Uranus, Neptune, and The Matrix Transposed

Image of אורון via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  14 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayḥi).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Day 6 of Kwanzaa

Worthy cause of the day:  “Support Clinical Trials: A Vital Lifeline for Cancer Patients! - The Petition Site”.

Image of רהב via Wikipedia

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Uranus and Neptune finally get Hebrew names”:  I have no idea what was wrong with the transliterations אורנוס and נפטון.  The question is whether anyone is going to use אורון and רהב.
  

Today’s weird thing is Plot-o-matic (tm) movie plot generator, which has you fill in some basic information and creates a plot outline for you.  This is what it generated for me:

The Matrix Transposed

an original screenplay concept

by Aaron Solomon Adelman

Science Fiction: A pimply computer nerd teams up with a plug ugly dog to save the earth from aliens. In the process they fall in love with his partner. By the end of the movie they beat up 47 cars and end up winning the admiration of their co-workers, living happily ever after. Think Die Hard meets eXistenZ.

As you can see, this could be very useful for anyone writing a story.  Especially if they do not care if it makes any sense.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of impossible interviews

Greetings.

Jewish date:  13 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayḥi).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Oh My! Day, Day 5 of Kwanzaa, National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day, Global Family Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Iran in 2010”
  Image of Matisyahu via Wikipedia
  
• “Gingko Doesn't Slow Cognitive Decline in Elderly”

Today’s weird thing is “One on One With Matisyahu”, in which Ḥasidhic reggae star Matisyahu is interviewed by… Matisyahu.

And, no, I did not invent the idea of Ḥasidhic reggae.  Really.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Spot

Greetings.

Jewish date:  12 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayḥi).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Tick Tock Day, Day 4 of Kwanzaa.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Save America's Fisheries - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Alternate-Reality Decade”
  
• “Virtual Reality Games (1994)”
  
• “Extinct ibex is resurrected by cloning”:  This had to happen sooner or later.  We ought to be seeing more of this eventually.

Today’s weird thing is “No, Spot, you may not “has”.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and live long and prosper.

Aaron

Beware of people selling Higgs bosons on eBay

Greetings.

Kwanzaa image via Wikipedia; now stop bugging me, Malcolm NC-17

Jewish date:  11 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayḥi).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Pledge of Allegiance Day, Day 3 of Kwanzaa, Card Playing Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Tell Obama: Stop the Violence in Sudan - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Supersonic bathtub physics: what happens when discs are pushed through water?”
  
• “Science denial is on the rise”
  
• “2009’s Top 5 Threats To Science In Medicine”
  
• ““Toxins”: the new evil humours”
• “Is Sherlock Holmes the Last Superhero Movie of 2009”
  

Today’s weird thing is “Get your mass handed to you”, which deals with an attempt to sell a Higgs boson on eBay.  Higgs bosons are theoretical particles which create the phenomenon of mass, and as such they should be very abundant.  How the seller in the auction intends to deliver is beyond me.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of crazy alarm clocks

Greetings.

Jewish date:  8 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  National Pumpkin Pie Day.

NOTE:  There will be no weird thing on Sunday because it is a fast day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Quiz”
  
• “Gaza Humanitarian Aid: By the Numbers”

Image of a non-crazy alarm clock via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Crazy Alarm Clock Dials Your Friends If You Don't Wake Up”.  You might
consider this a kind of social pressure to get up in the morning.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of preserved snowflakes

Greetings.

Jewish date:  7 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  National Eggnog Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “action.firedoglake.com | Kill the Senate Bill - Sign our Petition”.  Also:  I gave platelets today.  Please consider donating blood or blood components if you can and save someone’s life.  Thank you.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Jailbreak fugitive updates Facebook page”:  (Submitted by Barry.)  I do not pretend to know what the escapee is thinking.
  
• “Holey rollers”
  
• “Climate Change: A Consensus Among Scientists?”:  Just some graphs to put things in perspective.

Today’s weird thing (because I feel like it) is Snowflakes and Snow Crystals, which has lots of pretty pictures of snowflakes and instructions on how to preserve snowflakes after a fashion.  Enjoy and share the coolness.

Aaron

Beware of electronic cubes

Greetings.

Jewish date:  6 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  Festivus.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Libel reform campaign petition statement”, “We Need A Hero | Progressive Change Campaign Committee”, “MoveOn.org Political Action: Sign the petition”, and “Stop New Mining Near the Grand Canyon - The Petition Site”.

