Friday, October 30, 2009

Beware of werewolves

Greetings.

Jewish date:  12 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Haunted Refrigerator Night, Frankenstein Friday, National Tell A Story Day, Buy-A-Doughnut Day, Devil’s Night, Mischief Night.

Today’s weird thing is “Wolf-People of the World Unite! Socioeconomic Conflict and Classic Horror Creatures”.  This is an unusual take on werewolves and vampires.  Not sure how much actually works, but interesting nonetheless.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Beware of Martians

Greetings.

Jewish date:  11 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  The Internet’s Birthday, National Cat Day.




Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is the Go Earth, Beat Mars T-Shirt.  (Thank Barry for this one.)  Sports fans may want to ge one now and avoid the rush when interplanetary sports leagues are founded.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Beware of EMF

Greetings.

Jewish date:  10 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Day of National Concern About Young People and Gun Violence, Make a Difference Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Take off Walmart's health care "mask"”, “End So-Called Pre-Existing Conditions!”, and “Health care reform is around the corner”.

Today’s weird thing is the Ghost Hunter EMF Meter.  This is a completely ridiculous and worthless item, and the only point of it seems to be humor.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Beware of zombie cats

Greetings.

Jewish date:  9 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Cranky Co-Workers Day, Navy Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “No triggers for a public option. Tell Congress now.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “…brains…”.
funny pictures of cats with captions
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, October 26, 2009

Job application stupidity of the day

Greetings.

The job application I am working on was designed by someone who apparently has no understanding of what a résumé/CV is for.  Practically everything which is normally included in a résumé/CV must be filled in using forms in painful detail.  This is an insult to every applicant.  My recommendation:  fire this character.  He/she does not belong in human resources.

Aaron

Beware of particles

Greetings.

Jewish date:  8 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).


Today’s quasi-holidays:  International Dadaism Month, Mother-in-Law’s Day, Mule Day.


Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is The Particle Zoo: Subatomic Particle plushies.  I cannot make something like this up.  Physicists may find these either amusing or very annoying.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Beware of sacks

Greetings.

Jewish date:  7 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  Mother-in-Law Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Change We Can Believe In” and “Reject Torture and Support the Closure of Guantanamo Bay!”  Also relevant is Names of the Dead.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “SACK RACES”.
funny pictures of cats with captions
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, October 23, 2009

Beware of vanity plates

Greetings.

Jewish date:  5 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Today’s weird thing is “No Plate”.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, October 22, 2009

BEWARE OF THE SOFA

GREETINGS.

JEWISH DATE:  4 MARḤESHWAN 5770 (PARASHATH NOAḤ).

TODAY’S QUASI-HOLIDAYS:  INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, INTERNATIONAL STUTTERING AWARENESS DAY.

WORTHY CAUSES OF THE DAY:  “Call them out: Tell Harry Reid to expose the Democrats who want to filibuster a public option”, “Take Action: TrueMajority.org:  Stand with Melanie, not the insurance CEOs”, and “GOP: Stop Spewing Health Care Lies”.

TODAY’S NEWS AND COMMENTARY:
TODAY’S WEIRD THING IS “After Defeating the Sofa in Combat Gaddafi Made a Sash from It's Pelt”.


ENJOY AND SHARE THE WEIRDNESS.

AARON

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Ravage’s plea

Greetings.

Jewish date:  3 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Noaḥ).


Worthy cause of the day:  “MoveOn.org Civic Action: Stay off FOX” and “Save the Internet: Take Action!:  FCC: Stand Firm for Net Neutrality”.


Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing, included below, was given to me by an insistent mechanical cat.  I was supposed to post it yesterday, but I forgot, and this afternoon I received a phone call which mostly consisted of electronic screeches.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



HUMANS ARE NUTS

Hi, I’m Ravage.  You’ve heard of me, that I’m a special agent for the Cybertonian Police.  (Well, of course you have.)  I know, I know, like, why are you talking to us?  That’s like so Soundwave’s job, he is the communicator.  You know, Soundwave, THE MAN!!!  I know, but he’s busy these days, so is his staff, so, what are you going to do?  You call the best field agent you got!

Yeah, I know, Rumble thinks he could do it.  Rumble thinks he could do anything.  Boo-hoo for him, he’s got stuff to do.  Really, I am too busy myself.  And my shell, I got it all buffed and waxed today.  You have no idea how hard it is to look this good!

