns he had seen, that enabled us to launch before it was too late. Since then, we have had a policy that Dr. Smith is not to be left alone under any circumstances. No one enjoys babysitting Dr. Smith, and being outranked by humans, I have often been assigned the chore. Bleaugh. I much prefer changing baby diapers.

Issue 2: The transformations and other violations of our bodies and minds do not qualify as “fun” either. No one likes being changed into another species. No one likes being transformed into a piece of computer tape. No one likes being drained of emotions. No one likes being hypnotized. No one likes having their memory altered. No one likes being reduced to nine years old. No one likes being reprogrammed. No one likes being split in two. No one likes being cannibalized. And no one likes being partially mind-swapped with Dr. Smith. So none of us liked them either.

Many of the humans seem largely unaffected in this way, despite these traumatic experiences. Though I am not sure that Will’s hair is supposed to be that color.

Penny has had a large amount of useful information implanted in her memory by the use of drugs on the planet Delta, but it comes with the truly annoying habit of her needing to listen to music and dance on furniture in order to access much of it. (The fact that she does not dance well only makes it worse.)

My own physical form has been rebuilt several times, and while now looking very much like a human has its advantages, it still feels unnatural. Not to mention that the color is boring.

Much worse is what happened to Debbie. She originally was a bloop, a chimpanzee-like creature, who was adopted by Penny. (I would not mention this at all, but this is already noted in my transmissions.) It was inevitable that someone would be radically and permanently transformed beyond recognition, and as luck had it, it happened to her. She refuses to let me discuss what shape she currently wears, she hates it that much, but you will never realize that there is an ex-bloop in your midst.

Issue 3: When I made my transmissions, I thought that the humans on the Jupiter 2 were psychologically healthy (except for Dr. Smith) and depicted them as such. I was wrong. I knew little of everyday human life and less than I should have of human psychology.

It was obvious that Dr. Smith did not compute. Here was a man who had managed to earn a PhD in psychology and become a Space Corps colonel. And yet he quickly became a lazy, incompetent, cowardly, lying, cheating egotist. It is quite possible for an egotist to earn a PhD and become a Space Corps colonel. It is even possible for someone to lie and cheat to earn a PhD and become a Space Corps colonel. But how does someone lazy and incompetent manage to lie and cheat well enough to earn a PhD and become a Space Corps colonel? Something had to wrong with him. There will be more on the cause of this later.

The other humans have been struggling to deal with the situation. They have deliberately avoided taking out their frustrations on each other, with the occasional exception of yelling at Dr. Smith. On many planets we have visited, I have witnessed them sneaking off alone or in small groups and screaming at the top of their lungs or committing senseless acts of destruction in an effort to deal with their aggravation. At other times they have forced Dr. Smith to make alcohol for them, leading to drunkenness. Some of us have at times have tried to avoid contact with others without giving a reason. One of us has written some truly disturbing poetry. I dare not dwell on the details.

Issue 4: There was a reason for Dr. Smith’s seemingly illogical behavior, and it is a long story.

Dr. Smith broke out of his room again, because I had to rush off to deal with a Hoge manifold which decided it was a good time to explode. While creeping through a service tube, he broke an artificial gravity mechanism, which created a wormhole that the Jupiter 2 was sucked into. We were fortunate that Earth was on the other side of the wormhole, but unfortunate that the year was 1967, 30 years before we left. In order to avoid changing history, we activated a cloaking device Will had rigged together and landed on this island, a place we knew was to remain relatively secluded until 1978. The island, as everyone knows, had seven castaways as inhabitants, so we chose the most out-of-the-way spot on the island to park. The cloaking device worked so well that even when the two youngest castaways decided that right outside our spaceship was a good place for a picnic and kissing, they had no idea we were there.

The damage to the ship was severe. It was completely functional as a place to live, but it would be dangerous to take it back into space without at least a few months of repairs. Obtaining the raw materials needed to make replacement parts without being detected would be a challenge. We knew that a nearby island was inhabited by the rogue scientist Boris Balinkoff. When Balinkoff was (or rather will be) eventually arrested, in his confession he claimed that his hideout had been raided in 1967 “by thieves with a taste for hi-tech equipment”. Faced with the danger of altering the timeline if we remained too long in this era, we decided that we would be the hi-tech thieves. Will rigged up another cloaking device for the Chariot (which can function as a boat), and most of our party set sail (so to speak) for Balinkoff’s Island.

As usual, I got stuck watching Dr. Smith alone. They did not even leave the baby with me; the consensus was that she was safer wherever Dr. Smith was not. (I cannot blame them.) Dr. Smith insisted on playing chess. Usually he cheats, but this time he was too distracted. Dr. Smith claimed something was happening, that there was an unusual smell. Though I have no sense of smell, I assumed he was lying.

I was wrong. What I experienced has no human sensory equivalent, but suffice it to say that the ship had been teleported into a large room. Soldiers wearing face-concealing visors and uniforms that looked like something worn by Nazi stormtroopers stormed the ship—which was not hard, considering the amount of damage—and dragged out myself and Dr. Smith. I tried to stop them, but their ray guns shorted out my blasters. They dragged us through poorly-lit corridors that all looked alike and threw us in a windowless cell lit by a single incandescent bulb. And then they let us wait there for hours. It is very unpleasant to be trapped in a cell with Dr. Smith screaming that he will do anything if he is only let out. The guards outside paid him no attention.

Eventually the guards did open the cell door, but only to shove in the youngest male castaway, Willy Gilligan. He seemed very confused and said he had no idea who the soldiers were, why they had taken him prisoner, or where he was. This confused me, since I was not aware of any historical records of any of the castaways ever claiming to have been in such a situation. On the other hand, they have never said anything substantial about what happened during 12 of their 15 years of isolation. I declined to tell Gilligan the full truth of who Dr. Smith and I were, not wishing to needlessly risk contaminating the timeline, but I did tell him that we were castaways of a sort and glared at Dr. Smith to keep him from revealing much more than that.

Whether Dr. Smith got the hint or not, I do not know. He had shifted into a different mode, had stopped screaming, and was computing an escape. Phase 1 of his plan was completely cliché: he would to pretend to be sick, Gilligan would call for the guards, and I would hit the guards on the head with the chamberpot. I thought it was a stupid idea; there was no way the guards could be so incompetent as to fall for it. But being trapped in a cell with Dr. Smith is so horrible that I went along with it anyway—and it worked.

Even stranger was phase 2 of the plan. Dr. Smith had Gilligan pick up the guard’s ray gun—and he wanted him to use it. Let us remember this is Gilligan we are talking about, a man famous for being inept. This is the man which all the castaways were agreed was responsible for accidentally ruining almost every opportunity they had had for being rescued for 15 years. Even in 1997, people were still visiting The Castaways to see Gilligan trip over his own feet or otherwise screw up. His wife and children and the staff did their best to steer him away from such tourists, but he suffered enough minor calamities in public (such as slipping on a skateboard and falling in the lagoon) that the tourists came anyway. No one with any sense would ever consider handing this man any sort of weapon—but Dr. Smith did. I objected that this was suicidal, but he insisted he knew exactly what he was doing. And he did.

The next ten minutes were the strangest of my life. We encountered guards several times during our escape, and each time Dr. Smith, his face contorted with pain and extreme concentration, ordered Gilligan to make a specific shot that was in absolutely the wrong direction to have any effect on the enemy soldiers. Gilligan tried to make the shot, but he inevitably ended up pointing the ray gun in a different direction by the time he fired, one that either hit the soldiers directly or brought down something (such as a menacing statue) down upon them.

I was dazed and confused by the time we reached the Jupiter 2, being caught completely off-guard by this complete, masterful harnessing of incompetence. Despite Gilligan’s confusion over what he was seeing (“I’ll explain it later”, I told him, hoping I could figure out how to convince him this was a dream) we entered the ship, and I began the preparations for takeoff. This was not a proper spaceship hangar; evidently they had teleported the Jupiter 2 inside it, and I intended to use the meteor vaporization lasers to slice through the walls of the building to make our escape.

We were caught completely off-guard by the sound of several weapons being cocked. From various hidden spots on the Jupiter 2 came the six other castaways, all in uniform and with weapons aimed on us. And Gilligan stepped aside to join them.

The youngest female castaway, Mary Ann Summers, dressed as a general, thanked Gilligan for the greatest feat of acting he had ever accomplished and promised that he would be amply rewarded. Dr. Smith and I demanded to know what was happening, Dr. Smith rather more rudely than myself. Mary Ann decided to let someone else explain. That someone walked in, and he was the last person we expected to see on Earth in 1967: Zeno, the ruthless villain physically identical to Dr. Smith. Zeno took delight in explaining that at our last encounter he had neglected to mention that the reason that he was so similar to Dr. Smith was that he was the Dr. Smith of a parallel universe. He had discovered a wormhole on this island leading to our universe, and after visiting our universe and traveling through time, he had returned to his own. He had gained employment with the local totalitarian government—a government with opportunities for cooperative villains. They had previously sent operatives to our universe not merely to better understand how it differed, but also as a testbed for infiltration techniques. All seven of the castaways had at one time or another been successfully impersonated by their doubles. The arrival of the Jupiter 2 had been fortuitous, as it would now allow the people of this parallel world to gain yet another weapon against those of our own and make for easier conquest.

Both Dr. Smith and I objected that the Jupiter 2 was badly damaged and would be of no use in conquering a planet. Mary Ann thought this was funny and pointed her weapon at a seemingly unimportant wall, ordering seemingly no one to surrender himself.

A door in the wall opened, revealing a small room neither Dr. Smith nor I had ever been aware was there. Out came a little green man, extremely unhappy and holding his hands up. This creature, explained Zeno, was from the planet Qoppa and had unusual mind-control powers. Zeno had been plagued by the alternate universe double of this Qoppan, which had forced him to be a Dr. Smith-like incompetent, all the while secretly filming him as part of a mind-control experiment. Zeno had killed that Qoppan, but he was happy to help “General Summers” get her hands on another one to coerce into helping her conquer our Earth. Inspection of the Jupiter 2 had not revealed the Qoppan’s hiding place, but putting Dr. Smith in a situation where he was conflicted between continuing his normal behavior and asserting his genius had forced the Qoppan to resort to detectable levels of telepathy in an attempt to assert control. The Qoppan stated that force was not necessary, and that his people did a sizable amount of business aiding the conquest of entire planets at better rates and with higher customer satisfaction than the Digammans. General Summers was pleased to hear this and invited the Qoppan to come to her office and talk business over coconut milk and banana cream pie, to which the Qoppan readily agreed.

Dr. Smith, however, was incensed. He hurled insults at the Qoppan, claiming he had been abused and that the experiment was illegal under space law. The Qoppan, wanting to move on to negotiate a planetary conquest contract with General Summers, offered Dr. Smith an amount of platinum that would have made him richer than he had ever dreamed; though the Qoppans had experimented on him to study mind control, they had also rebroadcast my transmissions to several galaxies, including Earth and the entire Milky Way, and they had proved so popular that they had made an astronomical amount of money in advertising fees and recording sales. But this only made the offense of what the Qoppans had done so great in his eyes, as his reputation was now permanently damaged on the one planet he wished to live, that only blood would suffice. And so Dr. Smith pressed the big, red auto-destruct button on the control panel.

As the lights on the ship flashed and the ship’s computer announced that the Jupiter 2 would blow up in 30 seconds, panic and chaos ensued. Everyone, including myself, ran. The only exceptions were Dr. Smith and the Qoppan; the last I saw of them, Dr. Smith grabbed the Qoppan and held the screaming little green man against the panel that would be the first to explode. My cries for Dr. Smith to follow went unheeded. I headed in the direction of the strongest neutrino emissions and soon found what I was looking for: the mouth of the wormhole, which looked rather like a mirrored sphere reflecting a tropical scene from the other side. I dived into it, and I soon found myself touching down next to an almost finished dugout canoe with outriggers.

I had no time to admire the canoe. 1.32 seconds later, the explosion behind me, which sealed the wormhole, knocked me under a bush. As I lay there, checking my systems, I heard footsteps. I heard Skipper Jonas Grumby yelling that the impossible had happened: Mary Ann had taken Gilligan to the other side of the island to distract him, the Howells were keeping a lookout to make sure he stayed away, and still he had somehow managed to destroy the canoe. Professor Roy Hinkley and Ginger Grant pointed out to him that reducing the canoe to ash was unlikely even for Gilligan, plus there was no sign that Gilligan had been in the area. Conferring with the Howells confirmed that Gilligan was not responsible, though none of them had any idea what had really happened.

When the rest of the crew of the Jupiter 2 returned, they were (depending on the person) saddened or gladdened by the loss of Dr. Smith. Despite the trouble he had caused, Will and Penny did feel some affection for him.

Regardless of how we felt, we had the pressing problem of the loss of the Jupiter 2. Returning to space and traveling back to our own time (other than waiting around for decades) was out of the question. Remaining on the island was also out of the question. The conversations of the castaways whenever they passed by us indicated that Zeno had already altered the timeline. Mary Ann mentioned a fiancé back in Kansas, and the Howells hoped that their son, Thurston Howell IV, was taking good care of their fortune; neither the financé nor the son existed when the Jupiter 2 launched. We dare not do anything which might cause more serious damage, so we have resolved to leave the island and head for Hawaii, where we intend to live under assumed names at least until after the presumed loss of the Jupiter 2 in 1997.

If this record is found before our ultimate fates are made known, we would like to apologize to the castaways for not rescuing them. We can sympathize with their situation, but deliberately altering timelines often changes history in undesirable ways. Unless Zeno changed history much more than we think he did (and radio transmissions suggest the changes are minor), the castaways all survive for decades and stay healthy, despite the adversity they face. We do plan on visiting The Castaways periodically, just to make sure that history unfolds more or less correctly. I am curious to see George the Robot and the robot basketball team. Until then, good luck.

Four videos by 2CELLOS

2011-10-04T21:03:00.004+02:00

Jewish date: 7 Tishri 5772 (evening).

Today’s events: National Frappe Day, National Golf Day, World Animal Day, Ten-Four Day, Child Health Day (USA).

Greetings.

Today’s weird things, submitted by Barry, are a number of videos by the very goofy violoncello duo 2CELLOS. All of these are for songs which were absolutely never meant to be played on two cellos.

2CELLOS Cover Nirvana Classic "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Live On SiriusXM Pops:

2CELLOS - Welcome To The Jungle:

2CELLOS (Sulic & Hauser) - Smooth Criminal:

Jimi Hendrix Purple Haze 2 cellos:

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and do not try any of this at home.

’Aharon/Aaron

“There are a hundred ways to stalk”

2011-08-30T15:42:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 30 ’Av 5771 (Parashath Shofeṭim).

Today’s events: National Marshmallow Toasting Day/National Toasted Marshmallow Day, Frankenstein Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “There are a hundred ways to stalk”:

And if that does not tickle your funny bone, see the Ominous Visitor Shower Curtain, The Star Trek Cookbook, and the Knife Fridge Magnet. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of genetic engineering gone horribly wrong

2011-08-23T14:40:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 23 ’Av 5771 (Parashath Re’eh).

Today’s events: Ride the Wind Day, International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and Its Abolition.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is something truly disturbing: “Breakfast at Ginger's- golden retriever dog eats with hands”:

Notice the advanced level of breeding and genetic engineering that must have gone into creating this creature. Clearly this beast is meant as a prototype for an evil all-dog army meant to conquer the Earth. We must all stand opposed to this. Please take this opportunity to write to your local politicians to put a stop to this. Be worried and share the weirdness!

’Aharon/Aaron

“Chemistry Exam Answers”

2011-08-14T12:04:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 14 ’Av 5771 (Parashath ‘Eqev).

Today’s event: National Creamsicle Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Jewish Rights on the Temple Mount”. Please sign and tell the government of Israel that Jewish civil rights matter. Thank you.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “Chemistry Exam Answers”. The answers given may be legendary, but they are still fun reading. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

“The King’s Camelopardus”

2011-08-11T15:28:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 11 ’Av 5771 (Parashath Wa’Ethḥannan).

Today’s events: Presidential Joke Day, Son and Daughter Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “The King's Camelopardus”, a film more important in the history of film than Citizen Kane, It’s a Wonderful Life, or even Avatar. You’ll cry as you feel the pathos and the existential drama of life. Meg Ryan may win an Oscar for a performance unlike any other in her already outstanding career. You may feel the urge to see this film again and again, it is that good. You’ll be glued to your seat with anticipation. You won’t believe the surprise this movie has in store for you. If you want to make any film on the Internet go viral, it will be this one. You would never know this is Jonathan Tuttle’s first film. He takes a simple idea and masterfully uses it to keep the viewers’ attention and interest. This movie may change the way you look at movies. You want to stop reading this description and watch the film RIGHT NOW. Trust me.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the puddle

2011-07-28T16:38:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 26 Tammuz 5771 (Parashath Mas‘e).

Today’s events: National Milk Chocolate Day, National Drive-Thru Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “Puddle Sharks - Win!”.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and make sure you do not lose your toes.

’Aharon/Aaron

Edgar Allan Poe may not like this post

2011-07-26T18:40:00.003+03:00

Jewish date: 24 Tammuz 5771 (Parashath Mas‘e).

Today’s events: Aunt and Uncles Day, All or Nothing Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “teh raven iz”.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of curl-ups

2011-07-24T18:51:00.003+03:00

Jewish date: 22 Tammuz 5771 (Parashath Mas‘e).

Today’s events: Amelia Earhart Day, Cousin’s Day, National Parents Day, Pioneer Day (Utah, USA).

Greetings.

Image via Wikipedia

Fans of the celebrated author M. C. Escher will be familiar with the curl-up, a fictional creature which can curl up into a wheel and roll around. Today’s weird things, courtesy of Barry, are two realizations (of sorts) of the curl-up: “M.C.Escher’s Curl-Up Animal Constructed!” and “Escher Collection Curl Up (Completed) Item picture1”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and ask your friendly neighborhood genetic engineer to make a live curl-up.

’Aharon/Aaron

A message from the Cybertonian embassy-at-large

2011-07-05T10:55:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 3 Tammuz 5771 (Parashath Balaq).

Today’s event: Work-a-Holic Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is the most recent statement released by the Cybertonian embassy-at-large, included below. It was provided to me by an insistent mechanical bird. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

From: Megatron, Ambassador-at-large, Republic of Cybertron

To: The United Nations of Earth Re: Cessation of Major Ground Operations Dear idiots at the UN: We are done. Obviously not completely done, but we've finished the important stuff. Our two major ground operations are finished and over with, no thanks to any of you worthless losers. One, we have the Autobots. As you well know now from your stupid little chatter boxes, the 33rd Battalion of the Cybertonian Army under the command of General Cyclonus entered the territory of the United States of America for the sole purpose of capturing the Autobot population of the Groom Lake military base. Before landing, we sprayed the area with an anesthetic gas to knock out the humans, taking them out of the equation. Most of the Autobots instantly surrendered (like anyone would want to go up against our shock troops with plasma-bolt rifles) and the rest made trouble. The only Autobot fatality was Powerglide, who attempted to use deadly force and was shot down in midair. The rest we subdued alive, much better than they deserved. Optimus Prime was especially shameful, attempting to use humans as shields to try to get away. Those worthless traitors are all locked up now in the brig of the Cybertonian embassy-at-large and they're staying put. Did I really want to do that? Simple answer: NO! Everyone is sick of this nightmare. You don't want us on your planet, we don't want to be on your planet, but no one does the obvious so we can leave your planet. You have to make a giant fuss, and we get blamed for everything, and no one takes any responsibility for anything, you giant bunch of losers who can't even govern yourselves. It's amazing you haven't nuked each other. Why do you think President Shockwave authorized us to go ahead and end this nonsense? And that leads us to the other issue: Cobra, the bunch of dingleberries who attacked us. In case you haven't noticed, we have effectively destroyed Cobra, big nasty terrorist organization our to rule the planet. Nobody liked Cobra and no one was sorry to see it go. Cobra Island has been conquered and its religious sites razed, and anyone willing to continue the conflict is put in jail. We have raided Serpentorean strongholds in Somalia, Sudan, and elsewhere and enforced the same terms. Wherever we have gone, we have suppressed any version of this cult whose adherents won't live in peace with people they don't agree with. All we did was the only reasonable thing to do, not that it would ever occur to you pinheads. The threat of Cobra is gone, now and forever, no thanks to any of you. What I especially dislike is how you just dumped this problem on us. Who would want to get involved in your pointless little conflicts? They are always all really stupid and show how incompetent you are at governing yourselves, always letting the least fit be in charge. When Cobra attacked us, we begged you to do something about them. Did you? No. We deserved it, you told us, so stand there and take your lumps like a good little stooge. We did what any rational person would do, to fight back against our enemies, and in turn you condemned us, calling us tyrants and monsters. Really? If Mexico or Canada attacked the United States, would anyone wonder if the United States fought back? If China shot missiles at Russia, who would complain at Russia invading China to end the threat? But if Cobra attacks our embassy, why is it our fault, and why are we the ones who're wrong for ending the threat in the only way possible? We eliminated Cobra and it is no more. We attempted to arrest James "Destro" McMullen, XXIV to stand trial and were forced to kill him in self-defense. We arrested his wife, Anastasia "the Baroness" McMullen, a high official in Cobra, and, finding her psychotic, are currently holding her as we treat her. And, as has been recently noted in the media, we have recently found and captured the Cobra Commander in Sudan, where he has been hiding for two years. He is currently undergoing his pretrial screening and suitable legal representation is being sought before he is tried. In what way have we done anything wrong? I feel like we have been used, expected to eliminate the threat of Cobra while we are hindered and abused for our efforts. What for? Because you're too lazy? Or maybe the fight against Cobra kept bringing up too many uncomfortable issues. I really don't care about your issues, you bunch of useless crybabies. Just work on them! And now we come to the fun part. After conquering Cobra Island and putting a whole lot of humans in jail, we don't really trust you to take over. Face it: most of your jails are not therapeutic, which is like saying water isn't dry. You warehouse prisoners and let them act like the wild animals you are and, big surprise, they don't come out any better. What's the point of a penal system which makes people worse? Maybe if you bothered to stop throwing people in jail for "crimes" which are trivial or stupid and invest in actually fixing the problems that land people in jail then you wouldn't need to lock away so many people. No, that's too obvious for you. We are not turning over prisoners to a bunch of sadists out for revenge, and let's face it, your "justice" systems are mostly systems of organized revenge. Because you're too incompetent when it comes to criminals, we are forced to make Freedom Island (formerly Cobra Island) an extraplanetary territory of the Republic of Cybertron. This will let us rehabilitate the prisoners without having to take them off-planet (we have previously considered establishing a penal colony on Venus, which has a similar surface gravity to Earth, but there is no way we could seriously do that without terraforming the planet, and there's no way we're doing you that kind of favor). So, all the former Cobra terrorists will be fixed as best as we can manage, and the rest will be kept humanely. At the trial of Anastasia McMullen, it was determined that she was responsible but psychotic, and as she has not improved as much as we'd like, she will probably remain the rest of her life in custody for the safety of herself and others. The Cobra Commander will probably end up with the same verdict. Quite a few former Cobra terrorists have shown remarkable improvement and we hope to substantially reduce the population in captivity over the next few years. So much for warehousing. As for the Freedom Islanders living in peace, so far the civilian government seems to be working, and with a military base housing the 33rd Battalion of the Cybertonian Army there, I doubt we'll have any serious problems. The island also gives us somewhere to put Transformers who do not want to return to Cybertron proper, namely the Autobrat subfaction which schismed from the Autobots. Most of them seem enthusiastic about the idea. Based on her service to both the Republic and her comrades, President Shockwave has appointed the former Autobrat commander Arcee to the position of Ambassador to Earth. You can expect to see a lot of her and her staff (both Transformers and humans) around New York, and if they are not respected, they will have our troops to answer to. Do you like us there? Of course not. And here's what you have to do to make us vanish: Every remaining Cobra terrorist everywhere must vanish, either rehabilitated or dead. Attacking us forfeits their existence. There's still tiny pockets of Cobra out there, and until they're all gone, we're not leaving. Every stray Autobot is caught. There's still many not accounted for, and every single one has to be caught. They had no business coming to your planet and they won't be left behind. The government of Freedom Island has to stay stable and democratic. So far, so good. No one else stupidly attacks us like Cobra did. We've gotten a number of threats from governments, corporations, private organizations, and several religious sects. Face it, we wiped out Cobra. Don't make us wipe out the rest of you losers. I already have a long list of groups I'm itching to blow away. Frankly, much as the thought of us staying on this planet disgusts me with every circuit of my being, you need us. Face it: we are attacked and defend ourselves and we get yelled at for "illegally occupying" territory on Earth. How screwed-up can you be? Or take this new movie about us, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, coming out ironically just as the reign of the Autobots on Earth has come to an end. Director Michael Bay is as suckered by Autobot propaganda as he is juvenile. The movie continues his usual trademark assault on the senses, idiotic writing, graphic violence, ignorance of basic physics, and open prejudice. I have been shown a number of bad movies by such directors as Roger Corman and Ed Wood, and I have found them masterpieces in comparison. It's not bad enough to portray the "Decepticons" or Sentinel Prime (a patriot of Autobot ancestry who turned over evidence to the police of Ironhide's treason) as enemies; he has to take every opportunity to denigrate us. I don't know which is worse, that anyone spent any money to make this or that anyone will pay to see it. In any case, Megan Fox was sorely missed and Dr. Ken Jeong was totally wasted.

You people suck. So you're stuck with us. Someone has to be the good example because most of you are clueless and stupid and destroying your planet. Instead of complaining and condemning us, you ought to see what we're doing right. Maybe then you'll have a chance of fixing the problem. Screw you all. I hope you losers all die horrible, painful deaths, and you deserve it. Megatron, ambassador-at-large, Republic of Cybertron, etc., etc., etc. Edit that into something diplomatic before you send it off, Laserbeak. I don't need another embarrassment like the last thing that idiot Ravage wrote.

“Stop-Motion Auditorium Pac-Man”

2011-06-26T15:07:00.000+03:00

Jewish date: 24 Siwan 5771 (Parashath Ḥuqqath).

Today’s events: Forgiveness Day, Beautician's Day, International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking (UN), International Day in Support of Victims of Torture (UN)

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “Stop-Motion Auditorium Pac-Man”, the point of which I cannot identify. Enjoy (or be puzzled or something) and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

It is a good day to die

2011-06-17T15:20:00.003+03:00

Jewish date: 15 Siwan 5771 (Parashath Shelaḥ Lekha).

Today’s events: Eat Your Vegetables Day, Fresh Veggies Day, World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought (UN).

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “The Cling-on’s”:

Enjoy, share the weirdness, Shabbath shalom, and live long and prosper

’Aharon/Aaron

“Knitting and Crochet Patterns in Art”

2011-06-10T11:24:00.009+03:00

Jewish date: 8 Siwan 5771 (Parashath BeHa‘alothekha).

Today’s event: National Iced Tea Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing, courtesy of Barry, is “Knitting and Crochet Patterns in Art”. This article details all sorts of ridiculous things people have done lately with knitting and crocheting.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

“Turbo Encabulator”

2011-05-22T17:09:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 18 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath BeMidhbar).

Today’s events: Buy a Musical Instrument Day, International Day for Biological Diversity, Emancipation Day (Puerto Rico).

Today’s weird thing is “Turbo Encabulator”, which is an impressive-sounding piece of pure nonsense.
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of automated musical instruments

2011-05-20T12:10:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 16 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s events: Be a Millionaire Day, National Bike to Work Day, Pick Strawberries Day, Weights and Measures Day, Emancipation Day (Florida), Malcolm X Day.

Also: Tomorrow is Metric Mitochondria Day. Celebrate our obligate symbiotes and the International System of Units!

Today’s weird thing is “100 year old violin playing machine”, which is a just plain freaky-looking musical instrument. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom..

’Aharon/Aaron

Bad ponies, beware!

2011-05-17T10:13:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 13 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s events: Pack Rat Day, World Telecommunication Day (UN), Mary McLeod Bethune Week.

NOTE: On 7 May 2005 at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology there was a time traveler convention. Time travelers allegedly showed up. If you ever get a time machine, be then and there or be square!

Today’s weird things are two pictures I took on Sunday.

This seems to be what happens to bad ponies.

Even if the pony really deserved it, these colorful tribbles are nevertheless shocked.

(Yes, I know these are just toys at the local mall, but I felt the urge to perform some creative interpretation.)

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of LEGOs

2011-05-06T16:31:00.000+03:00

Image of LEGOs via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 2 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath ’Emor).

Today’s events: National Nurses Day, Space Day and International Space Day, Beverage Day, International Tuba Day, International No Diet Day, Military Spouses Day, National Tourist Appreciation Day.

Today’s weird thing is Smallworks Brickcase, a LEGO-compatible case for the iPhone. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of retrocomputing

2011-04-08T10:35:00.000+03:00

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 4 Nisan 5770 (Parashath Meṣora‘).

Today’s events: Draw a Picture of a Bird Day, All is Ours Day, International Feng Shui Awareness Day.

Today’s weird thing is the Commodore 64. You may well ask why an ancient computer merits being the weird thing of the day. And the answer is: it is not. According to “Commodore 64 Goes on Sale. Amiga, VIC-20 Coming Soon”, somebody actually has the audacity to resurrect ancient computers after a fashion. e.g., with 1-terabyte hard drives and 4 gigabytes of RAM, though with practically identical outsides, and sell them. Enjoy, share the weirdness and nostalgia, Shabbath shalom, and let me know when this character puts out a modernized NeXT Cube running Mac OS X 10.7.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of censors

2011-04-04T21:56:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 1 Nisan 5771 (evening) (Parashath Meṣora‘).

Today’s events: Hug a Newsman Day, School Librarian Day, Walk Around Things Day, Tell a Lie Day, National Repot your Plant Day, National Reading a Roadmap Day, International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action (UN).

Today’s weird thing is “Prime Time TV Censorship”:

The graph correctly notes the inconsistencies in TV censorship in the United States. I am not clear how harmful seeing any of the things in the graph on TV really are, but the fairly lenient treatment violence gets is pretty odd. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Coca-Cola for Godzilla

2011-03-25T12:40:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 19 ’Adhar Sheni 5771 (Parashath Shemini).

Today’s events: International Waffle Day, Pecan Day, International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade (UN), Independence Day (Greece, Cyprus).

I think I am going to be going through the collection of pictures I have taken here in Israel but have not shown to anyone.

These are photographs of the Coca-Cola plant in Bene Beraq. Notice that the architect got somewhat silly and made several buildings look like soda cans.

Caption: The last thing the White King expected was to be assaulted by black pawns on Lassale Street in Tel ’Aviv.

This actually is Lassale Street in Tel ’Aviv, but these are not chess pieces. Rather, they are part of a barrier system to keep vehicles and pedestrians separate. They have these all over Israel, but few look as much like chess pieces as these ones.

This last one is more puzzling that strictly weird. This is a mouse or other rodent which showed up right outside of synagogue recently. (And I apologize for the picture quality, but I do not take my high-quality camera everywhere with me, and I had the choice of using my cell phone under suboptimal conditions or not photographing the rodent at all.) What I do not understand is why the rodent let me photograph it rather than running for its life. (Humans are huge compared with most rodents and thus very dangerous to them.)

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Theodore Herzl, superhero of Israel

2011-03-11T12:40:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 5 ’Adhar Sheni 5771 (Parashath Wayyiqra’).

Today’s events: Worship of Tools Day, Johnny Appleseed Day, Nametag Day, World Plumbing Day. (I got a complaint last time I posted for labeling Black History Month a “quasi-holiday” because it is not religious. It is hard to claim that any of today’s quasi-holidays or whatever you want to call them are not events.)

I started work recently, and I am trying to fit things, including blogging, into my new schedule. One of the things that I do manage to do is photography, which works out nicely since there are a lot of unusual things here in Israel all over the place. (Actually you could probably say the same for most places, but I happen to be here to do the photography.) I found myself starting to post unusual pictures on Facebook recently, and since blog is “Weird thing of the day”, it occurs to me that this might be a better place to be posting such things. So on with today’s weird things:

Caption: Beware, evildoers! Theodore Herzl is watching from above, waiting for the right moment to strike!

Actually this picture was taken from a bus on Tuesday while passing through Herṣeliyyah. My caption is probably not what the people who created this water-tower art intended and should not be construed as historically accurate.

Caption: Little did I know when I moved to Giv‘ath Shemu’el that there are Smurfs living here.

Yeah, that’s not really not Smurf houses you’re looking at. Israeli architects have a lot of fun creating art for cities and towns, and the theme of Giv‘ath Shemu’el includes giant mushroom sculptures. I took this picture yesterday on the way back home from the post office. There are a bunch of other giant mushroom sculptures on Jabotinsky Street. (Somebody please remind me to try photoshopping them together into a whole Smurf village at some point.)

And finally, one that some might find somewhat uncomfortable. Those who feel squeamish should skip to the end.

These are two earthworms which infiltrated my apartment and were caught today. The lower one got caught under the door and was somewhat mangled. The upper one somehow made it all the way to under my coffee table, where it got covered in dust bunnies. This picture was taken after I apprehended the invaders and put them outside, where I hope they will live happy and healthy lives.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

“Möbius Story: Wind and Mr. Ug”

2011-02-24T09:14:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 20 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5771 (Parashath Wayyaqhel).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Black History Month, National Tortilla Chip Day

Please forgive me for taking forever to post again. I do not begin working until next Wednesday, and being unemployed while trying to adapt to a new country (including ’ulpan, which is Hebrew language classes) does not make for the most regular schedule. I expect to be very busy starting Wednesday, trying to adapt to the new job on top of twice-weekly ’ulpan, but at least I should have a better idea where I can fit things into my schedule.

Today’s weird thing is “Möbius Story: Wind and Mr. Ug”.

This is a mathematical story, but one designed to be accessible to everyone. Enjoy and share the weirdness, especially with anyone you know who loves beet peel.

Aaron

Ra‘ananah, Ra‘ananah, hey hey hey, goodbye

2011-02-06T20:03:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 3 ’Adhar Ri’shon (evening) (Parashath Teṣawweh).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Black History Month, Chinese New Year, Lame Duck Day, National Frozen Yogurt Day, International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation (UN).

This is my first post on this blog in about two months. During this time I have moved out of the absorption center in Ra‘ananah to an apartment in Giv‘ath Shemu’el. (Hence the silly title of this post.) This took a lot of time and effort, as I had to not only find the apartment, but also get everything properly set up. Also taking up time is that Tron Legacy came out, and besides seeing it twice in theaters, I spent a lot of time working on a review which is somewhat different from any I've done before.

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is the latest astrological “scandal”. The badly-named article “Sign of the times: Astrology story soars like a comet” details the shock and denial many people who believe in astrology have felt when an astronomer correctly noted that the signs of the zodiac are not where astrologers claim they are, nor have they been there for centuries. The astrologers have also been forgetting to mention that the zodiac passes through 13 constellations, not 12. (See a diagram of the when the Sun is really in the zodiac and when here.) What the article completely fails to note, to the point of being funny, is that astrology does not work at all; rather than try to make the argument myself, I point you to “Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions: Astrology” and let an astronomer do it for me.

As an added bonus, I also present “Horoscoped”, which analyzes the vague and useless verbiage of horoscope columns. Note the visualized version and the meta-prediction.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of the second coming of System 7

2010-12-09T12:26:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 2 Ṭeveth 5771 (Parashath Vayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holiday: International Anti-Corruption Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

Image of a Macintosh SE via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is this simulation of a Macintosh SE running System 7.0. I have no idea why anyone did this, but it may be fun for the nostalgic, especially since the simulation includes some games and a screen saver. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Can flash drives explode?

2010-12-03T10:57:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 26 Kislew 5771 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Today’s quasi-holiday: International Day of Persons with Disabilities (UN).

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is the USB Grenade Flash Drive. This is something you absolutely should not take through Israeli security. You should have no trouble taking it through American security, as the TSA is reportedly more interesting in finding out what you look like naked rather than if you are carrying anything dangerous. Enjoy, share the weirdness, happy Ḥanukkah, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

The mother (or monster) of all weird crossovers

2010-11-26T13:39:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 19 Kislew 5771 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Black Friday (USA), Buy Nothing Day.

Note: Currently I am working with an unreliable Internet connection, so I plan on keeping my posts short for the moment to increase the chances that they actually get through.

Today’s weird thing is something bizarre working its way virally across the Internet, what may be the mother (or monster) of all weird crossovers, “Cookie Monster Auditions for Saturday Night Live”:

Considering the normally low quality of Saturday Night Live, even if Cookie Monster is not at his best, it would obviously be their best show ever. Since Cookie Monster was clearly trying to limit himself to a short time in making this video, there is an obvious skit which was left out: a Saturday Night Live parody of Sesame Street, which might well involve humans dressing up as Muppet characters and discussion of some aspect of life on Sesame Street not normally discussed. The alternative might be a Muppet-only version of Saturday Night Live, which might well have Muppets pretending to be humans parodying something else.

Oh, if you are on Facebook, please join the (as of this typing) 87,941 other people who like it to encourage NBC to make a Cookie Monster-hosted episode of Saturday Night Live a reality.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

PS: This post was brought to you by the letters L, E, and the number 5.

Where do superheroes buy their magic spandex costumes?

2010-11-24T22:22:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 18 Kislew 5771 (evening) (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Opt-Out Day, Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day, Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day.

I am alive and well, currently in Ra‘ananah, Israel. I have been here for a week and am living under a name which transliterates as ’Aharon Shelomoh ’Edhelman. And I have been very busy and very tired. Making ‘aliyyah (moving to Israel) is a frightfully complicated processes. Much of what I have done is doing things which need to get done as soon as possible: getting an identity document, signing up with a health organization, getting a bank account, and telling the Ministry of Absorption so they deposit money in said account for the next few months. There has also been a lot of looking for and buying various things necessary that were not taken in my suitcases, such as hangers, food, and kitchen utensils. (Yet I still do not have a hotplate. Or a cell phone.) I have also started studying in ’ulpan (Hebrew classes); I tested as fairly advanced and have been bored by the grammar review and find exercises requiring impromptu acting much more interesting.

Image via Wikipedia

Given how tired I am, I will proceed straight to ~~today’s~~ tonight's weird thing, courtesy of Barry: The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company, which bills itself as “Online purveyors of high quality crimefighting merchandise”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and, please, someone send me something that lets me fly.

’Aharon/Aaron

Sherlock Holmes is crazy

2010-11-09T21:36:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 2 Kislew 5771 (Parashath Wayyeṣe’).

Today’s quasi-holidays: World Freedom Day, National Young Readers Day.

Yes, I am not posting much these days. My plans to move to Israel have advanced considerably. I will be making the move on November 15-16, and getting everything ready takes a lot of time and effort. Expect posts to be few and far between for a while.

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is Sherlock. This is a reimagining of Sherlock Holmes and company set in 2010. What is truly unusual about it is that while every other reimagining or other work which tries to change the setting of a story which your humble blogger is aware of misunderstands the characters or story and screws it up, this one makes extraordinary efforts to do it right—and it pays off. The new Sherlock really does act and think like the original, only doing it in a modern setting. E.g., he examines John Watson’s cell phone and deduces from it a lot about John. There are also attempts at exploring aspects of Sherlock and John which are often ignored. Sherlock, it is noted—in language more sophisticated than I am about to use—is crazy. John, who in this version served in the military in Afghanistan rather than India, suffers psychologically from his war experiences; this also feeds into why he teams up with Sherlock. I could go on, but there are other things I need to do. But before I post, due note that you can watch all three episodes (“A Study in Pink”, “The Blind Banker”, and “The Great Game”) on-line through December 7. I understand that further episodes are planned. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of car-eating rabbits

2010-10-31T18:08:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 23 Marḥeshwan 5771 (Parashath Toledhoth).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Halloween.

Worthy causes of the day: “Call on ABC News to drop Andrew Breitbart”, “Tell ABC News: Don't give Andrew Breitbart a platform to spread his lies.”, “Jewish Rights on the Temple Mount - Petition Spot”, “Unite Deserving Dads and Their Children! - The Petition Site”, “Stop Iceland's Cruel Whale Slaughter - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, “Stop the Yellowstone Bison Slaughter - Take Action Today @ The Animal Rescue Site”, and “Take Action: The Senate Must Act!”.

I would like to apologize for having not posted anything for about three weeks. This is has been due to two factors: 1) I have had a respiratory infection, which is not conducive to getting much of anything done. 2) I have been working on a review of Robert Graves’s The White Goddess, which is a decidedly nontrivial book. Having reached a stage where the review is more or less presentable, I present it without further adieu on Divine Misconceptions and resume posting here, too.

Today’s news and commentary:

“It’s alive! New computer learns language like a human, almost.”
“Is killing yourself adaptive? That depends: An evolutionary theory about suicide”
“Lay Rescuers: Try CPR without Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation”
“Love Lessens Pain”
“The True Size of Africa”
“No high-tech high five, this robot uses a beanbag for a hand”
“Shark Bytes: How and Where Sharks Attack”
“Vans drive themselves across the world - Rome to China without a prang”
“WHEN BAD TASTES GOOD: DISCOVERY OF TASTE RECEPTORS IN THE LUNGS COULD HELP PEOPLE WITH ASTHMA BREATHE EASIER”: I cannot make up something like this either.
“What does HIV sound like? [Audio]”
“Have a Heart: Donate Your Pacemaker”

Image which Zemanta thought was relevant via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Car-Eating Rabbits Invade Denver Airport”. I cannot make up something like this. Really. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of The Gong Show

2010-10-11T18:17:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 3 Marḥeshwan 5771 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Columbus Day (USA), Thanksgiving (Canada), Native American Day, Indigenous Peoples Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Alternative Biomedical Treatments for Autism: How Good Is the Evidence?”: Long story made short: pretty bad for the most part.

Today’s weird thing is the Country Western Song Generator, which spouts out lyrics like:

I met her on probation all hunched over;

I can still recall that little hat she wore;

She was chewin' on a hangnail in the twilight,
and I knew I'd have to scrape her off the floor;
Her rabbi said I'd hate her dog forever;
She said to me she loved my one blue eye;
But who'd have thought she'd run off on 'The Gong Show';
I now can kiss my credit cards goodbye.

This utility should be useful for song writers who completely lack creativity. Or perhaps for musicians looking to see if anyone is paying any attention to lyrics. Enjoy (or feel horribly depressed or something) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of the ground moving beneath your feet

2010-10-10T18:22:00.002+02:00

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 2 Marḥeshwan 5771 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Cake Decorating Day, World Mental Health Day (UN), National Angel Food Cake Day, 42 Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Tell the DOJ: Investigate the Chamber of Commerce's campaign spending”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is “650 Million Years in 1 Min. and 20 Sec.”, which animates continental drift. And the continents have moved around quite a bit.

650 Million Years in 1 Min. and 20 Sec.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of horrific iPad hacks

2010-10-05T18:56:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 27 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Long Walk Day, World Teachers’ Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Brooklyn Father, Son Launch 'Homemade Spacecraft'”: I cannot make something like this up. And what they did seems so ridiculously easy that I am amazed that more people are not doing something like this.
“Planet Hunters Discover a World That Could Harbor Life”
“Giant extinct penguin skipped tuxedo for more colorful feathers”
“Horizontal Gene Transfer: Bacteria Transmit Genetic Code without Sex”
“Can You Hear Me Now? The Truth about Cell Phones and Cancer”: No, cell phones do not cause cancer. And they cannot.

Today’s weird thing is “iPad runs Windows 95, universe stays intact”, a bizarre hacking stunt. Included is this horrifying video:

Enjoy (or be afraid) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Asteroid spaceships

2010-10-04T17:44:00.002+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 26 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Ten-Four Day, National Golf Day, World Animal Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Stop 'Corn Sugar' Now!”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Wasted Food Equals Wasted Energy”
“Empathy’s failures”: This is a scary look into the human conscience.
“Reflective "death ray" torments Vegas sunbathers”: Thank Barry for pointing this one out.
“Ten Worst Passwords on the Web”: If you use a password like any of these, please consider changing it. All of these are pretty lame.
“Every single Republican Senate hopeful is against climate change action”: I am trying to stay out of American politics right now, preparing as I am to move to Israel, but this just scares me.
“No U.N. 'Alien Ambassador' as the Bets Roll In”
“The Pink Panther of Swindon: White cat is abandoned after guerilla grooming session leaving her so bright she 'glows in the dark'”: Think Eureka the Pink Kitten from L. Frank Baum’s Oz books.
“FBI drive for encryption backdoors is déjà vu for security experts”
“This is a news website article about a scientific finding”
“A Look At The Technologies and Industries Senators Leahy and Hatch Would Have Banned In The Past”
“Insect Dinners - Waiter, There’s Soup in My Bug”
“Dying to Eat: A Graphical View of U.S. Obesity”
“WTF, kids swearing earlier now, researcher says”

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Hello, want to kill some time?”, which lets you install a JavaScript bookmarket in your browser which lets you shoot items in the current Web-page with an Asteroids-style spaceship.. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and please don’t shoot my blog.

Aaron

Beware of bread

2010-09-27T20:26:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 19 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Ancestor Appreciation Day, Banned Book Week, World Tourism Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Stand Up for Veterans - They Stood Up for Us - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Dying to Eat: A Graphical View of U.S. Obesity”
“Insect Dinners - Waiter, There’s Soup in My Bug”: I cannot make something like this up.

Image featuring the insidious substance via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Bread Kills!”, which is a very silly illustration of bad epidemiological reasoning, specifically that fallacies of equating correlation with causation and the assumption that preceding alone is a proof of causation. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Starfleet kitchen utensils

2010-09-26T20:42:00.000+02:00

Image marginally relevant to today’s weird thing via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 18 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Banned Book Week, European Day of Languages, National Pancake Day, Gold Star Mother’s Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“An alien's eye view of the solar system (w/ video)”
“Lost language unearthed in a letter”
“Million Dollar Comma”
“We Only Trust Experts If They Agree with Us”: This is a sad commentary on what people believe.
“Salmonella Take Advantage of Our Battle Plan”

Today’s weird thing is the Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter, which is described in this short video:

(There is also a Star Trek Enterprise Bottle Opener, but the pizza cutter is cooler and more useful in a fight against Klingons.) Enjoy, share the weirdness, and live long and prosper.

Aaron

Beware of ballistic marshmallows

2010-09-21T15:32:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 13 Tishri 5771.

Today’s quasi-holidays: World Gratitude Day, International Banana Festival, Elephant Appreciation Day, Miniature Golf Day, International Day of Peace, Independence Day (Armenia).

Today’s news and commentary:

“Intel wants to charge $50 to unlock stuff your CPU can already do”: You do realize, I hope, that this is an invitation for hackers to write their own unlocking code to avoid paying the $50.
“The Quadrotor Drone Learns Several Terrifying New Tricks”

Today’s weird thing is the Marshmallow Mforcer Semi-Automatic Pistol, a weapon which fires marshmallows. This should be useful when fighting foes made out of tissue paper.

Image of hint via Wikipedia

Special bonus weird thing: Stay Puft Caffeinated Gourmet Marshmallows. Apparently life sometimes imitates corny movies. (Hint: Ghostbusters reference.)

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and DUCK!

Aaron

Beware of period picnic tables

2010-09-19T17:31:00.000+02:00

Image of the cracked media via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 11 Tishri 5771.

Today’s quasi-holiday: International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Don't Build the Belo Monte Dam! - The Petition Site” and “Protect the Paradise Forests and the Orangutan - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Relevant to today’s quasi-holiday: “Pirates Need Science, Too”
“Password advice from the father of the firewall”
“HDCP Master Key Confirmed; Blu-ray Content Vulnerable”: It was only a matter of time. Any content that can be read can be cracked.

Today’s weird thing is “Periodic table”, which describes a picnic table in the shape of a period table. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of the Flying Alarm Clock

2010-09-17T17:50:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 9 Tishri 5771.

Today’s quasi-holidays: Constitution Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Pi record smashed as team finds two-quadrillionth digit”: Intuition suggests finding later and later digits in π is something in the way of a mathematical game which, since π is an irrational number, will never end.

Image of the wrong sort of alarm clock, which is likely to be sent flying through the air, via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is the Flying Alarm Clock, which is a novel approach to getting its owner up by forcing the person being woken up to do a nontrivial task in order make it stop making a racket. See this somewhat lame video which demonstrates it:

Enjoy (or loathe this thing; your choice) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Firefox

2010-09-16T16:22:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 8 Tishri 5771.

Today’s quasi-holidays: Collect Rocks Day, National Play-doh Day, Wife Appreciation Day, International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer, Mayflower Day, Women’s Friendship Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Got Science?”.

Today’s weird thing is “Firefox rejects your”:

I hope your browser does not act like this in real life. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Sam-I-Am

2010-09-15T18:05:00.000+02:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 7 Tishri 5771.

Today’s quasi-holidays: Felt Hat Day, Independence Day (Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua).

Worthy causes of the day: “DemocracyForAmerica.com » Stand with Patrick Leahy”, “Save Darfur Coalition: Give just 60 seconds for Sudan”, and “Tell Congress: Don't extend the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Ancient brewers tapped antibiotic secrets”: I do not make stuff like this up. Nor could I.
“New Poll Gauges Americans' General Knowledge Levels”: We need to work on this.
“Online appeal sets classical music free”: Interesting idea.
“Crested dinosaur pushes back dawn of feathers”

Cover via Amazon

Today’s weird thing, inspired from discussing the ownership of a number of Dr. Seuss books yesterday, is “Green Eggs and Ham Sam i am Jesse Jackson”. (I apologize for not including the video directly on this blog, but embedding was disabled.) As a special bonus, there is also a recipe for Green Eggs and Ham Recipe, in which the green color is due to scallions and spinach. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of asteroids

2010-09-08T20:41:00.000+03:00

Image of something sort of jetpack-like via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 29 ’Elul 5770 (Parashath Ha’azinu).

Today’s quasi-holidays: International Literacy Day, World Rabies Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Protect us from toxic coal ash”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Jetpacks For Sale - Buy a Jet Pack”: Took them long enough.

Today’s weird thing is “Asteroid Discovery From 1980 − 2010”:

This should give some idea how much in the way of rocks there are flying around the inner Solar system. If you feel worried about the prospects of collision, do note that the size of objects are not shown to scale. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of secret agents¡

2010-09-07T20:30:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 28 ’Elul 5770 (Parashath Ha’azinu).

Today’s quasi-holidays: “Neither Snow Nor Rain” Day, National Thylacine Day, International Dadaism Month.

Today’s weird thing is “Eagle”:

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and please, don’t do this.

Aaron

May the Force be with Chew

2010-09-05T18:42:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 26 ’Elul 5770 (Parashath Ha’azinu).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Be Late For Something Day.

Today’s (two-week backlog of) news and commentary:

“Yellowstone Hot Spot Shreds Ancient Pacific Ocean”
“Take a deep breath - why the world is running out of helium”
“Dilbert Creator Scott Adams Tries to Build an Eco-Friendly House (or: How I (Almost) Saved the Earth)”
“Got E. coli ? Raw Milk's Appeal Grows Despite Health Risks”
“A pox on your bank account: failure to vaccinate and its legal consequences”
“Heaps of Fossils From Evolutionary ‘Big Bang’ Discovered”
“Large, double-clawed raptor stalked Europe's Cretaceous creatures”
“10 Ways Your Taxes Pay For Environmental Devastation”
“The power of anecdotes”
“How the Washington Shakespeare Company came to offer Shakespeare in Klingon”: And you will see Klingon Shakespeare, or you will die with no honor!
“Water Before Meal Means Fewer Calories Consumed”
“Deadly Whooping Cough, Once Wiped Out, Is Back”
“Alien Solar System Looks Strikingly Like Ours”
“Black Fawn”
“Tropical Glaciers in Indonesia May Disappear by the End of the Decade”
“Survey Probes Americans' Incorrect Opinions on Energy Efficiency”
“Patenting The Geophysical Center Of Europe?”
“Video quality less important when you’re enjoying what you’re watching”
“Drug-resistant staph infections on the decline in U.S. hospitals”

Image via Wikipedia of the original stuffed animals which inspired one of the things which inspired Wookiee the Chew

Today’s weird thing (if Klingon Shakespeare was not enough for you) is “Chewbacca Illustrated as Winnie-the-Pooh”, describing the book Wookiee The Chew - The House at Chew Corner, with further illustrations at James Hance - Relentlessly Cheerful Art. No description your humble blogger can give will truly do justice to this, so just click on the links and see this for yourself. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and may the Force be with you. Oh, and someone send me a copy of the book, please.

Aaron

Beware of alien cat

2010-09-03T19:12:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 24 ’Elul 5770 (Parashath Niṣṣavim-Wayyelekh).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Skyscraper Day.

Today’s weird thing (after a break due to me visiting Israel) is “alien cat”:

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of bizarre coffins

2010-08-16T17:59:00.000+03:00

Image suggested by Zemanta for no apparent reason via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 6 ’Elul 5770 (Parashath Ki-Theṣe’).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Watermelon Day, Bratwurst Festival, International Dadaism Month.

Worthy causes of the day: “Take Action: Tell President Obama: Make Our Food Safe NOW!”, “GOP: Stop Punishing the Unemployed - The Petition Site”, and “Save the Internet: Take Action!: Dear Chairman Genachowski: Don't Let Google Be Evil”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is “Screw It, You're Dead Anyway”, which deals with unusual ideas for how to dispose of dead bodies. The title refers specifically to a space-saving coffin which is screwed into the ground. Enjoy (or be shocked or something) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of overstuffed sentences

2010-08-12T18:43:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 2 ’Elul 5770 (Parashath Shofeṭim).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Vinyl Record Day, International Youth Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “ColorOfChange.org: FCC: Say NO to Google and Verizon / Demand the FCC do its job and protect the open Internet”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“How Star Trek artists imagined the iPad... 23 years ago”
“Congress About To Pass 'The ______Act of____' (These Are The People We Elect?)”: I really hope this is a hoax.
“God's Number is 20”: (Submitted by Barry.) Someone has proved that it takes no more than 20 turns to solve Rubik’s Cube.
“Vending Machines Of The Future” and “Smart vending machines in Tokyo train station recognize age, sex”
“Ancient Cut Marks Reveal Far Earlier Origin of Butchery”
“Touchscreens open to smudge attacks”: I cannot make this sort of thing up, though there is some sense to the idea.
“A Man, A Plan And A Sharpie: 'The Great Typo Hunt'”

Today’s weird thing, suggested by Barry, is “Do You Suffer From One of These Writing Viruses?”, which should give people an idea of ways not to write. And if you do not like it, see “Jaws Theme Goes Here” and check under “How sharks DON’T attack”.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

All tautologies are tautologies

2010-08-10T17:34:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 30 ’Av 5770 (Parashath Shofeṭim).

Today’s quasi-holiday: National Duran Duran Appreciation Day. (Don’t ask me. I don’t come up with (most of) these quasi-holidays. I just report them.)

Worthy causes of the day: “Tell the Obama administration we need more protection from for-profit education rip-offs!”, “Tell the FCC: It's up to you, not Google and Verizon, to regulate the Internet”, and “MoveOn.org Political Action: Stop Social Security Cuts”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Where Did the Carter White House's Solar Panels Go?”: Thank you, Ronald Reagan, for your retrograde energy policy.
“Inside Google Books: Books of the world, stand up and be counted! All 129,864,880 of you.”
“Genetically Modified Crop on the Loose and Evolving in U.S. Midwest”: This is not as scary as it might sound.
“Tiny fish evolved to tolerate colder temperature in three years, study finds”
“Stephen Hawking's Warning: Abandon Earth—Or Face Extinction”
“Huge ice island calves off Greenland glacier”

Today’s weird thing is “tautology cat iz tautological”:

Not quite tautological, but close to it. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Ahmadinejad proves he needs to take a remedial geography class

2010-08-08T18:39:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 28 ’Av 5770 (Parashath Shofeṭim).

