Friday, June 8, 2012

Gush-‘Eṣyon Street

Jewish date:  18 Siwan 5772 (Parashath BeHa‘alothekha).

Today’s events:  World Brain Tumour Day, National Taco Day, World Ocean Day.


Today’s post in the Giv‘ath Shemu’el series is Gush-‘Eṣyon Street, which stretches all the way from Ḥayyim Naḥman Bi’aliq Street to Yehudhah the Lewi.  As always, descriptions may be inaccurate for your amusement, and you will have to come to Giv‘ath Shemu’el and have me give you a tour to find out what is embellished and what is the truth.

These lovely Smurf houses are where  Gush-‘Eṣyon Street meets Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue.  (If you will remember, I reported on Smurf houses on ’Allonim Street and Moṭah Gur Street.)  The Smurf community of Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue has demanded I discuss them when I discuss Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue, not here.  (It is amazing how threatening a tiny ninja can be.)

Orange trees.  Nothing weird here.  I just enjoy seeing citrus trees.

A passageway leading to the original Smurf Village.  That village was founded by Papa Smurf after—

Excuse me, but a tiny ninja is demanding that I cease and desist.  Someone remind me to discuss Smurf history when I discuss Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue.

A haunted house.  Unlike the haunted house on Bernshten the Kohen Street, the ghosts living in this one have blocked up the windows and doors to keep out the ninjas.  (Ninjas may be able to get into places many other people cannot go, but they cannot go everywhere.)  Right after I took this picture, a group of ninjas from Ḥayyim Bar Lev somehow managed to sneak a battering ram into the yard and smash through the blocks blocking the front door.  I am not sure who won the fight, but I hear that the Addams Family is interested in buying the house.

A passageway leading down the highway, over the hills, through the woods, over Old Smokey, through a canyon, down a mineshaft, under the sea, and finally to the Addams Family mansion.  I know this because Thing came this way, took one look at me (as much as a hand not attached to a body can look at me), and punched me for joking that he had become a Scientologist.

“I don’t want to appear on this weirdo’s blog.  Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll just go away.”

Notice the trail of Pac-Man bait, which leads to an underground Pac-Man trap.

Actually, this is not Pac-Man bait.  It is a sculpture commissioned by the World Ellipsis Society and meant to promote… well you get the picture.

“Oh, wow!  I get to be on the Internet!  I’d like to thank all the little robots who made this possible!”

Remember those vicious carnivorous plants on Ḥayyim Naḥman Bi’aliq Street?  They are at the corner with Gush-‘Eṣyon Street, and not only are they eating a car, but they are also eating a house.  They have started at the foundation and so the house is slowing getting shorter and shorter.  You might want to come visit Giv‘ath Shemu’el before they eat the house completely.

Vicious carnivorous vines eating a gate.  Right after I took this picture, the mayor called in a group of pirates to destroy the vines, though they had to fight with Tarzan first.  (He likes swinging on the vines.)

Enjoy, share the weirdness, beware of vicious carnivorous plants, and do not worry about this series’ massive continuity problems.


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