Friday, June 29, 2012

Ha‘Avodhah Street

Jewish date:  9 Tammuz 5772 (Parashath Ḥuqqath).

Today’s event:  Camera Day.

Greetings.

Today’s entry on the series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el is on Ha‘Avodhah (Labor) Street, which starts at HazZethim Street and at the other end suddenly makes a left turn and meets up with Ḥayyim Naḥman Bi’aliq Street.  As usual, descriptions may be embellished for your entertainment and should not be taken seriously.


“I took the captions seriously, and now none of the other Intefe robots wants to play with me.”

This passage reportedly leads to the world of the Twilight stories.  I have not read those books, but I have been warned not to go there.

“My grandparents went there, and they saw Rod Serling, and he said it just wasn’t up to snuff to do an episode on it for The Twilight Zone.”

There is a ninja hiding in this picture.  Even he could not stand the Twilight world.

A family of seals in their car.

I am not clear what the point of these horizontal blocks are.  Maybe for shade, but then something solid would do better.

“I think ◳◳◳ and Salle cut away half of the overhang and sold it.  Good-quality marble sells for a high price these days.”

“◳◳◳ and Salle may be evil, but they don’t do everything wrong in this town, and those things aren’t marble.  It was pirates on vacation committing a random act of pillage.”

The symbolism of the design on these doors means “We are armed with sharp, pointy things and will not tolerate the antics of upstart ◙◙▣◉╳s and ◪◬◘s.”

“I’m scared of robots, aliens, and ninjas.  Tell me where they go away, please.”

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Zevulun Hamer Street

Jewish date:  8 Tammuz 5772 (Parashath Ḥuqqath).

Today’s events:  Paul Bunyan Day, Tau Day.

Greetings.

Continuing the series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el, today’s street of interest is Zevulun Hamer Street, which continues ’Uri Ṣevi Grinbergh Street where it meets with Menaḥem Beghin Avenue and ends at Derekh hamMelekh.  As usual, descriptions of pictures may be inaccurate as part of my devious plot to promote Giv‘ath Shemu’el tourism, so please do not complain if you come visit and discover that they do not really hand out gold bricks to all visitors.

Yet another cloudy day.  I need to learn not to photograph on such days, at least because blue skies look better.



Smurfhenge.

The Smurfs who live in this castle hand out gold bricks to all visitors.  Sadly, I have lived in Giv‘ath Shemu’el too long to qualify.

A Smurf gazebo.

“ARGH!  A photographer!  Squirm away!”

No joke:  They really put exercise equipment in public parks in Israel.

◳◳◳ and Salle took the building here and, just for a change, they are trying to get the owners to ransom it for gold bricks.  Salle has gone on TV and threatened to “MAKE IT GO BOOM!” if they do not pay.

One of our decorated traffic circles, this one with an olive tree, paving, and flowers along the edge.

“Um, all that paving is due to us doing our circular marching exercises on that traffic circle.  We killed the grass, and they decided that they might as well pave it with stones, which we can’t kill.  Sorry about that.”

I think this painted electrical box is supposed to be clouds over the ocean.

More tree cyborgization.

“◳◳◳ and Salle are threatening to cyborgize all the trees and use them as an evil cyborg army.  I’m not buying it.  It wouldn’t be worth the effort to make trees mobile, and the speed at which plants react would make them lousy soldiers.  Then again, ◳◳◳ and Salle aren’t known to be practical.”

Pink furry flowers.  Don’t know what species this is.

The ninja hiding in this picture claims the flowers were genetically engineered by ◳◳◳ and Salle just to confuse people.

The ninja hiding in this picture claims that too many ridiculous stories are told about ◳◳◳ and Salle and that the diabolical duo are responsible for starting such rumors in order to enhance their own reputation.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and beware of ◳◳◳ and Salle.

’Aharon/Aaron

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

HanNasi’ Street

Jewish date:  7 Tammuz 5772 (Parashath Ḥuqqath).

Today’s event:  National Columnists Day.

Greetings.

Continuing the series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el, today’s street of interest is HanNasi’ (President) Street, which stretches from HazZethim Street where it is planned to eventually build Ḥayyim Bar Lev all the way to the highway between Giv‘ath Shemu’el and Bene Beraq.  (And, no, it is not the Bene Beraq from the Haggadhah.)  As previously, captions may be deliberately inaccurate for the sake of entertainment and should not be taken seriously.

Yet another cloudy day.

Considering the number of ninjas from Ḥayyim Bar Lev on the traffic circle at the end of the street, I knew it was going to be a bad day.  (They can be a big pain in the neck.)

I was hit in the back of the head with a nunchaku while trying to take a picture looking down the street and had to run. 

A number of Intefe robots standing around at a driveway entrance, discussing whether they need to bring more Pac-Man bait.

Cyborgized plants.

“Don’t blame me for cyborgizing plants.  Anyone with at least half a CPU knows that such plants produce more light than they reclaim through photosynthesis.”

“Uh-oh.  I think Peter’s had too much to drink again.”

“Look out for the ninja behind you!”  I had to duck to avoid being hit with a nunchaku again, and only by pointing my camera directly at the ninja was I able to vanquish her.  (Ninjas make it a point of honor not to be photographed.)

One of our painted electrical boxes, this one in a minimalist style and previously having been used for a bulletin board.

“Hello, Internet.  This is my garden.  I’m growing flowers and rocks.”

“What is it about young robots which makes them think they can grow rocks?”

“You can’t grow rocks?  Next thing you’re going to tell me that I don’t need an elevator pass!”

Some of our colorful tortoises.  The last one was arrested five minutes after taking his picture for selling young robots elevator passes.

I had no idea what planet the riding moon-beast comes from.  None of the aliens in Giv‘ath Shemu’el claims responsibility for it.

I followed it down this passageway, where I found this:

One of the giant carnivorous plants which Salle reported fighting with penguins.  I decided to get away from it, especially since I did not have a sword with me.

I did, however, tell a group of Intefe robot military cadets.  They marched off in proper formation down the street and down the passageway.  They zapped the giant carnivorous plant to a crisp with lasers.

One of our decorated dumpsters.

“It’s just the highway at the end of the street.”

A giant anthill at the end of the street.  The ninjas got here first and chased off the giant ants.

Looking back from the end of the street.

Reportedly a robotic nightclub.  I was denied admittance.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and don’t buy an elevator pass.

’Aharon/Aaron