Worthy causes of the day: “Ban New Offshore Drilling - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, “ColorOfChange.org: Tell Google: "Don't be evil" / And to stop dealing away the Internet”, “MoveOn.org Political Action: Google: Don't Be Evil”, and “Alliance for Justice: Congress: Repair the Damage Caused by the Corporate Court”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Crocodile relative might have chewed like a mammal”: Who knew?
“Gaming the System: Video Gamers Help Researchers Untangle Protein Folding Problem”: I cannot make up something like this.
Ozma of Oz by L. Frank Baum: Not news or commentary. Project Gutenberg put out a new edition with all the original pictures.

Today’s weird thing is “'England Is A Small Island West Of Africa,' Says Ahmadinejad”, courtesy of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran’s most infamous lunatic, who is apparently too busy being insane to check a map. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

“Modded Nintendo Lets You Play Mario With Your Eyes (video)”

2010-08-05T18:15:00.001+03:00

Image the relevant game via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 25 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Re’eh).

Today’s quasi-holiday: National Mustard Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Tell Sarah Palin to Go Back to Alaska - The Petition Site”.

Today’s weird thing, the title of which pretty much speaks for itself, is “Modded Nintendo Lets You Play Mario With Your Eyes (video)”. Behold the referenced video:

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of ninjas fighting in public

2010-08-04T17:40:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 24 ’Av 5770 (Parashath Re’eh).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Coast Guard Day, Emancipation Day/August Festival (British Virgin Islands).

Worthy cause of the day: “Tell Mott's: get the scabs out of your applesauce!”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Four Deformations of the Apocalypse”: I knew Republicans were bad for the economy. Here is why. In the meantime, I am working to get out of the country.
“Industry-sponsored drug trials more likely to report positive results”: This is completely unsurprising to me.
“Prankster jailbreaks Apple Store display iPhone”: If one is going to do something wrong, one might as well do something daring.

There may be a ninja in this image from Wikipedia, but you would never know it

Today’s weird thing is “34 Things I Learned From Video Games”. This list gives valuable information for anyone trying to survive on the mean streets such as:

“You never run out of ammunition, just grenades.”
“Ninjas are common, and fight in public frequently.”
“Repulsive, ugly, cannabalistic, evil beings have just as much right to be loved as heroic fighters.”

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and beware of ninjas.

Aaron

Beware of puzzle-shaped food

2010-08-03T17:28:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 23 ’Av 5770 (Parashath Re’eh).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Emancipation Day/August Festival (British Virgin Islands), National Watermelon Day, National Night Out.

Worthy cause of the day: “Save BioGems: Take Action: Stop Shell Oil: Send a message urging President Obama to impose a 7-year moratorium on Shell's offshore drilling in the Arctic that will give scientists enough time to best determine how to protect the polar bear's home.”

Today’s news and commentary:

“Extreme Function: Why Our Brains Respond So Intensely to Exaggerated Characteristics”
“Fact or Fiction: Can a Squid Fly Out of the Water?”: I had no idea that there was such a thing as flying squid.
“A Quarter Century after Chernobyl: Radioactive Boar on the Rise in Germany”

Image of the inedible variety via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is the Rubik’s Cubewich, a meat and cheese sandwich in the shape of a Rubik’s Cube. I do not know what possessed anyone to create this, though I myself did once dream of a Rubik’s Cube-shaped kugel. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of drugs that give you visions of ancient video games

2010-08-02T17:48:00.000+03:00

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 22 ’Av 5770 (Parashath Re’eh).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Emancipation Day/August Festival (British Virgin Islands), Emancipation Day/August Monday (Anguilla, the Bahamas), International Dadaism Month, Anniversary of Official Signing of the Declaration of Independence (USA).

Worthy causes of the day: “Ask Your Reps to Support the National Alzheimer's Project Act - The Petition Site”, “Support Clean Energy Jobs - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, and “Tell the FDA to Come Clean About Gulf Seafood - The Petition Site”. Also along the lines of something worthy to do: Save the oak trees.

Today’s news and commentary:

“A Solar Salamander”
“Exclusive: I Used BlindType, Virtual Keyboard of the Future”
“Genes from Ebola Virus Family Found in Human Genome”: I really could not make something like this up.
“$20 Wikipedia Reader Uses 8-Bit Computing Power”
“NASA identifies Top Ten space junk missions”
“Car Thieves Picky About Color”: Also titled “Love Pink? Car Thieves Don’t”.
“They Are Making Battleship Into a Movie. No Seriously, They Are Making Battleship Into a Movie.”: Submitted by Barry.

Today’s weird thing is “8-Bit Trip: 1500 Hours of Lego Stop-Motion in Four Awesome Minutes”.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of alternate histories of Fox News

2010-07-28T17:43:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 17 ’Av 5770 (Parashath ‘Eqev).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Singing Telegram Day, National Drive-Thru Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “CARE : Defending Dignity - Fighting Poverty : Let Congress know you want the Haiti assistance bill passed”, “Working Families » Take Action!: Sign our letter to NY's State Senators”, and “We want the DISCLOSE Act”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Spread of Deadly Cryptococcal Disease in U.S. Northwest Linked to Global Warming”
“Asteroid Could Threaten the Earth in 2182”
“Plastiki finishes Pacific voyage”
“Trekkers offered cave tours in Klingon”: Worf will be pleased. No word on whether gagh will be served.

Logo of the guys being made fun of via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Nancy and Barry, is “If Fox News had existed throughout history…”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

A trademarked sarcasm symbol: what a great idea¡

2010-07-27T17:40:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 16 ’Av 5770 (Parashath ‘Eqev).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Save BioGems: Take Action: Protect the Redrock Wilderness” and “Shine Sunlight on Election Spending”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Urban Air Pollutants Can Damage IQs Before Baby's First Breath”
“The assault on large families”
“Our Neandertal Brethren”: Long story made short: modern humans have some Neanderthal ancestors. All those of you who make jokes about “cave men” might want to rethink whether this is a good idea.
“Should you worry about the tags on Wal-Mart underwear?”
“Saturn's Moon Spawning Moonlets”
“Californians give a whoop – or I hope they do.”: If you ever wondered why it is necessary to vaccinate your children…

Public domain image of the dreaded SarcMark via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is a controversy brewing in the field of punctuation. There is a company pushing a trademarked punctuation mark, the SarcMark, as a marker of sarcasm. While a sarcasm mark is a great idea, seeing that printed text does not capture all the tones present in the spoken word, including sarcasm, the idea of a punctuation mark one has to pay to use has raised a few hackles, not to mention some sarcasm. Thus a site has been created in protest of the SarcMark, Open Sarcasm Manifesto. Open Sarcasm Manifesto promotes the use of the Ethiopic sarcasm mark, also known as Temherte Slaqî, which looks like this: ¡ The Ethiopic sarcasm mark has the great advantage that it is looks identical to a standard Unicode character (U+00A1 INVERTED EXCLAMATION MARK) and thus can be used freely on almost any computer with no additional software whatsoever; you just type option-1 on your Macintosh. So for the Open Sarcasm people, I applaud their idea of all of us taking after the Ethiopians and making use of the inverted exclamation mark for sarcasm. As for the SarcMark people, I really feel the urge to shell out money just so I can make sarcastic comments on the Internet¡ Great job, and let me know when you want to charge me for a “raise eyebrow” character, too¡ As for the rest of you, enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of really big fishes

2010-07-25T18:07:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 14 ’Av 5770 (Parashath ‘Eqev).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Parent’s Day, Merry-Go-Round Day, Sysadmin Day, Metric Mitochondria Day (established by yours truly 2010-01-24; be thankful for decimal measurements and obligate symbionts today).

Today’s news and commentary:

“Hot weather shrinks size of German fries”
“"Darth Vader" strikes NY bank”: He may trying to raise capital for his next Death Star.
“How Does a Heat Wave Affect the Human Body?”

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is “Really Big, Odd Roadside Attractions” Number 7 is particularly awesome. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of typos

2010-07-23T18:40:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 12 ’Av 5770 (Parashath Wa’ethḥannan).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Hot Enough For Ya Day, National Vanilla Ice Cream Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Help Save Africa's Lions from Extinction - Take Action Today @ The Animal Rescue Site”, “Stand Up for the 4.9 Million Displaced Sudanese - Take Action Today @ The Hunger Site”, “Urge Congress to Help End Violence Against Women - Take Action Today @ The Hunger Site”, “ONE | Ask the Senate to deliver their promise to Haiti”, and “Why is the Obama administration listening to right-wing smear merchants?”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Caterpillar's Innards Move Before It Does”
“The Moon Hoax”

Today’s weird thing is this list of handy safety tips I found in a hotel room recently. Note item 6.

I am chalking that one up to a typo. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

A new invention meant to make telephone calls more inconvenient

2010-07-22T17:10:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 11 ’Av 5770 (Parasthath Wa’ethḥannan).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Pied Piper Day, Pi Approximation Day.

NOTE: Now that the Nine Days break is over, today you are getting most of what accumulated during that time.

Worthy causes of the day: “JCRC-NY Write to Rickys”, “ColorOfChange.org: Put up or shut up: It's time for prominent Tea Party leaders to step forward and deal with racism within the Tea Party”, “Protect the Future of Fish and Fishing in America - The Petition Site”, “MoveOn.org Political Action: We need Elizabeth Warren at the CFPB!”, and “Forget what Timothy Geithner thinks. We want Elizabeth Warren to police Wall Street.”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Concern for Those Who Screen the Web for Barbarity”: Something new to worry about.
“Sex in Bits and Bytes: What's the Problem?”: No, it’s not harmless.
“Comparative photos of Mount Everest 'confirm ice loss'”: No, global warming is not a hoax or conspiracy.
“Couple stunned as whale jumps into yacht”
“Saturn's Moon Triggers Giant Snowballs in Planet's Ring”
“How does Lutetia compare to the other asteroids and comets visited by spacecraft?”: This article has a really nice composite picture of all the asteroids photographed by human spacecraft.
“Are Everyday Consumer Products Making People Sick? A Q&A with Paul D. Blanc”
“Passwords that are Simple--and Safe”
“Heftiest Star Discovery Shatters Cosmic Record”

Image of something like what they would have to have inside this thing via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing, courtesy of Nancy, is the Port-O-Rotary Phone. This is an old-fashioned rotary telephone modified to work as a cell phone. This should be useful for all of your who thought conventional cell phones were too easy to dial and were not bulky enough. Enjoy (or be puzzled) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of houses made of meat

2010-07-11T18:19:00.000+03:00

Image which Zemanta thought was relevant for no good reason via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 29 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Devarim).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Day of the Five Billion/UN World Population Day, National Slurpee Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“The Creativity Crisis”: This might explain the decline in quality of humor we have in this country.
“Robins can literally see magnetic fields, but only if their vision is sharp”
“'Hollywood Accounting' Losing In The Courts”
“Alternative evolution: Why change your own genes when you can borrow someone else's?”

