Wednesday, March 15, 2006

15 'Adhar 5766 * 15 March 2006: Pure Shushan/Ides of March/Brutus Day

Greetings.

Pure Shushan is the day I get to use to do stuff I did not manage to do due to the Fast of ’Esther or Purim. And the first word of the name is a Hebrew construct-case plural noun, not an English adjective. The name is usually rendered in an order sensible for English grammar, as “Shushan Purim”, but I’m in a Hebraic-purist mood.

Relevant to the Ides of March/Brutus Day: “Julius Cæsar”.

Today’s news:Today’s weird thing is “Star Trek tricorder ready for beam up”. (I cannot make something like this up.) Enjoy.

Aaron

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Worthy cause of the day: President Bush Must be Censured for Breaking the Law

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is the MoveOn.org petition “President Bush Must be Censured for Breaking the Law”. Please sign and make it known to your congresspeople that illegal wiretapping without probable cause or oversight is not acceptable behavior. If there is enough of an outcry, maybe the people in Congress will think twice about letting Bush off the hook. Thanks in advance.

Aaron

14 'Adhar 5766 * 16 March 2006: Purim/Pi Day/National Potato Chip Day

Greetings.

In honor of today’s holiday (Purim, not Pi Day or National Potato Chip Day), I feel like sermonizing, which, since this is my blog and can thus do anything I want, I will.

This is something I came up with in 1998 on the Book of ’Esther:

Why did Haman bother rolling lots to determine when to destroy the Jews? Why bother waiting? One notable thing has occurred to me: God determines the roll of the dice. (He/She did create the laws of physics, which more directly determine the outcome.) Haman may have been trying to push the responsibility of his genocidal plan onto God.

The scenario that I have devised is this: Haman wanted to kill Mordokhay and his people (apparently even wanting to outdo gangsters in not only killing the defier and his/her family, but his/her whole people as well). However, to do so he needed a rationalization. So he used Puritan reasoning and said to himself, “If Mordokhay is right, then his god will create a outright miracle to save him and his people, and I will have not harmed innocent people and will not be guilty of anything. On the other hand, if I am right, Mordokhay and his people must be guilty of some horrendous crime and I am perfectly justified in destroying them, for otherwise my god would not allow me to do so.” However, God does not do outright miracles on a regular basis, certainly not for non-prophets, and never just because a loony assumes He/She will. Therefore God resorted to His/Her usual behind-the-scenes approach. The Jews were saved by an alternative which Haman had not considered, that is, outwardly natural means. Furthermore, Haman had not expected that he would be personally affected no matter which alternative happened, but he had no idea that God had arranged that the Queen just happen to be of the same nation as Mordokhay, a situation which naturally lent itself to blowing up in Haman’s face. Thus were some of the assumptions underpinning Haman’s rationalization shown to be incorrect.

Aaron

Sunday, March 12, 2006

12 'Adhar 5766 * 12 March 2006: "Exercising the brain"

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron



Exercising the brain is as important as exercising the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain. So below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So, take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."

OK, relax, clear your mind and... begin... Don't peek at the answers...



1. What do you put in a toaster?
















The correct answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something less strenuous. Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.








2. Say "silk" five times.
Now, spell "silk."

What do cows drink?

















The correct answer is "water". If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as "Goodnight Moon".

If you said "water", then proceed to Question 3.
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3. If a red house is made from red bricks
and a blue house is made from blue bricks
and a pink house is made from pink bricks

what is a greenhouse made from?












The correct answer is "glass". If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?????

If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.
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4. It's 20 years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany.
(At that time, Germany was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, all engines fail and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors: East Germany, West Germany, or "no-man's land"?












The correct answer is "You don't bury survivors." If you said ANYTHING else, you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to Question 5.
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5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute, then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?












The correct answer is "one degree". If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the
room.

Everyone else proceed to the final question.
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6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 get on. In Carmarthen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?












Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was you—I said you were driving the bus! :-) Now, pass this on to everyone you know and see if they do better.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Thursday, March 9, 2006

9 'Adhar 5766 * 9 March 2006: Unique Names Day

Greetings.

Today I’m cleaning out a lot of the backlog of things for me to post. I would have posted a lot of them yesterday, but I have come down with bronchitis, and that largely screwed up my schedule yesterday.Enjoy or be scared or something, and please consider signing the petitions.

Aaron

9 'Adhar 5766 * 9 March 2006: Unique Names Day

Greetings.

Today I’m cleaning out a lot of the backlog of things for me to post. I would have posted a lot of them yesterday, but I have come down with bronchitis, and that largely screwed up my schedule yesterday.Enjoy or be scared or something, and please consider signing the petitions.

Aaron

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

8 'Adhar 5766 * 8 March 2006: Farmer's Day

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is the Buy Bush a PlayStation 2 Petition. Please sign and give Bush something better to do than get our soldiers killed pointlessly. Thank you, and enjoy.

Aaron

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Other worthy cause of the day: "Veto the Bush budget"

Greetings.

I am pleased to present a second worthy cause of the day (this one submitted by Barry): the petition “Veto the Bush Budget”. Please sign and give Bush the message that kicking the poor when they’re down is not acceptable in this country. Thank you.

Note: I am willing to post multiple worthy causes of the day, so feel free to send me lots of them to post.

Aaron

Worthy cause of the day: Be a Citizen Co-Sponsor of the Roadless Area Conservation Act

Greetings.

Please be a citizen co-sponsor of the 2006 Roadless Area Conservation Act and help save our forests. Thank you.

Aaron

7 'Adhar 5766 * 7 March 2006: Anniversary of Mosheh's Death/Namesake Day

Greetings.

Today’s news:Today’s weird thing is “Warning! Financial responsibility can lead to terrorism”, which is sufficiently bizarre to make one wonder what Bush and company are thinking. Enjoy.

Aaron

Sunday, March 5, 2006

5 'Adhar 5766 * 5 March 2006: "McDonald's changes sign to woo kosher diners"

Greetings.

I’m cutting my losses and trashing most of the backlog. Please check the news for the nuttiness going on in American, Israeli, and Stateless Arab politics; there is plenty of dastardly stuff going on to last me for a month. The one item you are getting as today’s weird thing is “McDonald's changes sign to woo kosher diners”. Enjoy.

Aaron

Friday, March 3, 2006

3 'Adhar 5766 * 3 March 2006: What if Cats and Dogs has opposable Thumbs day

Greetings.

I have way too many things accumulated for potential inclusion in the blog, and I really don’t feel like posting them all. Therefore today’s weird thing is the Jedi census phenomenon, which is what I feel like posting. You may get other accumulated stuff on Sunday if I feel like it. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, March 2, 2006

2 'Adhar 5766 * 2 Februrary 2006: "Video Shows Bush Warned Before Katrina Hit"

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is George W. Bush’s reaction to Hurricane Katrina. Bush was caught on tape before the storm hit, being told of the possible disasters; he lied later for his lack of preparedness, claiming he had not been forewarned. You can read all about it in “Video Shows Bush Warned Before Katrina Hit” and “Bush Administration Warned of Katrina Destruction, AP Reports”. None of this should be surprising, considering that this is the same man who decided to invade Iraq and lied about why he wanted to do it. Be scared, and think about writing whoever represents you in Congress about having Bush impeached.

Aaron