This is an open letter to everyone sending me implausible unsolicited job offers. If a job offer is sent for any kind of position for which I do not have the background, e.g., being an accountant or salesman, I am not interested. If the job offer requires me to transfer money in any way, shape, or form, I am not interested. If the alleged sender’s name sounds at best improbable, I am not interested. If the alleged sender’s name bears no obvious relation to his or her E-mail address, I am not interested. If the job offer was allegedly sent from a free E-mail server (e.g., Hotmail) rather than a company’s private E-mail server, I am not interested. If I am supposed to reply to an address other than that the offer was allegedly sent from—especially when neither address is on a private E-mail server—I am not interested. If the job offer is written in bad English or has any suspiciously bad punctuation, I am not interested. If the job offer is in a boring sans serif or monospaced font, I am not interested.
And if any spambot writers out there are reading this, stop foisting this garbage on the rest of us, please. We are not stupid enough to fall for such obvious fakes, and we have better things to do with our bandwidth and clock cycles. And if you must send us spam, then at least have the decency to impress us by making it look genuine; we would still hate you, but at least we would not think you take us for a bunch of idiots.
Thank you for your attention and letting me get this out of my system.