Tuesday, June 19, 2012

HagGefen Street

Jewish date:  29 Siwan 5772 (Parashath Qoraḥ).

Today’s event:  Juneteenth.

Greetings.

Today’s entry in the series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el is HagGefen (Grapevine) Street, which is on the north side of town and stretches from HazZethim Street to HarRimmon Street.  As always, the descriptions of the pictures may be inaccurate and should be taken as a sign of my boundless creativity.


Demons had a say in the paving of part of the street with bricks.  My informants claim asphalt makes demon immune systems go haywire so they break out in purple spots.

Demons do not live on this side of the street.

This symbol means “BEWARE OF ◪◬◘”.

“I meant to get the basketball stuck there.  Honest.”

“That’s not mine.  Does it look like I have the legs to ride that?”

A young Intefe robot.

“I made this gate.  I did it for shop class.”

The rare Giv‘ath Shemu’el translucent hummingbird.  They prefer drinking nectar from plastic flowers.

“Stay away from those things.  They pulled out all my hair, and now I’m a hemisphere rather than a cylinder.”

On ’Uri Ṣevi Grinbergh Street, the Intefe robot ■□▢▣ told me that a missing house was abducted by a ◙◙▣◉╳ named ◳◳◳ and her pet ◪◬◘ Salle.  Every Intefe robot on HagGefen Street insisted that ◳◳◳ and Salle had been there recently, and the devastation they wrought had been massive:
Many robots claimed that the burn marks were due to ◳◳◳ and Salle making bonfires and roasting ❏★⌺┶╏▒◸⍍▰◄◑◳⍚✬▅▏⍣.  The devious duo reportedly sang “⩨⧷⏄ ⋘┷⌔┤ ⦁╨⍂⊞⌰ ⨾⏍⧑”, considered one of the worst songs in Milky Way history due to it being supposed to be sung out of tune accompanied by such hideous instruments as the Bazian keyboard kazoo, the Quuxian bagtuba, the Foovonian rosinless bowed banjo, and the Barian squishy tympani—none of which even divides up the octave the same way—and its lyrics praising tax forms in the least poetic language imaginable.  Add to this that ◪◬◘ singing sounds something like a barely musical jackhammer.

“I’m in time out for singing ‘⩨⧷⏄ ⋘┷⌔┤ ⦁╨⍂⊞⌰ ⨾⏍⧑’.”  Much worse punishments have been inflicted on those who sing about tax forms.


Enjoy and share the weirdness, but, please, do not sing “⩨⧷⏄ ⋘┷⌔┤ ⦁╨⍂⊞⌰ ⨾⏍⧑”.

’Aharon/Aaron
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