Monday, July 9, 2012

Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue

Jewish date:  19 Tammuz 5772 (Parashath Pineḥas).

Greetings.

Today’s entry in the series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el is Ha‘Aṣma’uth (Independence) Avenue, which stretches from Loḥame hagGeṭṭa’oth where it meets Be’eri to Yonah Shpindel.  As in every installment, accuracy is constantly compromised for the sake of humor, so do not be surprised if you come to visit and find armored shoes to protect you against toe-eating monsters to be completely unnecessary.


Giv‘ath Shemu’el boasts a variety of unusual riding animals.  This is a blue double riding dog.

NOTE:  Goofy ents followed me down this street, so a lot of pictures ended up in shadow.

This is actually a gigantic riding flower, which attaches its pollen to the dizzy children who spin around on it.

A large yellow dog guarding its private slide.

Many Smurfs live on Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue.  During the Great Smurf Hunt, Smurfs went nearly extinct in their native Belgium.  This resulted in Papa Smurf cloning himself in a vain effort to keep the species going.  That village went extinct, because all those Smurfs, being genetically identical, were killed off by a single strain of Smurfpox they were equally susceptible to.  However, other Smurfs escaped to other worlds, and some ended up in Giv‘ath Shemu’el.  The colony is still thriving.

An artistic Smurf building.

A riding lion.

More Smurf houses, along with some irrigation tubes used to water young Smurfberry bushes.

Ha‘Aṣma’uth Avenue also has many giant snails and slugs.  These normally sleep during the day.  The ones that were awake took one look at me and curled up.  The snails withdrew completely into their shells, and the slugs really wished they had shells.

Outdoor furniture used by the giant snails and slugs.

“The Smurfs here aren’t on good terms with the snails and slugs.  The gastropods sometimes eat the Smurfberry bushes.  There were a bunch of them here yesterday.”

One of our painted electrical boxes.  The Intefe robot insists it is a painting of this street.  The Smurfs claim it is meant to represent Belgium.  The snails and slugs refused to give an opinion.

More giant slugs.

Some Intefe robots standing in the shade to cool off.

The ents were audibly giggling about ruining this shot.

More Smurf houses, these surrounded by more successful crops.

“I don’t know what those Smurfs did to their crops.  They tasted awful.”
“I don’t care.  I’m scared of the photographer.”

The last robot had too much to drink last night.

“Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he—”
“Why do I have to listen to this idiot?”

More Intefe robots, these ones practicing a chorus line for a musical.

“Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he gone yet?  Is he—”
“Why are you imitating an idiot slug?”


“I take offense at that comment!”

“Sh!  You’re giving us away!”

The final Smurf houses on the street.  The Smurfs living here are growing a date palm (see the shadow), because snails and slugs cannot climb up trees to get to the fruit.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron
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