Today’s news and commentary, much of which Barry is responsible for:
- “Report: Restaurants Should Shrink Portions”
- “Sudan's 'genocide' lands at Israel's door” (Now that’s an awful way to treat refugees.)
- “Lecturers back boycott of Israeli academics ” (“Yes, let’s go ahead and boycott the only democracy in the region on the basis of slander made against them by Arabs. Never mind that we would never think of boycotting authoritarian regimes...”)
- “Shiite Muslims protest over comedy show”
- “Reporter's dangerous trip to secret rocket factory” (“Yes, these are wonderful people—who just happen to be building rockets that kill innocent civilians...”)
- “Pork 1, Antiterrorism 0”
- “Giant Crater Found: Tied to Worst Mass Extinction Ever ”
A Baptist preacher and his wife decided they needed a dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be Baptist. They visited an expensive kennel and explained their needs to the manager, who assured them he had just the dog for them. The dog was produced and the manager said "Fetch the Bible." The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the manager. The manager then said "Find Psalms 23." The dog, showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed thru the Bible, found the correct passage, and pointed to it with his paw. Duly impressed, the couple purchased the dog.
That evening a group of parishioners came to visit. The preacher and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were amazed. Finally, one man asked "Can he do normal dog tricks too?" "Let's see" said the preacher. Pointing his finger at the dog, he commanded "Heel!" The dog immediately jumped up on a chair, placed one paw on the preacher's forehead and began to howl. The preacher turned to his wife and exclaimed "Good grief, we've bought a Pentecostal dog!"