9 Marheshwan 5767 (day) * 31 October 2006: Halloween/Samhain

Greetings.

I’m still rather tired from the trip, especially since I did all the driving yesterday (from about 9 AM to 4 PM). I have to get around to writing up a description of the highlights...

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Euphemisms (1976)”
  
• “Tunnels of Hate”
  
• “Poll: Haredim most hated group in Israel” (The really interesting part is whom people blame for rifts in Israeli society.)
  
• “Risking his life by speaking out” (HashShem save Choudhury from the government of Bangladesh!)
  
• “NASA announces Hubble repair mission”
  
• “Photo-Ops Are Childs Play”
  
• “The Recycled Truths of Islam”
  
• “Indie's Uranium Charges”
  
• “'Racist' bill delayed in Knesset”
  
• “Rejected: Solomon's wisdom”
  
  

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron

---

These are cute...


A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James virgin?”

****

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor’s wife.”

****

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some e-mail. Amen.”

****

One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

****

And one particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

****

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy,don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

****

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping!”

9 Marheshwan 5767 (night) * 30 October 2006: National Tell A Story Day

Greetings.

I’m back in Charleston. Someone bug me to tell you about the trip later. I’m too tired now.

Bobby Awesome and Liz have been reportedly kidnapped by the Communist Hippopotamus Liberation Organization of Earth in an incident which may be related to their posting to my blog while I was gone. (That’s the story I’m telling, and I’m sticking with it.) More on that if I ever hear more about it.

Today’s weird thing is the Museum of Hoaxes. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Bob the Builder

Hi, I'm Liz and I'm Bobby Awesome's bestest friend ever! I currently have him tied up and shoved in the closet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlSvD9b7hx0 Bob The Builder Dubbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctmTzsqDc2Y Dora The Explorer Spoof

this weird thing sux!!!!!!!!

aron always puts these stoopid things on this blog so it really SUX DOG KAZUKAS this s a stoopid hiney butt project why couldnt they use real vampires or somethin?????

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20061025/sc_space/vampiresamathematicalimpossibilityscientistsays

n coz this blog sux i will tell u true but scary things about aron

aron has cds 4 the backstreet boys n listens 2 them l the time
aron askd a store window dummy out on a d8 1ce n got turnd down
aron eatz keesh

uh now i guess

i like girlz makin themselvz look good coz we l like babez but this s really stoopid

http://www.yahoo.com/s/421506

Weird thing of the day

Weird thing of the day

1 Marheshwan 5767 * 23 October 2006: Ro'sh Hodhesh

Greetings.

Note that tomorrow I am going to New Haven for a job interview and genetics colloquium at Yale. Since I may well not have Internet access until I get back, there may be no weird thing of the day until then. Sorry.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Song of a Never-Was South” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “The Inadequate Woman”
  
• “Electronic Voting Machines Could Skew Elections”

Today’s weird thing is “Double Parked”, somewhat submitted by Mom. Enjoy, happy new month, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

30 TISHRI 5767 * 22 OCTOBER 2006: RO'SH HODHESH/INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY

GREETINGS.

TODAY’S NEWS AND COMMENTARY:

• “SHOULD EVERY MUSLIM EMULATE PROPHET MUHAMMAD AS THEIR MODEL?”
  
• “NASA AND NOAA ANNOUNCE OZONE HOLE IS A DOUBLE RECORD BREAKER”

TODAY’S WEIRD THING IS “FREE ONLINE GRAPH PAPER / GRID PAPER PDFS”. DON’T ASK ME WHAT THEY WERE THINKING. ENJOY, SHARE THE WEIRDNESS, AND ENJOY YOUR CAPS LOCK.

AARON

28 Tishri 5767 * 20 October 2006: Aaron rants on abuse of the word "Bible"

Greetings.

This is my blog, so I am going to gripe about anything I want to gripe about. I have mentioned my book-in-progress (tentative title: Divine Misconceptions: An Orange Catholic Necronomicon of Religious Fallacies and Misinformation; it’s been shifting around) previously, and in doing research for it, I have become annoyed at the proliferation of works or collections of works labeled “Bible”. To Jews, the “Bible” is the Hebrew Bible, AKA Tanakh or (to Christians) the Old Testament. To Christians, the “Bible” is the Hebrew Bible plus the New Testament, and it may or may not include various books or parts of books. And then things get worse from there. The term has been applied to any scripture, so one hears of terms like “Muslim Bible” (for the Qur’an) and “Hindu Bible” (for Shastra). And then people started writing their own “Bibles”, some of which are not scripture. So thus we have things like A Buddhist Bible, Oahspe: A Kosmon Bible in the Words of Jehovih and his Angel Embassadors, The Woman’s Bible (which is a commentary and not a bible at all), The Jefferson Bible (a deist hack job on the Gospels), and multiple Wiccan and Satanist “Bibles”, including the incredibly named The Rastafarian Satanic Bible. My list is so far up to 25 “Bibles”—and that’s not including most of the different Christian Bibles or taking translations into consideration. (Yes, I know, Barry, if I include Joseph Smith, Jr.’s “Inspired Version” as a separate Bible, the King James Version arguably deserves to included in the list, too. And so do all the other versions considered canonical—the Greek Bible (Septuagint plus Greek New Testament), the Vulgate, the Peshitta, the Ethiopic Bible, etc.) Enough is enough. Time to do something about it, even if it only symbolic. I therefore, tongue-in-cheek, put my curse on anyone who henceforth writes a new “Bible” and condemn them to read the Wikipedia article on Nuwaubianism, which ranks among one of the weirdest religions ever conceived.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Invisibility Cloak Sees Light of Day”
  
• “Organic or Conventional? For Wheat, It Might Not Matter”

Today’s weird thing is “Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology”. (Yes, I know someone out there is saying, “Adoration to the Batman!”) Enjoy, Shabbath shalom, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

27 Tishri 5767 * 19 October 2006: "Sodium Party"

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Love Story (1991)”
  
• “Robot swarm works together to shift heavy objects”
  
• “Painting the town red, sort of...”
  
• “Listening to the sound of skin cancer”
  
• “'DNA computer' is unbeatable at tic-tac-toe”
  
• “When Cameramen Attack”
  
• “Rabbis tout Jewish option to courts”
  
• “Confident students do worse in math; bad news for U.S.”
  
• “Ethiopians fight Christian proselytizers”
  
• “Frugal Floridian leaves $35M to research”
  
• “Imagine Earth without people”
  
• “Recycling Could Replace Mining for U.S. Iron Supply”

Today’s weird thing is “Sodium Party”. Enjoy, and share the wierdness.

Aaron

26 Tishri 5767 * 18 October 2006: Aaron and Barry's Gregorian birthday/No Beard Day

Greetings.

In honor of my and Barry’s Gregorian birthday, today’s weird thing is Weird Al Yankovic’s song “Happy Birthday”. Enjoy.

Aaron

25 Tishri 5767 * 17 October 2006: Mission 10:17 UV Wave Event To Ocur Oct. 17th 2006 - Will You Be Ready?

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “We need the guts to say no to Rice”
  
• “Wronger Than Wrong”
  
• “Who's Next to Go Nuclear?”
  
• “Virtual economies attract real-world tax attention”
  
• “Urban planning with geopolitical implications”
  
• “Electrodes in brain help man talk again”
  
• “A Black And White Agenda Against Israel”
  
• “BBC: Something to Hide?”
  
• “U.S. PLANS SALE OF AIRCRAFT PARTS TO IRAN” (Huh?)
  
• “The Social Welfare State, beyond Ideology”
  
• “The Terror War Is An Honor War” (I have to get my hands on a copy of this book!)

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is Mission 10:17 UV Wave Event To Ocur Oct. 17th 2006 - Will You Be Ready?. This page is pure nonsense claiming that today we will be bathed in UV light from another universe, multiplying all our thoughts and emotions by 1,000,000. Anyone reading it will wonder what sort of drugs the creators of this page are taking.

Note: The Web-page design is flawed. You may have to copy the contents of the page, paste them into a word processing document, and change the text color in order to read it. We can only hope that the UV beam multiplies the Web design skills of this page’s creator 1,000,000 times.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

24 Tishri 5767 * 16 October 2006: Dictionary Day/Bosses' Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “British Airways worker sues over cross”
  
• “Hawking to star in Big Bang, the movie”
  
• “Right On! Restore Joseph's Tomb”
  
• “Darkness in Dhaka”
  
• “Somalia Islamic radicals hold execution”
  
• “Pope condemns use of religion for hate”
  
• “Airport drops program for Muslim cabbies”
  
• “Report: 38 Muslim scholars accept Pope's apology” (Translation: They decided it was about time Muslims stopped embarrassing Islam.)
  
• “Hiroshi Ishiguro builds his evil android twin: Geminoid HI-1” (Best article title of the day.)
  
• “Controversy-Plagued Element 118, the Heaviest Atom Yet, Finally Discovered”

Today’s weird thing is the Solar Death Ray. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

21 Tishri 5767 * 13 October 2006: Hosha`na' Rabba'/National Peanut Festival

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Holidays (1991)”
  
• “Oldest Embryo Fossils Provide Picture of Early Animal Life”
  
• “Rice: Palestinian struggle for state echoes battle for US independence” (Would someone please tell me why the Bush administration is considered pro-Israel? Rice has consistently bought into the Muslim propaganda.)
  
• “Best. Saturn. Picture. EVAH!”
  
• “Tiny Genome May Reflect Organelle in the Making”
  
• “Radioactive snails lead to Spain-U.S. atomic probe” (No, there are no gigantic gastropods threatening Toledo.)
  
• “Falling into the gap trap”
  
• “Darfur sanctions needed -report” (PREDICTION: The UN and superpowers will do nothing of any substance to stop the genocide ever, but will cry about the dead after the fact and claim that if they had only known the true extent of what was happening, they would have intervened.)

Today’s weird thing is the Bath University RepRap Project, whose goal is to make a machine that can make practically anything, including copies of itself—and make the whole thing open source. You’ll know they’ve succeeded when a friend gives you a universal constructor for free. Enjoy, Shabbath shalom, hagh sameah, and share the weirdness (or universal constructors).

Aaron

20 Tishri 5767 * 12 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/Farmer's Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Brazilian Nuts - And The Cartoon War Continues”
  
• “Taser can't stop runaway cow in S.C.” (Thank you, Mom, for pointing this incident out to me.)
  
• “Israel unopposed to building of 5th Temple Mount minaret” (What are they thinking allowing such a thing? It’s time to stop letting the Muslims do whatever they want up there and show them who’s the boss.)
  
• “U.S. weapons to be transferred to terrorists? Militant tells WND rifles for Palestinians might be used to attack Jews” (Somebody tell the Bush administration that Abbas is not our friend.)
  
• “Earth's Tilt Spawns Rise and Fall of Species”
  
• “Iranian TV: Disney's ‘Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest’ is a Pawn of the Zionist Lobby to Gain Cultural Control” (I cannot make up something this silly.)
  
• “Journalist faces sedition trial in Bangladesh for planning to visit Israel”
  
• “The Ahmadinejad Code”
  
• “Skepticism justified”
  
• “EU aid to PA expands to $816 million” (Apparently the EU needs a reminder as much as the Bush administration.)
  
• “The Region: Elementary, simply elementary”
  
• “Immoral Nuclear Relativism”
  
• “The Jewish Singles Scene” by Charleston’s own R. Ari Sytner (Submitted by Harold.)

Today’s weird thing is “Writerly memeage”. Death to the clichés! Enjoy, happy Sukkoth, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

19 Tishri 5767 * 11 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Uninformed Consent”
  
• ““Dialogue of Civilizations, or Clash of Cultures?””
  
• “Don't bring that booze into my taxi!” (You’d think Muslim taxi-drivers would have something better to complain about.)
  
• “Construction planned on the Temple Mount” (Build a synagogue on the Temple Mount! Show the Muslims that they do not own the place! ’Amen! ’Amen! Selah!)
  
• “'Bravo Papa!'”
  
• “Our World: History's dangerous repetition”
  
• “Negotiating in the bazaar”
  
• “Right of Reply: Why I oppose 'house arrest' for my husband”
  
• “Iraq's anti-Christian violence”
  
• “Release Pollard”
  
• “Liquid stops bleeding during surgery”

Today’s weird thing is Failure Magazine, the magazine for those who believe that winning isn’t everything. Enjoy, happy Sukkoth, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

18 Tishri 5767 * 10 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/National Angel Food Cake Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The World in Chaos (1992)”
  
• “Column One: As the storm of war approaches”
  
• “Sadat's death was a prelude”
  
• “Crime and punishment of Gush Katif”
  
• “Moscow posts two Chechen platoons in S. Lebanon, one headed by an ex-rebel commander, “to improve Russia’s image in the Arab world””
  
• “Teaching Teachers to Hate Israel”
  
• “PALESTINIAN USE ARMS TO OBTAIN SERVICES”
  
• “Rocket Men”
  
• “Gas induces 'suspended animation'”

Today’s weird thing is the “Office Fish Tank”. Enjoy, happy Sukkoth, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

17 Tishri 5767 * 9 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/National Poetry Day/Leif Erikson Day/Columbus Day/Canadian Thanksgiving Day

Greetings.

Happy Sukkoth!

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Feast of Tabernacles”
  
• “Tear the Roof Off the Sukkah”
  
• “Huts or tabernacles?”
  
• “The North Korean Bomb”
  
• “The Growing Misogyny in Our Time”
  
• “Be happy! The Breslav joy patrol” (Interesting idea.)
  
• “Video mocking prophet taken offline” (Apparently not everyone in Denmark is caving into Muslim temper tantrums.)
  
• “Bursting the Spherical Bubble: Universe Might Be Pill-Shaped”
  
• “Best. Mars. Picture. EVAH!”
  
• “Mongolia may regulate Genghis Khan name” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “Colas can cause bone loss in old women”

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron

---

There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT.

This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap...I'm off to the pub." The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest cartoon ever.

Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life.

14 Tishri 5767 * 6 October 2006: "Electronic Road Signs and Me"

Greetings.

Tonight starts Sukkoth. I pray that we don’t get rained on tonight. I discovered last night that both of my lawn lights were dead, so today I bought two solar tiki torches which look like they were inspired by Gilligan’s Island.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Land for Peace (1991)”
  
• “WHO calls for improved air quality, says pollution kills 2 million people each year”
  
• “Fury at 'moral grounds' cop out”
  
• “Robot whiskers sense shapes and textures”
  
• “Quantum information teleported from light to matter”
  
• “Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer's - U.S. study”
  
• “Straw sparks Muslim veil row”
  
• “Happy snaps from a virus-infested chip”
  
• “Chicken flap upsets kosher world”
  
• “Bolivia's Morales, Saddam on U.S. no-fly list”
  
• “16 Probable Planets Found in Milky Way”
  
• “"Monster" fossil found in Jurassic graveyard”

Today’s weird thing is “Electronic Road Signs and Me”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Sukkoth.

Aaron

13 Tishri 5767 * 5 October 2006: The Rat Fan Club

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “New Barbie doll to raise breast cancer awareness” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “Hizballah Shuts Reoccupied S. Lebanese Bases to Lebanese and UN forces”
  
• “Condi Rice meets with terrorists..and the Bush Administration proves, once again that they're hypocrites on terrorism and `Arab democracy'”
  
• “Abbas hints at elections, Hamas arming”
  
• “Too good to be true?”
  
• “Former IDF ground commander: IDF role in Gaza surrender reason for unpreparedness in Lebanon”
  
• “Musical robot composes, performs and teaches”
  
• “Talking nonsense about religion”
  
• “Spoof site bans Ali G from UK synagogues”
  
• “How Yitzchak Rabin was murdered - what the government doesn't want you to know” and “Historical context for last night's post on Rabin”
  
• “Man recites pi to 100,000 places”
  
• “Hero with a shofar”

Today’s weird thing is Rat Fan Club, which I think Barry submitted. Enjoy, and share the weirdness with the rat you love.

Aaron

12 Tishri 5767 * 4 September 2006: National Golf Day

Greetings.

Sukkoth is coming! For information on the holiday, see the Temple Institute article “The Festival of Sukkot (Tabernacles)”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Condi in the Promised Land”. NOTE: There is too much going on in Israel for me to report it all. See “Recommended Reading” in the sidebar.
  
• “Where we are now”
  
• “Palestinian Authority Promises (1997)”
  
• “Frist: Taliban Should Be in Afghan Gov't” (What the gezornenblat is he thinking? Doesn’t he know Islamists and democracy do not mix?)
  
• “An Opera In the Key Of Denial”
  
• “A revolution in Jewish genealogy”

Today’s weird thing is SCIgen - An Automatic CS [computer science] Paper Generator. WARNING: This is for amusement only. Do not use this to cheat in computer science class! Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

11 Tishri 5767 * 3 October 2006: Sukkah-Building Day/National Computing Day

Greetings.

I just got my sukkah up. I still have to put up the decorations and move in the furniture, but the basic job is done.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Six Feet Blunder”
  
• “Yom Kippur Confession”

Today’s weird thing is RABBI SIMCHA, Author of UP UP AND OY VEY: Jewish Themes in Superman, Superheroes & other Comics, by the Comic Book Rabbi!. (I cannot make something like this up!) Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

9 Tishri 5767 * 1 October 2006: World Vegetarian Day

Greetings.

Note: Starting at sundown is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. There are a number of behaviors that are to be avoided because they are prohibited on Yom Kippur (arguably weird since they largely ought to be obvious) but which the uneducated often fail in:

• Driving to synagogue. This is a Biblical prohibition, while praying at synagogue is Rabbinic in origin and not even clearly an obligation. In case of conflict between the two, Biblical prohibitions always override Rabbinic obligations, so if you cannot walk to synagogue without risk to your health, do yourself a favor and stay home; it is pretty clear from the Hebrew Bible that YHWH cares about you and wants you to keep His/Her basic commandments (including not performing any mela’khoth on Yom Kippur) and does not want you to violate them in order to perform ritual niceties. (If this is true for sacrifices, which are Biblical commandments, how much more so must it be true for public prayer, which is Rabbinic!)
  
• Wearing leather shoes. Yom Kippur is a day of extreme holiness, during which it is as if we are standing before YHWH Him/Herself. Since under conditions of extreme holiness (e.g., in the Temple) one is not permitted to wear leather shoes, wearing leather shoes is prohibited on Yom Kippur, so make sure you wear (leather-free) sneakers or canvas shoes or something along those lines.
  
• Wearing jewelry or perfume. Yom Kippur is a day to get closer to YHWH. While showing respect to the King of Kings of Kings makes wearing something formal a good idea, jewelry and perfume are luxury items and are mainly to impress other humans and are thus too ostentatious for the occasion. Yom Kippur is a day of judgement, and while YHWH is a forgiving god, going into court with luxury items is a good way to advertise having the wrong set of priorities, which argues against one’s deserving of forgiveness. Not to mention that some people are sensitive to perfume; it is a bad idea to be needlessly annoying others when asking for forgiveness.
  
• Conversation during services. Yom Kippur is a day dedicated to repentance and forgiveness, an opportunity given to us by YHWH to get closer to Him/Her. However, YHWH gave humans only one mouth each, so if you are talking to the person next to you, you cannot be asking YHWH for forgiveness at the same time and are thus missing the point of the holiday. Plus, talking during services is annoying to those who are trying to pray, also missing the point of the holiday. If you must talk at all during services in any way, shape, or form that is not prayer or necessary for proper prayer, please, let it be to ask someone for forgiveness for some wrong. Remember, the ideal state of things that we want to reach is that all humanity should become one big, happy family with whom YHWH is happy; we are not going to reach this state by talking about sports.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Brigitte Gabriel”
  
• “Atomic Physics Predicts Successful Store Location”
  
• “See no evil, hear no evil”
  
• “Egypt must stop the smuggling”
  
• “Palestinian Jewish girl taken from Tulkarm”
  
• “lackmailers made up Marie-Antoinette naughtiness: academic” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “'Do not forget us when we grow old'” (This is worthy of attention, no matter which country you live in. Thinking along these lines alone is a good reason for going to synagogue and participating. Senior citizens get very happy to see the religion being practiced by younger people, thus making them feel their efforts are not in vain and raising their quality of life, perhaps even giving them motivation to try to live longer.)
  
• “A Homemade Genocide” (Read this, please. This is important!)
  
• “US blocks further sanctions against PA” (Huh? What the gezornenblat is Rice thinking?)

Today’s weird thing is Lifeboat Foundation: Safeguarding Humanity. May it be YHWH’s will that this organization’s efforts turn out never to be needed. Enjoy, and have an easy fast.

Aaron