Today’s weird thing is “In Vitro Meat Habitat is a Shelter That You Grow”, which is something which comes from bad science-fiction where it is clear that the writer has not thought the idea through to figure out whether it makes sense. Hint to anyone seriously interested in pursuing this line of invention: live tissue needs nourishment to stay alive, and animal tissue for the most part does not make its own food. Yes, a house made of flesh is almost certainly doable, but having to feed the house is not an idea I particularly relish. And knowing my luck, I would get a house with allergies which would cause its respiratory system to make a lot of noise and keep everyone in the neighborhood up all night. And such a house had better be plugged directly into the sewer system, because there is no way I am going to clean up after it. Enjoy (or be weirded out) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of crazy praying mantises

2010-07-09T18:47:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 27 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Maṭṭoth-Mas‘e).

Worthy causes of the day: “Tell Mott's Management: Don't Take Money out of Workers' Pockets!” and “Stop Risky Offshore Drilling Without Environmental Review - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is this praying mantis:

Yesterday I discovered that not only is a praying mantis able to cling to the side mirror of a car traveling at 45 miles per hour, but this one was actually crazy enough to do so when I went to mail packages at the post office. It even remained on its new perch while being photographed. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Beware of robot owls

2010-07-08T17:26:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 26 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Maṭṭoth-Mas‘e).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Video Games Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “End Childhood Hunger in America! - The Petition Site”, “ONE | Path to 2015”, “Protect Against New Drilling - The Petition Site”, and “BPMakesMeSick.com”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Tourists get ready for simulated kidnapping”: I cannot make something like this up.
“The proton shrinks in size”
“Wut? There were Lolcats in teh 1800s?!”
“Science, mathematics: Physics major has a name for a really big number”: He thinks the official SI prefix for 10²⁷ should be “hella-”. It is definitely no more silly than “googol” for 10¹⁰⁰ and “googolplex” for 10^10¹⁰⁰. Personally I would like to see “zilo-” (from “zillion”) for an arbitrarily large amount and “zicro-” for an arbitrarily small amount.
“Square Pixel Inventor Tries to Smooth Things Out”

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is the USB Robot Owl, which is something in the way of a robotic pet which can perch on top of your laptop. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of opinionated cats

2010-07-07T19:23:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 25 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Maṭṭoth-Mas‘e).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Father and Daughter Take a Walk Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Survey Says To UK — Repeal Laws of Thermodynamics”

Today’s weird thing is “this is my opinion”.

I am under the impression that many cats have opinions like this. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of hungry bookshelves

2010-07-06T17:37:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 24 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Maṭṭoth-Mas‘e).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Fried Chicken Day, Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Tell the FCC to Protect the Open Internet - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Special Report: Europe finds politics and biofuels don't mix”

Today’s weird thing, finishing off my Pac-Man material, is “Books Eat TV!”:

This may be the coolest bookshelf ever created. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of subliminal Pac-Men

2010-07-05T19:05:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 23 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Maṭṭoth-Mas‘e).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Independence Day (celebrated) (USA).

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing, still on the Pac-Man theme and definitely a form of trick-photography, is “More Subliminal Pac-Man”:

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Pac-Man vs. Cobra Commander?

2010-07-04T19:37:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 22 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Maṭṭoth-Mas‘e).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Independence Day (USA), National Country Music Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Ostriches Offer Clues to Dinosaur Motion”

Image of a former ghost from Pac-Man (maybe) via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing, still on the Pac-Man theme, is “LOL: Cobra Commander in Pac-Man”, which may be the only Pac-Man crossover with G.I. Joe ever. Whether this suggests anything about the motivations of Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde is left unresolved. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of crocheted Pac-Man and ghosts

2010-07-02T20:14:00.000+03:00

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 20 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Pineḥas).

Today’s quasi-holiday: I Forgot Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Stop Antibiotic Abuse on Factory Farms”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing, still on the Pac-Man theme, is “pacman and his ghost softies - Now with free pattern! - CROCHET”. Now you too can spend a lot of time crocheting your own Pac-Man and ghosts. Note: If you want to be really original, consider crocheting dots, power pellets, fruit, and a maze, too. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Beware of Pac-Man amigurumi (or just wonder what it is)

2010-06-30T18:46:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 18 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Pineḥas).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Leap Second Adjustment Time.

Worthy causes of the day: “Save dairy farms from big agribusiness”, “Alliance for Justice: Tell Congress: Repair the Damage Caused by the Corporate Court”, and “Make Sale of Crush Videos Illegal Again!”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“What happens when coal is gone?”: This is a very serious question which needs to be dealt with. There is only a finite amount of coal on this planet, and unless it is being created a lot faster than anyone seems to be suggesting these days, we will run out of it sooner or later. This is regardless of such issues as global warming and pollution.
“Climate Change May Exacerbate Hot Cities”: Also a big problem. Last I heard, more than half of all humans on the planet live in cities.
“Strength in naughty or nice”
“Too Much Salt Eaten by Almost Everyone”
“What McChrystal’s Firing Says about American Values”
“Shifty Science: Programmable Matter Takes Shape with Self-Folding Origami Sheets”

Image of something like today’s weird thing, only with a different subject matter, via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Pac Man Amigurumi!”, which is knitted or crocheted stuffed Pac-Man and ghosts. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Pac-Man’s father’s ghost

2010-06-28T19:09:00.000+03:00

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 16 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Pineḥas).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Paul Bunyan Day, Please Take My Children to Work Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “BP is burning endangered sea turtles alive.”

Today’s news and commentary:

“Raytheon turns swords into plowshares”

Today’s weird thing is what may be the only Pac-Man-Shakespeare crossover ever, “Pac Man Hamlet”.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and do not come back as a ghost.

Aaron

Beware of ghosts (again!)

2010-06-25T19:40:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 13 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Balaq).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Take Your Dog to Work Day, Log Cabin Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Obama: Keep Your Promises to End Hunger! - The Petition Site”, “JCRC-NY Write to Gilad Shalit”, “Join financial titans in telling Congress: Crack down on Wall Street abuses. | Progressive Change Campaign Committee”, “Save the Internet: Take Action!: Stop the Secret Meetings at the FCC”, “Tell Hillary Clinton: Stand up to Blackwater”, “Health Care for America NOW! | Stand Up for Your New Rights”, “Repower America | Tell Our Leaders: Clean Energy Now!”, “Take Action: Call on BP to pay for all cleanup costs and fines”, “action.firedoglake.com | Tell BP to Protect Gulf Cleanup Workers”, “"Drill, Baby, Drill" comes to Discovery?”, and “Less than 10 Days before a Yeshiva Will Be Destroyed”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is “PAC-MAN The Movie trailer”:

(I’ve got a whole bunch of Pac-Man things, and you're going to have to suffer through all of them.) Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Beware of Pac-Man cornering the cherry market

2010-06-20T19:29:00.002+03:00

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 8 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Balaq).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Father’s Day, World Refugee Day (UN), Ice Cream Soda Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “End Violence Against Women - The Petition Site”, “Friends of the Earth U.S.”, “Action at Oil Change”, “Obama, Say No To Commercial Whaling! - The Petition Site”, “ONE | 3.5 Million Healthworkers Needed”, “Support Women's Health with the Global MOMS Act - The Petition Site”, “Please Include the Temple Mount in the Heritage Plan - אנא הוסף את הר הבית לרשימת אתרי המורשת Petition”, “Working Families » Take Action!”, and “What President Obama should have said.”

Today’s news and commentary:

“The Living Matrix: A Movie Promoting Energy Medicine Beliefs”
“How We Fool Ourselves Over and Over”
“White rice raises risk of type 2 diabetes”
“Real names of 23 fictional characters”
“10 Things the Internet has Ruined and Five Things it Hasn't”
“WickedLasers Unveils "Lightsaber" Powerful Enough to Set People on Fire”
“The Real Science Gap”, which is described as “It’s not insufficient schooling or a shortage of scientists. It’s a lack of job opportunities. Americans need the reasonable hope that spending their youth preparing to do science will provide a satisfactory career.”
“Fact or Fiction: The Days (and Nights) Are Getting Longer”
“Solar Powered Shrub Car is Not Your "Garden Variety" EV”
“Climate already helping disease spread north: study”
“The brain thinks hands are wider and stubbier than they actually are”
“Were some gigantic Jurassic sea creatures warm-blooded?”

Today’s weird thing is “Pac Man Movie”, which deals with the lives of ghosts and their war on Pac-Man.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Pac-Dog

2010-06-13T18:30:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 1 Tammuz 5770 (Parashath Ḥuqqath).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Juggling Day, International Puzzle Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Tell Boehner: No BP Bailout”, “Take Action: Support ECEA - Hold Big Oil Accountable!”, “A victory for the Clean Air Act... for now.”, “JCRC-NY State Dept Petition: Urge State Dept to Investigate Flotilla Passengers”, “Make Alzheimer's a National Priority! - The Petition Site”, and “Take Action: Urge your Senators to support the Appalachia Restoration Act | Rainforest Action Network”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Eyeborg Bionic Eye Camera Shows Winks and All”
“Astronomers see exoplanet orbiting its parent star!”: We live in an age of wonders. Never forget that.
“Back in style: An ancient shoe from 3500 B.C. looks like moccasins worn in the 1950s”
“Farmer fires home-made cannon to defend land”

Today’s weird thing, still on the Pac-Man theme, is “Pac-Dog”.

Pac-Man is extremely difficult to recast in terms of our universe or ones like it, but this is an interesting attempt. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy new month.

Aaron

Beware of robotic vacuum cleaners

2010-06-08T16:57:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 26 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Qoraḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Taco Day, World Ocean Day, World Brain Tumour Day, Upsy Daisy Day.

Image of Roomba via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is Roomba Pac-Man, in which Pac-Man is implemented using robotic vacuum cleaners. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Pac-Man the Superhero

2010-06-07T17:41:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 25 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Qoraḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: International Clothesline Week, Daniel Boone Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Save BioGems: Take Action: Stop the Pebble Mine”, “74 Democrats sold you out to AT&T, Verizon and Comcast”, “Stop Shell Oil's Offshore Drilling Plans in the Arctic - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, “Congress: close the hedge fund loophole”, “DCCC | Oil Spill is 'not an environmental disaster'? Sign our petition to set GOP Rep Young straight”, and “Save the International Affairs Budget - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Obese Sydney bird sent to birdy bootcamp”
“Restaurant tells diners to eat up or else”
“Peak Wood: Nature Does Impose Limits”
“Jedi Mind Tricks: Scientists Probe the Psychology of Darth Vader”׃ I find your lack of faith that this is a real article disturbing.
“How The U.S. Government Killed The Safest Car Ever Built”
“Quick tips to foil Mac break-in attempts”
“Windows, Mac, or Linux: It's Not the OS, It's the User”
“Go veggie, cut fossil fuels to aid planet: study”

Image of the wrong Pac-Man via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Pac Man: The Movie” (actually a trailer for a non-existent movie):

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Pac-Man

2010-06-04T18:44:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 22 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Shelaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Emancipation Day (Tonga), International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression (UN), Clean Air Day, Mary Church Terrell Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Support Israel In Gaza Flotilla Incident Petition”, “Take Action: Letter to Vice President Biden | Save Darfur”, “End Corporate Control of Our Food Supply - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Best astronomy-related college prank ever”
“Chicken death foul reflection of crime wave”: I do not make stuff up like this up. I just report it.

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing, again in the theme of Pac-Man, is “Pac-Man: The Movie”, the tale of ghosts caught in a maze and hunted by a yellow, spherical, psychopathic killer. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of ghosts near Washington Square Park

2010-06-02T17:16:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 20 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Shelaḥ).