Someone has to do it, I guess.  I mean, you should really know better.  Really, what is wrong with all you little squishy wet hydrocarbon blobs anyway?  It’s like listening to Octane any time he comes wandering around, your news, yap yap yap yap yap, hardly any of it true.  And that NewsCorp Fox News, or should I say Faux News, they’re so mean to us!  Any time they show a picture of the fabu Ambassador Megatron, they always make him look hideous!  What they using, the ugly filter?  CNN and al-Jazeera aren’t much better.

Let’s talk some sense into your little fatty processors.  I know, you can’t help being difficult, it’s not like you were designed to be sane like we were, but do try to keep up.  We’ll start with how some of your choice loonies started a war with us and end with how bad movies support terrorism.  Shall we?

AUTOBOTS AND COBRA ATTACK THE CYBERTONIAN EMBASSY:  ILLEGAL, EVIL, AND STUPID

So, we try to be nice to you little guys, try to be all, you know, diplomatic and stuff, because we’re the good guys.  That’s right.  Maybe not Skywarp, he’s such a sludgebag, but the rest of us are pretty swell.  Just want to come to your planet, pick up all these criminal Autobots, and then take them away, that’s all, no big deal.  That’s what cops do.  Only the second we show up, it’s like they come out of hiding and badmouth us and you believe them!  Come on, salty squish bags!  Since when did you ever believe any of these?:

This will not hurt at all.

I will not raise taxes.

Our company puts your best interests first.

That wasn’t me with your best friend in a compromising position.

You might be crazy but you shouldn’t be this stupid!  Yeah, we try to stay above the negativity, but then some of your choice dingbats manage to get a missile through the landing bay door of the embassy ship while it’s open, and boom!  Blown up people everywhere!  And then a bunch of Autobots come in and attack everyone with flame-throwers.  Not cool, guys!  And then they free a bunch of criminals, kill a bunch of others (WTF!), and they’re off.

Yeah, we’ll just forget that little thing.  Lick my mudflaps too while you’re at it.

That missile?  That was launched from a human submarine.  Hmmm, special kind not used by most militaries, Cobra logo on the side of the thing, a certain buddy-buddy friend of Cobra Commander is best-friend-forever of the Autobots... gee, who do you think could have done this...?  I go find Megatron in the infirmary (he got fried pretty badly), and I’m like, Megs, you say the word, I will have Cobra Commander’s head here for you, and I’ll leave the rest of him behind.  And Skywarp says, you know, humans can’t live without their heads, and I tell him to shut up.  Dumb trunk.

But like, no, Megs won’t let us.  We can’t drag ourselves down to that level.  So Megs calls for Laserbeak and Buzzsaw and dictates a few letters.  Dear UN, help us bring these criminals to justice.  Hugs and kisses, Megs.  Her Royal Highness Elizabeth II, Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, please extradite James “Pimp Daddy Destro” McCullen because attacking an embassy is rude.  It’s like blah blah blah blah blah.  And we keep trying this.  For months.  What a freaking waste.  You humans go nah-ah!  You shouldn’t be on our planet!  And then you’re like defending Cobra of all things!  Cobra’s allowed to defend itself and you’re not, so why don’t you go back to Cybertron?  Or better yet, just stand there while they shoot you.





James “Pimp Daddy Destro” McMullen

evil psycho warmonger
This picture is courtesy of the Associated Press.



WTF!!!  Hello, Cobra’s a bunch of terrorists, and every year they kill thousands of you little squish blobs and make a whole lot more miserable!  So you don’t like us.  I get that.  Big surprise, we’re cooler than you are.  But it’s okay for them to do something criminal because of that?  Since when was “I don’t like him” a real defense in court?

Yeah, like even Megs could see that this was going to be a freaking waste of time.

SHOCKWAVE VISITS EARTH:  NOW YOU’VE GONE AND DONE IT

And that takes us to last week, when Astrotrain got back from visiting our home planet Cybertron.  Yeah, he can do interstellar, so deal, squish bags.  (No, Mr. Branson, you cannot have exotic matter so you can do tourism to Alpha Centauri, so stop asking!)  Well, lo and behold, Astrotrain comes back and he’s got the president with him.  Shockwave, President of the Republic of Cybertron, elected ruler of the free galaxy, and almost as good looking as I am.  You have a president visiting another star system in mid-term, you do not have a friendly visit.

They already finished fixing Megs, reformatting him as an F-15 “Seeker” because those are the parts we had already prefabbed (mass production, people; look into it), so he meets the prez in the rebuilt landing bay (with loads more security ’cause we are not doing that missile thing again).  And then Shocks struts out, all confident and cool, and it was like the most awesome moment of my life.  He actually came over and looked at me!  And then Megs’ kid Microtron had to blurt out something about how he can do fun things to her anytime, but Shocks was all cool saying, that’s very considerate of you.  And then Shocks turned to us all and made this speech about how dangerous these times are and how we got to stick together and keep going if we want to finish up and go home, and we are like yes!  We can do it!  And then Shocks and Megs go talk about what happens next.

So, the next day, as you know, Shocks visits the UN building.  I know, we should have called, but the last time Megs did that, you all got rude with your little Howitzers.  We’re not doing that again.  I think you know by now you have a hard time seeing us on radar, so we just showed up, Shocks and Megs, Soundwave (now reformatted as a Black Hawk “Snooper”) to translate, a bunch of Seekers for security, and one Scooper for transport.  And, no, you still wouldn’t listen, so Shocks decides to give the speech outside to anyone who would hear.

But, no, you had to just wave you little guns at us.  Yeah, something that can crash land and walk away is going to even feel the bullet from a hand gun!  Then it turns out Cliffjumper, this annoying Autobot who’s having like a major bromance with the Autobot commander Bumblebee (he can call himself “Goldbug” all he wants, no one else does), he’s in New York, and he comes out and heckles us.  And like Sunstorm, one of the Seekers, tries to go over and arrest him, but he’s always hiding behind humans, big cherry-flavored dipstick.  And so he transforms into one of those stupid VW Beetle things (it’s a damn Golf, people!), and he’s about to get away when suddenly this Toyota Camry comes out of nowhere and RAMS him passenger-side.  And little red Bug goes PING and rolling down the street.  And then the Camry transforms into someone I’ve never seen before, and we got a Transformer fight right there.  And Shocks orders the humans be protected, and the Seekers are like picking them up and putting them somewhere safe and they’re STILL shooting at us, and Shocks is trying to get over there and stop them.  But then Cliff throws the other Transformer into a storefront and gets away.

And then Thundercracker goes over and picks up this Transformer and brings him to Shocks.  (I know, it’s hard to wrap your processors around, but things that turn into jets are a lot bigger than things that turn into cars.  It’s called “scale.”)  Thundercracker is all, who are you, what faction are you, where’s your symbol.  And Shockwave is playing it cool.  So this Transformer pulls off this battle mask, and says, I am Arcee, Autobrat commander, and I come under a flag of truce to discuss terms of surrender.  Shocks is all like, granted, and they were out of there before the National Guard showed up.

Here’s the text they had Soundwave transmit a little while later:

People of Earth,

The appointed representatives of the Republic of Cybertron have repeatedly sought help from the United Nations of Earth in bringing to justice those who attacked our embassy-at-large.  Unfortunately, your leaders have done nothing towards this end.  I therefore have no choice but to authorize the following measures:

1. A state of war is declared between the Republic of Cybertron and the Cobra Organization.  As Cobra is classified as a terrorist organization under the criteria listed in the Uniform Criminal Organization Act, its continued existence is hereby declared forfeit.  The use of military force necessary to accomplish the eradication of Cobra is authorized.

2. Any individuals, robot or human, believed to have participated in, be complicit with, or accessories to the attack are to be placed under arrest and held as prisoners of war pending further investigation, regardless of territorial considerations.  Standards for the treatment of prisoners of war as laid down in the Geneva Convention will be observed for all human detainees.

I ask for the cooperation of the Earthlings in the accomplishment of these goals.  Cobra has a long history of immoral behavior towards its fellow humans, and its discontinuation will only benefit all.  We would rather have all the United Nations of Earth work together with us to bring their terror to an end, but either way, it will end.

Shockwave, President
Republic of Cybertron

THE DEATH OF PIMP DADDY DESTRO:  HIS OWN DAMN FAULT

So right after the prez declared war, they call on me, and soon I’m in the mission briefing room, being given instructions by Constable Starscream, chief of Cybertonian police forces on Earth, for my next extra special outing.  And I guess there was also Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, a bunch of Seekers (including, ugh, Skywarp), and the Chinook-formatted “Scooper” Updraft.  And Rumble and Frenzy are all being full of themselves.  I was like the first of Soundwave’s “cassettes” to be reformatted as a car (Jaguar XK; you’re welcome!), and then Rumble and Frenzy had to follow (with dorky loser cars, big surprise) and even Laserbeak went copycat (yeah, a Cessna business jet and a VULTURE!).  Anything I do, everyone copies me.

While I was stretching out and swatting Laserbeak away, and the dumbtrunk twins giggled their heads off, Starscream came in and started explaining the mission.  We were going in to arrest James “Pimp Daddy Destro” McMullen and his main squeeze Anastasia “the Baroness” McMullen on their heavily defended estate in Scotland.

Pimp Daddy, as you’d better know, is an arms dealer.  Lots of customers up the tailpipe:  United States, United Kingdom, China and Russia for certain things, Saudi Arabia, yadda yadda yadda.  Oh, yeah, and COBRA!!!  Can you believe it, Pimp Daddy and the Baroness all like buddy-buddy with Cobra Commander.  Don’t believe me?  I have the vacation photos.  Anyway, we’re sure they were in on the attack and needed to be brought in.  Long odds, scary weapons, probably surprises.  The Royal Air Force would be ticked at us.  This would rock!

Except it totally blew.  The Seekers shot out this gas which is supposed to put you all in like sleep mode, but some of you had gas masks, and you just shot at us anyway.  Guns are annoying, antiaircraft missiles are just rude.

And then there were the Autobots.  So like a long time ago, there used to be Autobots there, but then Pimp Daddy rented them out to the United States and most of them left.  We thought.  And it turns out there’s a whole TRUNKLOAD of them still there, and they were not happy.  I swear, most of them were from a really annoying clique that called themselves the “Go-Bots.”  Yes, that group that got their own competing cartoon, THOSE Go-Bots.  Dorks.  So instead of driving up to the big castle thing and nabbing the evil squish bags easy, it’s total demolition derby all the way.  So while Frenzy and Rumble are slugging it out with Turbo and Crasher, I nearly run over Vanguard off before Pathfinder tries to ride me (seriously).  And then Cy-Kill of all robots (little pipsqueak) hits me and scratches my paint.  DO NOT WANT!!!

A note on Transformer fights.  Yes, alleged director Michael Bay in his even more alleged movies makes them look cool, but that’s because he has a little something called HOLLYWOOD MAGIC.  In reality they’re pretty embarrassing to watch.  Making a body which can fold up to look like something else usually requires a few compromises, and that means stuff like limited range of motion, high centers of gravity, all manner of vehicle parts hanging off the outside and getting in the way.  You take two Transformers like that going at it and they look like a pair of overdressed top-heavy drunk jelly rolls wrapped in tin foil.  And even as formatings have gone from the older “brick” style to the cooler “alternator” style, even someone with the superarticulated and ultraposable “masterpiece” style is still less articulated and posable than a human.  Arcee is best known for her athleticism because her range of motion is somewhat closer to what a human can do.  Yeah, we do hand-to-hand, but in real combat, it’s usually in vehicle mode.  (How do you think Crasher got her name?)




Jetfire
cowardly sludgebag trunkpolisher
This picture is courtesy of Reflector, military data archivist for the Cybertonian embassy-at-large.



On a lighter note, we did solve the mystery of what happened to Jetfire.  Autobots love coughing his name up, the one “Decepticon” who defected and joined the greater, nobler, Autobot cause and died honorably in battle.  My tailpipe.  NEVER HAPPENED.  Yeah, there was a Jetfire, but he was a total goober.  I don’t know whose incentive tap he was activating, but DAMN he was never cop material.  Totally spazzed out the moment we went interstellar.  Complete robot-resources failure not catching this guy.  Turns out he had an Autobot ancestor, was totally conflicted about the whole mission of arresting Autobots.  First chance he gets, he runs away and joins them.  We kind of suspected he ended up with the Go-Bot crowd, especially when a certain group always showed up for publicity events.  Cy-Kill, you can understand him showing up because he’s so tiny he looks ridiculous, but Scooter and Dive-Dive always came, and even Turbo and Crasher are there not making any secret they’re doing each other.  But shouldn’t a certain Go-Bot who turns into an F-15 also be there?  Well, there he was, and he nearly stepped on me, and I’m actually glad that that the Mark III Seekers can land vertically like a Harrier, because otherwise WE’D BE SCREWED!!!  I don’t know what kind of modifications they’ve been doing to him, but it took Sunstorm and Thundercracker together to stop and arrest his trunk.  Traitor’s going down!

And then the funnest surprise of all.  The Autobots, when they came to Earth (read:  FLED LIKE A BUNCH OF COWARDS!!!), brought a number of plasma-bolt weapons with them.  And since none of those dumbtrunks could actually build something which requires, you know, processors, Pimp Daddy’s been banging his head against the walls trying to duplicate them ever since.  And somewhere along the way, he mounted a standard police-issue plasma HANDGUN on the roof of his castle thing and was shooting at us.  Pew pew!  And I was going to knock down the door, use my claws, climb up the side of the castle, and bravely stop him.  And then I hear THIS IS THE CYBERTONIAN POLICE!!!  STEP AWAY FROM THE WEAPON AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!  And there’s that skidmark Skywarp hovering overhead.  But, no Pimp Daddy Destro has to be stupid and shoot at him, and so Skywarp has to fire back, and the biggest sludgeguzzler in the Cybertonian police force gets the glory of BLOWING PIMP DADDY’S SORRY TRUNK INTO SMITHEREENS!!!  Fool!





Anastasia “the Baroness” McMullen

religious nutcase terrorist
This picture is shamelessly stolen from a pro-Cobra website (or maybe the Associated Press).



The good news is we got the Baroness alive.  That little jelly roll is totally nuts, let me tell you.  It took Frenzy and Rumble together to move her, and then she beat on the inside of my cab the entire freaking trip back to the embassy and wouldn’t shut up.  Very loud for such a tiny critter.  SO happy to put the thing in the brig and let the exobiologists look at her.  I needed a wash, the stinky little squish blob LEAKED!

And now the really bad part.

COBRA ISLAND:  DONE

Even President Shockwave, hard to believe, has people who don’t like him.  Yeah, I know, he’s a cool prez, and he looks damn hot, but no one’s happy the police action’s gone on this long.  A lot of bad things have been said about him, and the Center for Factual Accuracy in Politics has been kept very busy.  One thing no one can say about him, however, is that he’s ever unprepared.

When Deputy Astrotrain returned from Cybertron, he didn’t just have the president with him.  The prez knew talking with the protein shakes would probably fail, so he brought what was needed for the next step:  the 33rd Battalion of the Cybertonian Army, under the command of General Cyclonus, all freshly reformatted.

First stop, Cobra Island.  This isn’t much more than a bunch of jelly-blob skeletons on top of a dead volcano which was built up artificially.  Home to several thousand more advanced jelly blobs, it’s been home base for the Cobra Organization, also known as FREAKING TRUNK TERRORIST SLUDGEWADS.  This is where the Cobra Commander usually lives, as well as the Great Cobra Temple, which holds the stinking dead body of the “prophet” Serpentor.  The Golobulans or whatever they call themselves think that some day Serpentor will be alive again and make all the world love their god Golobulus and kill everyone who doesn’t.  Personally, if a piece of dead rotten protein squish told me it knew the ultimate divine truth, I’d be looking for the animating mechanism because that would be one awesome puppet.

I don’t know what the heck is wrong with you jelly blobs, but on Cybertron, terrorism is a really serious crime.  We don’t try to make them seem so bad by calling them “militants” or “freedom fighters” or (ugh!) “patriots.”  We don’t talk to them, and we don’t try to reason with them, and no one’s crazy enough to give them anything they want.  When the Maximal fundamentalists went from being a bunch of pains in the tailpipe to actually killing people, the government came down hard on them.  No arguments.  There is no more Maximal problem.  End of story.

Frankly, the conquest of Cobra Island was the easiest one like ever.  A few Seekers fly over, spray everything with anesthetic gas, all the little goopies go into sleep mode, and then all the Humvee-formatted ground troops march in, collect the weapons, and organize everyone.  The only fatalities were from traffic accidents caused by out-of-control vehicles, and that wasn’t very many.  And then everyone is given the choice of living in peace or going to jail.  Most chose the former.  THAT’S how you do an invasion.  Humans are so easy to knock out.  Why you bother with bombs and bullets is beyond me.  Some of you, of course, are a bunch of liars and go on throwing Molotov cocktails anyway.  You go to jail, no arguments, no options.

Obviously we don’t want to stay.  Earth is a freaking long way from Cybertron, and we don’t want to keep up an occupation forever.  For the moment Peace Island (we renamed it; Cobra doesn’t get any glory) is administered by us under the direction of Galvatron, an experienced desk jockey, while we work on making the little squish balls learn how take care of themselves.  The prez has declared his goal that in a year he wants Peace Island to have a new democratic government, not the religious dictatorship it had before.  Suitable new government officials are already being screened as we speak.  Good luck, Shocks!

BIG disappointment is that the high priest, grand poobah of the whole thing, Cobra Commander himself got away.  Which means he RUNS LIKE AN AUTOBOT COWARD!!!  Wuss.  Guy lived like a king while he was here and couldn’t stand up and defend himself.  Jerk.  We’ll get him.  He’s now most wanted jelly roll on the whole freaking planet.

And as you little squishies really like stuff, were making you THE ULTIMATE OFFER!!!  Among all the AWESOME stuff that was brought back from Cybertron are lots and lots of ingots of various precious elements.  These ingots are a special 10 cm by 10 cm by 10 cm size for convenient handling by you little mammal people.  A single gold ingot of this size is worth approximately 590,000 United States dollars, and if any one of you little wet splats gives us the information we need to get Cobra Commander, you can have ten of them.  We get him alive, we’ll throw in another ten.  Who wouldn’t want to backstab one of the most evil jigglies around?  TURN THE LITTLE SLUDGESUCKER IN AND GET FILTHY RICH NOW!!!!

Enough of that.  We’ll chat more later.  Peace out.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Beware of remote controls

Greetings.

Jewish date:  2 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Worthy cause of the day:  “Keep Children Safe When They're at Child Care”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is the Control-A-Kid Remote.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, October 19, 2009

Beware of cookies

Greetings.

Jewish date:  1 Marḥeshwan 5770 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Evaluate Your Life Day, Electricity Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Enforce Lower CO2 Emissions to Stop Ocean Acidification”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “Loudness when opening plastic containers with cookies”.
song chart memes
Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy new month.

Aaron

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Beware of sea monsters

Greetings.

Jewish date:  30 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  No Beard Day, World Menopause Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Take Action: No Lobbyists for War Criminals”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy new month.

Aaron

Friday, October 16, 2009

Beware of gagh

Greetings.

Jewish date:  28 Tishri 5770 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Reptile Awareness Day, Dictionary Day, National Mammography Day, World Food Day, Bosses’ Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “MoveOn.org Political Action: Harry Reid: Include the Public Option” and “Take Action: Wild Lands Need You! Help Pass A Strong Climate Bill”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is Vegan Klingon Gagh.  Apparently this is for gagh-lovers who do not want to go to the trouble of digging up earthworms.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Beware of blenders.

Greetings.

Jewish date:  27 Tishri 5770 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Foundation of the Black Panthers Day, National Grouch Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Take Action: Save Rainforests and Stop Climate Change”, “Divided We Fail:  It's not over yet - tell Congress to stay committed to reform!”, “Message in a Bottle”, and “Take Action: Stand with Melanie, not the insurance CEOs”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is Will It Blend?, presented By Blendtec.  This site is an excuse to put all manner of stuff (such as golf balls, glow sticks, and iPods) in a blender and see what happens.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Beware of stairs

Greetings.

Jewish date:  26 Tishri 5770 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Be Bald and Be Free Day, World Standards Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Stop Inappropriate Antibiotic Use on Industrial Farms” and “Protect America's Oceans and Great Lakes!

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “Piano stairs - Rolighetsteorin.se - The fun theory”.  This is supposed to be an unusual attempt to get people to use the stairs.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Beware of fleas

Greetings.

Jewish date:  25 Tishri 5770 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  National Peanut Festival, National Face Your Fears Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Protect Ocean Life Through a Comprehensive National Policy!” and “Act Now for Trade Justice!

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “Mavis became a”:
funny pictures of cats with captions
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, October 12, 2009

Beware of random thoughts

Greetings.

Jewish date:  24 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Columbus Day (US), Thanksgiving (Canada).

Worthy cause of the day:  “Upgrade Aid” and “People with Diabetes Need Health Care Reform”.  Also:  I plan on donating platelets today.  Please consider donating platelets yourself and saving human lives.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “Random Thoughts of People Our Age”.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, October 9, 2009

Beware of whatever

Greetings.

Jewish date:  21 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Leif Erikson Day, National Poetry Day, World Post Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Friends of the Earth: Sign the petition”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “10/7: “Whatever…” Takes Top Honors as Most Annoying”.  Enjoy, share the weirdness (or, you know, whatever; it is what it is, anyway), Shabbath shalom, and ḥagh sameaḥ.

Aaron

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Beware of books with strange titles.

Greetings.

Jewish date:  20 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holiday:  World Humanitarian Action Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Protect Against Toxic Chemicals”.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is Apocalypse Chow: How to Eat Well When the Power Goes Out.  I have not read the book.  I just thought the title was cool.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Beware of remakes

Greetings.

Jewish date:  19 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Bathtub Day, Balloons Around the World.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Tell the EPA: Regulate Dirty Coal Ash” and “Take Action: Send your senators The Ten Riskiest Foods Regulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration Report!”.

Today’s weird thing is Star Wars: Uncut, an ambitious project in which Star Wars, Episode IV:  A New Hope has been sliced into 15-second scenes, and anyone can remake any scene, any way they like.  The final movie may be one of the most disjointedly bizarre things ever created by humankind.  Behold the trailer to this project:


Star Wars: Uncut Trailer from Casey Pugh on Vimeo.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and may the Force be with you.

Aaron

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Beware of ties

Greetings.

Jewish date:  18 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  National Storytelling Festival, World Hospice and Palliative Care Day, National German-American Day.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is the Reversible Noose Tie.  Some may think this is symbolic of what ties are.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, October 5, 2009

Beware of doing stuff yourself

Greetings.

Jewish date:  17 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Long Walk Day, National Golf Day, World Teachers’ Day.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “Methinks sumbodee”.
funny pictures of cats with captions
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, October 2, 2009

Beware of Cheshire cats, take 2





Greetings.


Jewish date:  14 Tishri 5769.


Today’s quasi-holidays:  National Diversity Day, International Day of Non-Violence.




Today’s news and commentary:
In lieu of a weird thing, today I present an advertisement from our newest sponsor below.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, Shabbath shalom, and ḥagh kasher wesameaḥ.


Aaron





Miss Clara Percy Feline Breeders of London, Ltd., is once again pleased to offer cats of the famous “Cheshire” breed. Due to the rarity and difficulties in producing healthy animals which meet the Cat Fanciers’ Association standards, can only offer them in limited quantities on a first-come first-serve basis. A total of fifteen cats are now available for adoption by loving homes.


Cheshire cats are a particularly favored breed. They are characterized by a recessive trait which produces the characteristic deformity of the lips and teeth. This may make the cats difficult to feed, and like many of the smaller breeds of dogs, they may require a diet of soft food. However, they are considered unusually intelligent, and they are well known for their antics. Many owners believe their cats perfectly understand everything they say and display unusual genius for outwitting their human masters. They will happily be around those they adore, though around strangers they do tend to vanish. They are highly tolerant of airborne irritants such as ground peppercorns.




Cheshire+Sassy.JPG.jpg
One of our purebred Cheshire cats with a tortoiseshell coat.


All animals are pure-bred Cheshires and are provided with appropriate shots and litter-box training. The adoption fee per animal is £1 000, with additional fees as required for adoptions outside the United Kingdom. Although we understand that many prefer kittens, due to the limited quantities we cannot necessarily provide cats of a certain age. Please submit requests or questions to hatta@percycats.co.uk. We have had some problems of late with our internet service provider, so please post to this blog if there are any difficulties.


CLARA PERCY’S IS A PROUD HOLDER OF THE ROYAL WARRANT
©2009 Clara Percy’s Feline Breeders of London, Ltd., all rights reserved.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Beware of Cheshire LOLcats

Greetings.

Jewish date:  Jewish date:  13 Tishri 5770.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  World Vegetarian Day, International Day of Older Persons, International Dadaism Month.

Worthy causes of the day:  Give blood, please.  I just got called asking for a donation of platelets, and I scheduled an appointment for the day after Simḥath Torah.  If you can give blood, please do so and save a life.  Also:  “I SUPPORT A PUBLIC OPTION”, “Call them out: Tell Harry Reid to expose the Democrats who want to filibuster a public option”, “Send a message to your Senators (Support Senate clean energy legislation)”, and “Responsible Teen Sex-Education Programs”.


Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird things are “Cheshire Lolcat iz lookin for U
Cheshire Lolcat  iz lookin for U
and “Oh, hai Cheshire Cat. Alice iz nawt here. She went chasing down some wabbit hole.
Oh, hai Cheshire Cat. Alice iz nawt here. She went chasing down some wabbit hole.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron