Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Authorized guest post by Sour Cream: HatTamar Street

Hello.  My name is Sour Cream, and I’m a polar bear superhero.  I work with Kenneth “Batbear” Wayne.  In the last installment, Batbear, ’Aharon, and I had been knocked out by the evil alien Beepbeepbeep on HatTomer Street, and when we came to, we were on HatTamar (Date/Date Palm) Street.

Note that the pictures are right side up.  ’Aharon hasn’t mastered upside-down photography yet.  He took the pictures afterwards.

We were hanging upside-down from some date palms, and Beepbeepbeep was laughing her vocal apparatus out.  Her pet something-or-other Salle was calibrating a piece of machinery.

“Prepare to meet your doom, silly Earthlings!” said Beepbeepbeep.

“What are you going to do?” asked Batbear.  “Every week someone tries feeding me and Sour Cream into a diabolical death machine.  That never works.  I was Harry Houdini in a previous life.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” exclaimed Beepbeepbeep.  “We read all the Batbear comic books, and we don’t plan on copying the mistakes of such minor villains as Dijon Demonspawn, Brandy Bloodsucker, and the quartet of Conspirators-R-Us.  Instead of dropping you into a death machine, we’re bringing mechanical death to you.”  And then she laughed maniacally.

“Everything’s ready, Beepbeepbeep!” said Salle.  “Can I turn it on now?  Please please please!”

“Of course,” said Beepbeepbeep.

And so Salle turned the machine on.

Suddenly every Intefe robot in Giv‘ath Shemu’el came creeping.

“When the Intefe started making sentient robots, they feared a revolution,” began Beepbeepbeep.

“Isn’t that a cliché from science-fiction stories?” asked ’Aharon.

“Shut up, foofoohead!” snapped Beepbeepbeep.  “Cliché or not, the Intefe put in a failsafe override code so the little twerps could be shut down in case of an emergency.  And Salle here took advantage of the mechanism to turn Intefe robots into zombie slaves.

“BRAINS!” called out all the Intefe robots at once.

“Of course,” added Beepbeepbeep, “they’re programmed only to attack Earthlings.”

“You forgot one thing, Beepbeepbeep,” said Batbear.

“What’s that?” asked Beepbeepbeep.

“I just managed to reach one of the utility pockets in my cape and activate my plant caller.”

“Hah!” spat Beepbeepbeep.  “There’s no such thing as a plant caller.”

Little did Beepbeepbeep realize that Israel is Earth’s leader in breeding vicious attack house plants, such as these.  And suddenly a whole bunch of vicious attack house plants came running and started fighting with the Intefe robots.

Some the robots got forced up these steps or tripped in the process.

Some got forced all the way to the other end of the street.

Some of the robots got jumped on by more plants from above.

By this time, Batbear got loose and landed by this Pac-Man bait.

Batbear smashed the machine used to control the Intefe robots, and the robots started fighting off Salle and Beepbeepbeep.

Thus the day was saved, and Batbear got me and ’Aharon down from the trees.

Sadly Beepbeepbeep and Salle broke into this van (the text reads “Ashram in the desert”) and made a getaway.  (’Aharon photographed the van after they abandoned it.)  But Batbear and I remained on the case, seeking to brink Beepbeepbeep and Salle to justice.

What happens next?  Tune in next time on Weird thing of the day!
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