Worthy cause of the day: “Take Action: Tell Your U.S. Senators: Senate Leadership Must Act!”

Today’s news and commentary:

“Is Organic Food More Healthful?”: The answer is: not really. Note that the author explicitly does not consider the ecological benefits, which are another matter entirely.
“Construction: Don't Hold the Rice”: I cannot make up something like this.

It looks a lot better than this image from Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is Pac Manhattan, a game in which Pac-Man is played on city streets. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and feel free to confuse people by implementing this where you live.

Aaron

You, too, can eat a ghost (sort of)

2010-06-01T18:00:00.002+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 19 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Shelaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Go Barefoot Day, International Children’s Day, Doughnut Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Too extreme even for FOX.”, “Take Action: Take action for human rights!”, “Demand transparency in Wall Street reform negotiations.”, “Working Families » Take Action!”, “PETITION TO CONGRESS: Save Net Neutrality! | Progressive Change Campaign Committee”, “Repower America | Tell BP: Spill the Truth!”, and “Tell EPA: Take away BP's billions in federal contracts”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing, still on the Pac-Man theme, is “Pac-Man Candy”, which makes some sense since one of the goals of the game is to eat stuff. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Blinky

2010-05-31T19:14:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 18 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Shelaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Memorial Day (USA), What You Think Upon Grows Day, World No Tobacco Day, Speak in Complete Sentences Day.

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing, continuing the Pac-Man theme, is “Pacman at UNC”, which explores the idea of live-action Pac-Man. Sorry, no embedding. I blame Blinky.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde

2010-05-25T17:38:00.000+03:00

Image of the infamous 256th level bug in the original Pac-Man via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 12 Siwan 5770 (Parashath BeHa‘alothekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Towel Day, Nerd Pride Day, Star Wars Day, African Liberation Day, National Tap Dance Day, International Missing Children’s Day.

Today’s weird thing is Google Pac-Man, Google’s tribute to the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man in the form of a fully-playable version of the game with the maze shaped like the Google logo. Google Pac-Man reportedly wasted 4,820,000 person-hours when it was launched on Friday. That is how addictive this game/logo is. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

☠☡☢☣⚠⚡☹

2010-05-24T17:11:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 11 Siwan 5770 (Parashath BeHa‘alothekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Brother’s Day, Victoria Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “ColorOfChange.org: Tell Fox: "Fire John Stossel"”, “Blackwater is just the tip of the iceberg”, “Stop the Comcast-NBC Merger | Free Press”, “Stop The Drill | Oceana North America”, “American Insurance Companies: Stop Canceling Women's Policies - Take Action Today @ The Breast Cancer Site”, “Save Gulf Sea Turtles - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, “action.firedoglake.com | Sign the petition to President Obama: End plans for offshore drilling”, “Take Action: TrueMajority.org: NO BAILOUT FOR BP”, and “MoveOn.org Political Action: No Bailouts for Big Oil”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“From bad to worse: Hard-luck planet gradually being devoured by its host star”
“How Many Cancers Are Caused by the Environment?”
“It's Not Just You: Hearing Half a Phone Call Is Annoying”
“Crystal iPhone dock will help rid you of your excess cash”: I just post stuff like this. I do not explain them.
“Alcohol and Pregnancy”
“Securing your Facebook privacy settings”

Image of the flag of Esperanto, which is a zillion times better than iConji via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “New iConji language for the symbol-minded” and the actual site of this new language, iConji. Connecting the world. The idea behind iConji is something in the way of a universal icon-based language for text messages. The problem with it is—and I say this with all the emphasis it deserves—WE DO NOT NEED YET ANOTHER UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE. There have been a host of would-be international, artificial languages, and so far the only one with a decent number of speakers is Esperanto—and Esperanto speakers are rare. iConji has two huge problems: small vocabulary (1,100 word-symbols) and no grammar. The creators intend for people to contribute to the vocabulary, but the site does not seem to give even the barest outline of an iConji grammar. For all its faults, Esperanto is starting to look great by comparison. Furthermore, the very fact that iConji has so many symbols is going to make typing a big pain. I think I will stick to English for international communications for the moment; in many respects it is a terrible language, but at least you can type it and find a lot of people who speak it. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of ridiculously ostenatious iPads

2010-05-18T23:12:00.000+03:00

Image in lieu of a picture of an iPad via Wikipedia because Zemata refused to give me something I considered acceptable; this is Mary McLeod Bethune, FYI

Greetings.

Jewish date: 5 Siwan 5770 (Parashath Naso’).

Today’s quasi-holidays: Mary McLeod Bethune Week, International Museum Day, Visit Your Relatives Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Friends of the Earth U.S.: Say 'No!' to Offsets, 'Yes!' to Real Climate Solutions”, “Repower America | Tell Your Senators: Time to act!”, “An inconvenient truth about the climate bill”, and “Help Wild Tigers Survive - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is “Solid gold, diamond-encrusted iPad for the truly 'elite'”, which seems to your humble blogger to be ridiculously ostentatious and more likely to make the owner look like an idiot than impress people. Enjoy (or mock), share the weirdness, and ḥagh sameaḥ.

Aaron

The hazards of laser pointers

2010-05-13T17:41:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 29 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath BeMidhbar).

Worthy causes of the day: “Support Clean Energy Jobs - Take Action Today @ The Hunger Site”, “End the Pet Primate Trade - The Petition Site” and “Take Action: Tell Obama to stand up to Big Oil!”

Today’s news and commentary:

Today’s weird thing is “Laser Pointer”:

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and, please, don’t tease your cat.

Aaron

Beware of retro telephone handsets

2010-05-12T18:16:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 28 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath BeMidhbar).

Today’s quasi-holidays: National Lab Day, International Nurses Day, National Third Shift Workers Day/National Nightshift Workers Day, and (inexplicably) Limerick Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “ONE | Fix This Budget”, “Heart Disease and Stroke. You’re the Cure.: Tell our Senators to get moving on Child Nutrition”, “Congress is 0 for 9 - The Petition Site”, “Take Action: Senate Foreign Relations Committee Hearing | Save Darfur” and “Save BioGems: Take Action: Save Yellowstone/Greater Rockies”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Jupiter Loses A Stripe”
“Not So Conservative When It Comes to Saving Energy”
“National Lab Day Seeks to Leverage Hands-on Learning to Broaden Science's Appeal”
“Working overtime: Good for the wallet, but bad for the heart”
“"Murdered" Chinese man reappears after 10 years”: Yes, people, torture does not produce reliable information; threaten or inflict enough pain on someone, and you can expect him/her to say whatever he/she thinks you want to hear that will make the pain stop, even if it bears little resemblance to the truth.

Today’s weird thing is the ThinkGeek Bluetooth Retro Handset. This should be useful for those wanting classic telephone style or interested in confusing others. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of whatevers

2010-05-11T17:32:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 27 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath BeMidhbar).

Today’s quasi-holiday: Eat What You Want Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “CARE : Defending Dignity - Fighting Poverty : International Protecting Girls by Preventing Child Marriage Act”, “Stop Terrorists from Buying Guns and Explosives - The Petition Site”, “Friends of the Earth U.S.: Tell President Obama to Support a Financial Speculation Tax”, “Save BioGems: Take Action: Stop the Pebble Mine”, “Ban New Offshore Drilling - The Petition Site”, “Working Families » Take Action!: Sign the petition to Albany”, “Take Action: TrueMajority.org: Mr. President, THIS is why drilling is bad.”, “Empowering Women Can Save Children - The Petition Site”, and “Heart Disease and Stroke. You’re the Cure.: Ask Your Legislator to Override the Veto!”

Today’s news and commentary:

“Comprehensive study of 'time twins' debunks astrology”: Completely unsurprising.
“World's Biggest Beaver Dam Visible From Space”
“U.S. Farmers Cope With Roundup-Resistant Weeds”: Yes, evolution is at work here.
“A Single Molecule Computes Thousands of Times Faster than Your PC”
“Unconventional thinkers or recklessly dangerous minds?”: About AIDS denialism and the question of how to deal with it. This is not a trivial issue since AIDS kills people.
“Robots With Knives: A Study of Soft-Tissue Injury in Robotics”

Today’s weird thing is “grand lunar after ur tang”:

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and keep that whatever away from your Tang.

Aaron

Beware of time travel in this or any other timeline

2010-05-07T18:47:00.001+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 23 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath BeHar-BeḤuqqothay).

Today’s quasi-holidays: No Pants Day (with no clue why this is worth celebrating), International Tuba Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Take Action: Support Faster FOIA”, “Take Action: Benchmarks Report Card | Save Darfur”, and “Save BioGems: Take Action: Say No to New Offshore Drilling”.

Questionably worthy cause of the day: “The Time Traveler Convention - May 7, 2005”. Pass on to future generations that when time travel becomes possible, they should attend. Or in the meantime, just read the disturbing report of what happened there, “Grandfather Paradox”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Neandertal Genome Study Reveals That We Have a Little Caveman in Us”: Unsurprising.
“Seven more Dictionary tips”
“Silicone Tally: How Hazardous Is the New Post-Teflon Rubberized Cookware”

Today’s weird thing is “A Guide to SF Chronophysics”, which contains more information on time travel in science-fiction than most people probably realizes exists. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Beware of Spider-Man

2010-05-06T18:01:00.000+03:00

Image which Zemata decided was relevant for absolutely no good reason via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date: 22 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath BeHar-BeḤuqqothay).

Today’s quasi-holidays: No Diet Day, Nurses’ Day.

Worthy causes of the day: “Sign the Petition | Terror Gap” and “Samsung: Come Clean About the Hazards in Your Workplace - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“General election 2010: Information is Beautiful goes poll dancing”: Polls can be substantially inaccurate, especially long before elections. Never forget “Dewey Defeats Truman”!
“A thousand trillion suns”: The message: awe and humility.
“In Deep Water: Can we afford to spill any oil?”
“Deniers abuse power to attack climate scientists”
“Top 10 things Hollywood thinks computers can do”

Today’s weird thing is “Spider-Man foils comic book thief in Australia”. The title does not quite mean what it sounds like, but the incident is rather amusing. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and thank your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Aaron

Beware of the government

2010-05-04T18:41:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 20 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath Behar-Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s quasi-holidays: International Respect for Chickens Day, Kite Day, International Firefighters’ Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Save BioGems: Take Action: Put an End to Commercial Whaling”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Mosquitoes inherit DEET resistance”

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Politics Explained”. This is a humorous look at politics, in terms of a farmer who has two cows, which has been wandering the Internet for years and being modified. The version I saw before this one was even more cruel. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and keep the government away from your cows.

Aaron

Beware of derivative markets

2010-05-03T17:25:00.000+03:00

Greetings.

Jewish date: 19 ’Iyyar 5770 (Parashath Behar-Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s quasi-holidays: World Press Freedom Day (UN), National Two Different Colored Shoes Day.

Worthy cause of the day: “Don't let the climate deniers drown out science”.

Today’s news and commentary:

“Evidence based smear campaigns”: Very depressing.
“Just Deserts”
“The Vaccine War” and commentary on it
“Aphids Pilfered Red Genes from Fungus”: I did not make this up. Reality is bizarre at times.

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Harold is “Easily Understood Explanation of Derivative Markets (In plain language, even a drunk can understand)”. This should help everyone understand what went horribly wrong.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron