Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Be’eri Street

Jewish date:  23 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath BeḤuqqothay).

Today’s events:  National Receptionists Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, Straw Hat Day, International Day of Families (UN observance), Nakba Day (anti-Semitic observance).

Greetings.

Yes, today is Nakba Day, a day on which anti-Semitic Arabs bemoan the fact that they attacked the newly-formed State of Israel in 1948 without any provocation and lost.  I am observing this event by finding it amazing that 64 years later, they still have not given up the delusion that they have any chance in winning the Arab-Israeli War.  To the contrary, the more time passes, the more their situation should get worse.  Sooner or later, human civilization will run out of petroleum, at least that which is economically worthwhile to get out of the ground.  This might not happen for decades, but unless petroleum is being created faster than we are using it (something which is highly doubtful), an end to the Age of Oil is inevitable.  At that point, who is really going to care about appeasing the Arabs?  I do not know what Earth will be like politically at that point, but I expect the Muslim World to be much worse off.

Today’s weird thing (other than bigots throwing a temper-tantrum), is the latest installment in your humble blogger’s series on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el:  Be’eri Street.  As in previous installments, all descriptions may be deliberately inaccurate for the purposes of entertainment.


One of the Intefe robots found on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el.  His/her name is Gzdfwety Nblj Nud 2708187244 Lena O¬Üs√ Ehwbepncyhl Yzafvkkw Gzdzbybpb Qqseizw Hvctbfzg Fjynqmgz Elv¬ÑUF[¬∂g S√ãO`Y}√ø  Seren Carstarphen (which sounds even stranger than it is spelled), but he/she prefers to be called Abe.  Abe claimed that he/she and quite a lot of other Intefe robots are studying at Bar ’Ilan University as part of an exchange program.  Abe is majoring in cardiovascular magicoeconomics.  I spent a while talking with Abe.  When I told him/her than Be’eri Street appeared rather lacking in weird things, he/she pointed out an unusual number of passages to other worlds.  People and things may occasionally come through the passages, thus leading to seeming inconsistencies in this series

This passage leads to an idealized version of America.  Notice the white picket fence someone brought back.

57 blocks away is a desert island inhabited by people unable to build a raft due to the incompetence of one of their number.  They also never manage to leave through the passage due to this screwup.

Two of Abe’s friends, O¬[¬¢¬àL and 64696092, stand at the entrance to a passage to a world inhabited by creatures from the works of the celebrated artist M. C. Escher.  Unfortunately they keep the curl-ups about 3,284,183 blocks away, so photographing them is not likely to happen soon.

At the end of this passage, three blocks away, is a two-dimensional world.  Being three-dimensional, I was too thick to get through the entrance crevice.  I also had to deal with cliché man-eating vines and might have been killed had not Abe zapped the vines with a laser pistol.

This passage wraps back to the start of Be’eri Street.  The spacetime engineer who created it has a strange sense of humor, since it plus Be’eri Street are wrapped around through hyperspace in something resembling a Möbius strip.  Anyone walking through this passage finds him/herself mirror-reversed.  This makes reading much harder, not to mention that everything looks subtly wrong.  Happily, one can become correctly reoriented with respect to the rest of our universe by walking down this passageway again.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron
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