Wednesday, January 31, 2007

‪י״ב שבט תשס״ז * 31 January 2007: Escape Day/National Gorilla Suit Day

Greetings.

Relevant to one of today’s quasi-holidays: “National Gorilla Suit Day”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird things are Flash animations of “The Elements” by Tom Lehrer and (submitted by Barry) “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Something Awful

HeY i FoUnD tHe ShIfT kEy On ThIs ThInG!!!!!!!

okay enough of that this blog SUX!!!! i mean totally its not even WEIRD u want to see weird go to something awful u can find it @

http://www.somethingawful.com/

a KOOL part is the photoshop phriday part where u can see awesome real pictures @

http://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop/

that is weird & this place is not so go there instead!!!!!!!

& aaron eats vegemite & drinks shirley temples

Monday, January 29, 2007

‪י׳ שבט תשס״ז * 29 January 2007: National Puzzle Day

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is a movie review by Barry, included below. This review is also posted at “The Official Razzies Forum: Read Reviews for EPIC MOVIE”. Enjoy and share the weirdness. You probably will not want to share the movie, though.

Aaron




I ended up seeing Epic Movie, not from my own preference, but out pitying someone who wanted to see it. Needless to say, pity misapplied can have serious consequences.

I will reveal nothing of the content of this movie save this: it contains Carmen Electra painted blue and wearing nothing but a bunch of latex bumps (spoofing Mystique in the X-Men movies). As this will be available for viewing on the internet shortly, the entire rest of the movie can be safely skipped. (Those of you not interested in Carmen Electra in this manner may skip this as well.) Skipping this movie is an excellent idea because it is perhaps the worst movie ever.

This is not bad as Ed Wood was bad. This is not the kind of material which earns Golden Raspberry awards (though if it does not sweep the Razzies, there is no justice in this world). This is not bad like Battlefield Earth, Showgirls, or Catwoman. Each of these are gems compared to this film. Heck, I would rather sit through Freddie Got Fingered or George W. Bush making a State of the Union address. It is so bad, in fact, that watching a puppy be put through a meat grinder while listening to rejects from American Idol would be pleasant in comparison.

There is no word in the English language to describe how truly awful this movie is. If the word existed, it would be considered the worst obscenity ever.

I could tell you details of the awful rehash plot with poor excuses for comedic moments, but you might be traumatized. Personally, I'd rather not risk it. I was horribly traumatized by watching this thing and I might need extensive psychotherapy to get over it. If this movie was shown to prisoners, it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment. The CIA will use this movie in their "renditions" to coerce information out of people. Given the choice between this movie and suicide, suicide looks tempting. Personally, I'm going to drink myself stupid and try to get myself beaten senseless in a barfight because that's the best chance I have for getting this thing out of my head.

Guys, there are things even Carmen Electra can't fix. Trust me.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Monday, January 22, 2007

‪ג׳ שבת תשס״ז * 22 January 2007: Ruby Gamba and Togaman GuitarViols

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird things, submitted by Barry, are the Ruby Gamba and Togaman GuitarViols. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and long live the viola da gamba and arpeggione!

Aaron

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

‪כ״ו טבת תשס״ז * 16 January 2007: National Nothing Day

Greetings.

In honor of today’s pseudo-holiday, there will be no weird thing. Enjoy and share the lack of weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, January 15, 2007

‪כ״ה טבת תשס״ז * 15 January 2007: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day/Personal Firewall Day/Hat Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is The really bad crossover fanfic idea generator. The really bad crossover fanfic idea it gave me was “Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Scooby Doo and Home Improvement . The story should use drug abuse as a plot device!” Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

‪י״ב טבת תשס״ז * 2 January 2007: “A Helping Hand”

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is a little something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



A Helping Hand

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boys position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks,

-- And now what, my little man?
-- Now we run like Hell!

Monday, January 1, 2007

‪י״א טבת תשס״ז * 1 January 2007: Gregorian New Year

Greetings.

There was no weird thing yesterday because it was a fast day.

Relevant to today’s holiday (yes, a real holiday, even though it’s not a Jewish one): “New Year's Superstitions”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is the Necronomicon Plush Book (pre-school edition). Now your kid can share in all the fun of awakening dread Cthulhu, too! Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron