UNAUTHORIZED “GUEST” POST BY SALLE: HATTE’ENAH STREET

HI.  MY NAME IS ◯▛┲╢┃◑▶, BUT I LIKE TO BE CALLED SALLE.  I’M ◳◳◳’S PET ◪◬◘, AND LIKE ◳◳◳ I’M VERY NAUGHTY.  AND I ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, BECAUSE I THINK THE CAPS LOCK LIGHT IS VERY PRETTY.  ’AHARON HASN’T POSTED IN A WHILE—I THINK HE’S WORKING TOO MUCH ON COMPUTER PROGRAMMING AND WRITING ABOUT NEOPAGANISM—AND I ASKED ◳◳◳ IF I COULD HACK INTO HIS BLOG AND POST ON IT, BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THE FREE PUBLICITY I GET, AND SHE SAID, “OK, GO AHEAD.”  AND I SAID, “YAY!”  AND NOW I’M WRITING THIS POST.  I’M VERY HAPPY.  TODAY I’M WRITING ABOUT HATTE’ENAH (FIG) STREET.  THEY SURE NAME A LOT OF STREETS AROUND HERE AFTER FRUIT.  I DON’T KNOW WHY.

I KNOW THIS ROBOT.  HE OWED ME MONEY.  I TURNED HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND SHOOK HIM UNTIL THE MONEY FELL OUT OF HIS POCKETS.  LATER ON I BOUGHT SOME BUBBLEGUM, WHICH IS REALLY FUN.

THIS GNOME TRIED IGNORING ME, AND I TURNED HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND SHOOK HIM UP AND DOWN UNTIL HIS LUNCH MONEY FELL OUT OF HIS POCKETS.  I’M A VERY NAUGHTY ◪◬◘.

I BOUGHT BUBBLEGUM AT THE WORLD AT THE OTHER END OF THIS PASSAGEWAY.  AND THEN I STOLE THE BUBBLEGUM SALESBEING’S WALLET.

THE BUBBLEGUM SALESBEING CHASED ME DOWN THIS PASSAGEWAY, AND HE OR SHE OR WHATEVER (I’M NOT SURE) HAD TO RUN AWAY, BECAUSE THERE’S A PACK OF VELOCIRAPTORS AT THE OTHER END.  THEY’VE GOT REALLY PRETTY FEATHERS, AND THE BUBBLEGUM SALESBEING’S FEATHERS ARE AN AWFUL SHADE OF ULTRAVIOLET.

I TOLD THIS INTEFE ROBOT THAT IF HE/SHE DIDN’T GIVE ME HIS LUNCH MONEY, I’D MAKE HIS HOUSE GO BOOM.  SADLY, HE/SHE GAVE ME HIS/HER LUNCH MONEY.  I REALLY WANTED TO BLOW UP HIS/HER HOUSE, BUT MY PROFESSIONAL ETHICS DON’T ALLOW IT.  SOMETIMES ETHICS SUCK.

PRETTY, PRETTY CITRUS FRUIT!

PRETTY, PRETTY POMEGRANATES!

THESE ARE OLIVES, AND I DON’T THINK THEY’RE SO PRETTY.

THIS THING BLEW UP WHEN I WALKED PAST IT.  GOOD THING I WAS WEARING A BLAST-PROOF ┙╱╱┽╰╬▬► AT THE TIME.

THIS INTEFE ROBOT WAS SHOCKED THAT I SURVIVED THE BLAST.  I TOOK HIS/HER LUNCH MONEY.

THESE ROBOTS RAN AWAY BEFORE I COULD TAKE THEIR LUNCH MONEY.

DO YOU KNOW ANY TWERPY ROBOTS WHO NEED THEIR LUNCH MONEY STOLEN?  IF SO, PLEASE SEND ME E-MAIL AT SALLE@▿▿┋▽▪┺┕▱╜╌┌.ORG.  IF YOU DON’T, I’M GOING TO STEAL YOUR LUNCH MONEY, BECAUSE I’M FEELING ESPECIALLY NAUGHTY TODAY.


I’M GOING TO MAKE THINGS GO BOOM! NOW.  I LOVE YOU.  BYE-BYE.

SALLE

Te’odhor (Binyamin Ze’ev) Herṣl Street

Jewish date:  14 ’Av 5772 (Parashath Wa’Ethḥannan).

Today’s events:  International Dadaism Month, National Night Out, Poet’s Day.

Greetings.

Resuming the series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el, today’s installment is on Te’odhor (Binyamin Ze’ev) Herṣl Street.  As usual, the descriptions may be inaccurate for the sake of entertainment.

I have no idea why this fence has a wagon-wheel theme.  I have seen it elsewhere in town.

I blame ents for all the shadows.  You beat them in poker once, they never let you forget it.

One of our famous riding chickens.

A playground.

Intefe robots mourning an ent which had just passed away.

One can find graffiti in any city, but only in Giv‘ath Shemu’el have I seen graffiti with copyright notices.

Sometimes I have no idea what someone was thinking.

More of the riding creatures at the playground.

A creative way to get out of ever having to mow the lawn.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron