Thursday, August 23, 2012

UNAUTHORIZED “GUEST” POST BY SALLE: HATTE’ENAH STREET

HI.  MY NAME IS ◯▛┲╢┃◑▶, BUT I LIKE TO BE CALLED SALLE.  I’M ◳◳◳’S PET ◪◬◘, AND LIKE ◳◳◳ I’M VERY NAUGHTY.  AND I ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, BECAUSE I THINK THE CAPS LOCK LIGHT IS VERY PRETTY.  ’AHARON HASN’T POSTED IN A WHILE—I THINK HE’S WORKING TOO MUCH ON COMPUTER PROGRAMMING AND WRITING ABOUT NEOPAGANISM—AND I ASKED ◳◳◳ IF I COULD HACK INTO HIS BLOG AND POST ON IT, BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THE FREE PUBLICITY I GET, AND SHE SAID, “OK, GO AHEAD.”  AND I SAID, “YAY!”  AND NOW I’M WRITING THIS POST.  I’M VERY HAPPY.  TODAY I’M WRITING ABOUT HATTE’ENAH (FIG) STREET.  THEY SURE NAME A LOT OF STREETS AROUND HERE AFTER FRUIT.  I DON’T KNOW WHY.


I KNOW THIS ROBOT.  HE OWED ME MONEY.  I TURNED HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND SHOOK HIM UNTIL THE MONEY FELL OUT OF HIS POCKETS.  LATER ON I BOUGHT SOME BUBBLEGUM, WHICH IS REALLY FUN.

THIS GNOME TRIED IGNORING ME, AND I TURNED HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND SHOOK HIM UP AND DOWN UNTIL HIS LUNCH MONEY FELL OUT OF HIS POCKETS.  I’M A VERY NAUGHTY ◪◬◘.

I BOUGHT BUBBLEGUM AT THE WORLD AT THE OTHER END OF THIS PASSAGEWAY.  AND THEN I STOLE THE BUBBLEGUM SALESBEING’S WALLET.

THE BUBBLEGUM SALESBEING CHASED ME DOWN THIS PASSAGEWAY, AND HE OR SHE OR WHATEVER (I’M NOT SURE) HAD TO RUN AWAY, BECAUSE THERE’S A PACK OF VELOCIRAPTORS AT THE OTHER END.  THEY’VE GOT REALLY PRETTY FEATHERS, AND THE BUBBLEGUM SALESBEING’S FEATHERS ARE AN AWFUL SHADE OF ULTRAVIOLET.

I TOLD THIS INTEFE ROBOT THAT IF HE/SHE DIDN’T GIVE ME HIS LUNCH MONEY, I’D MAKE HIS HOUSE GO BOOM.  SADLY, HE/SHE GAVE ME HIS/HER LUNCH MONEY.  I REALLY WANTED TO BLOW UP HIS/HER HOUSE, BUT MY PROFESSIONAL ETHICS DON’T ALLOW IT.  SOMETIMES ETHICS SUCK.

PRETTY, PRETTY CITRUS FRUIT!

PRETTY, PRETTY POMEGRANATES!

THESE ARE OLIVES, AND I DON’T THINK THEY’RE SO PRETTY.

THIS THING BLEW UP WHEN I WALKED PAST IT.  GOOD THING I WAS WEARING A BLAST-PROOF ┙╱╱┽╰╬▬► AT THE TIME.

THIS INTEFE ROBOT WAS SHOCKED THAT I SURVIVED THE BLAST.  I TOOK HIS/HER LUNCH MONEY.

THESE ROBOTS RAN AWAY BEFORE I COULD TAKE THEIR LUNCH MONEY.

DO YOU KNOW ANY TWERPY ROBOTS WHO NEED THEIR LUNCH MONEY STOLEN?  IF SO, PLEASE SEND ME E-MAIL AT SALLE@▿▿┋▽▪┺┕▱╜╌┌.ORG.  IF YOU DON’T, I’M GOING TO STEAL YOUR LUNCH MONEY, BECAUSE I’M FEELING ESPECIALLY NAUGHTY TODAY.


I’M GOING TO MAKE THINGS GO BOOM! NOW.  I LOVE YOU.  BYE-BYE.

SALLE
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