Image of Festivus, including the aluminum Festivus pole, via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is Rubik's Touchcube, which is an electronic version of Rubik’s Cube.  This strikes
me as pointless, given that the original Cube worked just fine without batteries and glowing lights.  My brother Barry acquired one cheap recently, and he complains that only the top slice can be turned, and furthermore, unlike the original Cube, this one can freeze up.  (Those familiar with Festivus can chalk me mentioning this up to “airing of grievances”.  Solving the Touchcube may be considered a “feat of strength”.)  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Festivus.

Aaron

Beware of squishy icons

Greetings.

Jewish date:  5 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Alliance for Climate Protection | Hold big polluters accountable” and “Cut Global Warming Pollution from Big Emitters - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Vaccination group investigation”:  FINALLY!  Someone is finally trying to hold antivaccinationists accountable for spreading misinformation, causing parents to not get their children vaccinated, resulting in needless suffering and death.
  
• “Bird-like dinosaur used venom to subdue prey”

Image of the inspiring operating system with the inspiring Dock at the bottom via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is the Throwboy Icon Pillow Collection, which is perfect for people who are huge fans of the Mac OS X Dock.  Or for people who are frustrated with their Macintosh and want something to throw or beat up that will not result in a thousand-dollar repair bill.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of LOL Snow Leopard

Greetings.

Jewish date:  4 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  Humbug Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Put Wall Street to Work Rebuilding Main Street! - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Submersible glider spent months collecting data on Atlantic waters”
  
• “Measles”
  
• “Topsfield, 54 Miles South of Pluto: the Solar System in Maine”

Not long ago I conceived of the idea of making a LOLcat version of the Mac OS X 10.6 mascot snow leopard.  However, I was beaten to it.  Today’s weird things are other people’s attempts at this, both pro- and anti-Mac OS X 10.6:

• “MacMost – LOL Snow Leopard”
• “Snow Leopard as lolcat on Flickr - Photo Sharing!”
• “Snow LOLcat: All your system are belong to us on Flickr - Photo Sharing!”
• “NEWS-big_image-trio.jpg 527×330 pixels”
• And not strictly speaking a LOL snow leopard:  “hax0r kitteh attemptz laptop hackintosh by evilcartman”
  

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

ARGH!

Greetings.

Those who get this blog via E-mail will realize quickly that they did not get the URL for the site with the Gilbert and Sullivan operas.  You can find it here.  Sorry about the mix-up.

Aaron

Beware of Gilbert and Sullivan

Greetings.

Jewish date:  3 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath Wayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Cathode-Ray Tube Day, Games Day, International Human Solidarity Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “MoveOn.org Political Action: Block the bill until it's fixed”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Titan lake shines in sunlight”
  
• “Quick Mac troubleshooting list” and “10 Security and Privacy Tips”:  Things my fellow Mac users ought to know so that I get asked fewer questions.
• “Studio Moves After 'Panic Attack'” and “YouTube video leads to Hollywood contract”, which speak about “YouTube - Ataque de Pánico! (Panic Attack!) 2009”
  

Image of Gilbert via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is an Italian site with four Gilbert and Sullivan operas as audio files:  H.M.S. Pinafore, The Mikado, The Pirates of Penzance, and Trial by Jury.  Gilbert and Sullivan are well known for creating enjoyably weird operas, and I am honored to help bring these operas to my readers.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of strange laws

Greetings.

Jewish date:  1 Ṭeveth 5770 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Bake Cookies Day, International Migrants Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Take Action: Protect Utah's Red Rock Country”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Physics of Space Battles”

Today’s weird thing is “State Law Fail”, which is probably someone’s idea of a joke.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, happy Ḥanukkah, happy new month, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Beware of abstraction

Greetings.

Jewish date:  30 Kislew 5770 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Worthy causes of the day:  “School Lunch Meat Gets an 'F'”, “Obama: Don't Waver in Your Demand for a Public Option - The Petition Site”, and “Save BioGems: Take Action: Save Polar Bears”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Mercury Fillings Seem Safer over Time”
  
• “Bugs Inside: What Happens When the Microbes That Keep Us Healthy Disappear?”
  
• Pocket Lint:  Not news or commentary, but an interesting idea for a computer program relevant to today’s lousy economy.

Today’s weird thing is “Abstraction”.

This is actually an accurate description of the sort of stuff that goes on in modern computers.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Beware of octopuses bearing coconut halves

Greetings.

Jewish date:  29 Kislew 5770 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Barbie and Barney Backlash Day, National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “WakeUpWalMart.com - Hope for the Holidays 2009”.

NOTE:  I took a lot of flack yesterday over my comments on Esperanto from Esperanto enthusiasts.  If any Esperanto enthusiasts want to submit something on what is wrong with Hebrew, equivalent to what I posted on Esperanto, I will give it serious consideration.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Congress: Would you please turn that TV ad down!”:  Finally, Congress is considering doing something about all those noisy television advertisements!
  
• “Crowd Forcing: Random Movement of Bacteria Drives Gears”:  I cannot make something like this up.
  
• “U.S. Drinking Water Widely Contaminated”:  I really wish this was made up.
  
• “No Holds Barred: Why men cheat”

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “A tool-wielding octopus? This invertebrate builds armor from coconut halves”.  I never expected octopuses to do that, which goes to show how full of surprises reality is.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

“Learn Not To Speak Esperanto”

Greetings.

Jewish date:  28 Kislew 5770 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Cat Herders Day, National Lemon Cupcake Day, Esperanto Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Stop Birth Defects and Cancer From Environmental Pollution - The Petition Site”.

In honor(?) of Esperanto Day, today’s weird thing is “Learn Not To Speak Esperanto”, which deals with everything wrong with Esperanto, Earth’s most popular artificial language.  Esperanto was intended as an universal language, but so far it only has about a million speakers, mostly idealists and science-fiction authors who cannot be bothered to learn or invent a better language.  Esperanto has also been criticized for everything from its choice of vocabulary to its grammar to implied sexism.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and invest your language-learning effort and time in Hebrew, which is 50,000 times cooler than Esperanto and has the unbeatable boast of being the native language of the Hebrew Bible.

Aaron

Build your own book scanner CHEAP!

Image which Zemata mistakenly thought was relevant via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  27 Kislew 5770 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  National Children’s Memorial Day and Worldwide Candle Lighting.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Lebanese Army”
  
• “Monsanto seed business role revealed”:  There is something seedy going on in the seed business!  (Article submitted by Barry, whom you can blame indirectly for the pun.)

Today’s weird thing is “DIY Book Scanners Turn Your Books Into Bytes”.  This is an increasingly computerized world, and it comes in handy to be able to make electronic copies of one’s paper books.  The really cool part is when someone figures out how to make a device to do it himself inexpensively.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

What would Möbius eat for breakfast?

Image of an ordinarily sliced bagel with cream cheese via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  24 Kislew 5770.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Hackergate is Bogus: The Climate Crisis is Real - The Petition Site”, “Take Action: Help restore peace and health to our national forests”, “MoveOn.org Political Action: Stop the gift to Big Insurance”, and “Create a Generation Free of HIV - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Negotiations (1973)”
  
• “Rotating house puts family in a spin”

Today’s weird thing is “Mathematically Correct Breakfast -- Mobius Sliced Linked Bagel”.  This is a way to cut a bagel into two interlocked rings and still be able to put cream cheese on it.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Beware of mad robots

Image which Zemata thought was somehow relevant by Getty Images via Daylife

Greetings.

Jewish date:  24 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Tell Walmart: Post Seafood Warnings! - The Petition Site”, “DemocracyForAmerica.com » Enough is Enough”, “ONE | Copenhagen:  STOP DANGEROUS DOUBLE COUNTING”, “Take Action: Stop Sudan's Arms Flow | Save Darfur”, “Tell Reid and Obama: Stop begging and start breaking arms to get real health reform.”, “Don't Wait for Copenhagen” and “Take Action | Oceana North America:  Help Stop Ocean Acidification”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Newly Discovered T. Rex Relative Fleshes Out Early Dino Evolution”

Today’s weird thing is the Random Story Generator, which generates a brief outline for a Christian speculative novel.  Here is an example of its work:

This is a time travel story about a foreigner (or alien) who wants to find his or her family but is prevented from doing so by robots gone mad bent on silencing opposition to a dastardly plan. God has designs on our hero, however. He wants to teach him/her that He is a God of hope, a lesson he/she resists. In the end, through our hero's negligence and the intervention of snails, the allies cement their bond through a treaty.

This is better than at least 50% of the films they make fun of on Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, Shabbath shalom, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Beware of ninjas

Greetings.

Image which Zemata thought was relevant for no apparent reason via Wikipedia

Jewish date:  23 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  Human Rights Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “MoveOn.org Political Action: Reform MUST include a public option”, “Petition: We Need Progressive Senators To Fight | Progressive Change Campaign Committee”, and “The failure to establish a public option is President Obama's failure alone.  Sign our petition to President Obama fight for what he said he believed in.”

Today’s news and commentary:

• Relevant to today’s quasi-holiday:  “Not much to celebrate on Human Rights Day”

Today’s weird thing is the Bacteria Assassin Ninja Toothbrush Sanitizer, a unique way to assassinate toothbrush bacteria.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Gila monsters

Greetings.

Jewish date:  22 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  The International Day Against Corruption.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Friends of the Earth U.S.:  Breaking from Copenhagen: U.S. colludes in plot to shunt poor country demands”, “AARP - Health Action Now!:  Tell the Senate- Close the Doughnut Hole!”, “Enact Health Care Reform Based on These 7 Guiding Principles - The Petition Site”,  and “Tell the Senate Democratic Caucus: Don't give up on the public option,”

Today’s news and commentary:

• “A Question”
  
• “Israeli Demonstrations (1999)”

Yesterday I found out that they were starting to put episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the famous comedy show in which they made fun of bad movies, up on Hulu.  In celebration, today’s weird thing is the Mystery Science Theater 3000 attack on The Giant Gila Monster.  The Gila monster is the best actor in this film, strangely enough.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and bask in the glow of Joel, Crow, and Tom wisecracking about the sheer badness, which is 5,000% more fun than the badness of Religulous.

Aaron

Who’s teaching your kids at Hogwarts?

Greetings.

Jewish date:  21 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Worthy causes of the day:  “Save BioGems: Take Action: Protect the Redrock Wilderness” and ONE | A Global Gift“”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers”:  I don’t make up stuff like this.
• “Climate Change Deniers vs The Consensus”

Today’s weird thing is “Probability of people solving mysteries in Harry Potter”.

You know, this graph raises some interesting questions about the Harry Potter series.  A lot of the teachers at Hogwarts are quirky, but they are not all incompetent...

Aaron

Beware of musical iPhones

Greetings.

Jewish date:  20 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Pearl Harbor Day, International Civil Aviation Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Support a Smarter Energy Grid - The Petition Site”.  I would also like to note that I donated platelets yesterday.  The American Red Cross always can use blood and blood components, so please donate if you can.  Remember:  donating blood is an easy way to save human lives without having to risk getting shot or run into a burning building.  Be a hero and give blood.

Image of non-musical iPhones via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Student Orchestra Performs Music With iPhones”, which is an interesting concept of what to do with a cell phone besides the obvious making phone calls.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of critics

Image which Zemata thought was relevant somehow via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  19 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  National Gazpacho Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Divided We Fail:  Real people, real stories”, “Senate: Don't Compromise on Public Option! - The Petition Site”, and “DemocracyForAmerica.com » Enough is Enough”.

Today’s weird thing is It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie, which features reviews of cinematic disasters.  If the site-master’s reviews are not enough, there are also 24 pages of reader-submitted reviews.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Batman

Greetings.

Jewish date:  17 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyishlaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Wear Brown Shoes Day, National Dice Day.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Petition For Jewish Rights In Jerusalem And Judea & Samaria” and “MoveOn.org Political Action: Senator Reid: We're Counting on You”.


Today’s news and commentary:

• “Falling Into Place”
• “Cancer Cells?: Brain Tumor Numbers Steady Despite Increased Mobile Phone Use”:  Completely unsurprising except to technophobes.
• “Snap-happy Vienna orangutan opens Facebook gallery”:  When they tell you everyone’s on Facebook these days, believe it.

Today’s weird thing is “What people know of the Batman franchise”.



Apparently we will never get that silly theme song out of our heads.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Did Al Capone invent this?

Greetings.

Jewish date:  16 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayishlaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  International Day of Disabled Persons.

Today’s weird thing is the Knuckle Duster Corkscrew, which looks like something a mob boss invented.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

The Matrix parodied

Greetings.

Jewish date:  15 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyishlaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  International Day for the Abolition of Slavery, Special Education Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Seven Answers to Climate Contrarian Nonsense”
• “Lucky Coyote”

Given that on Divine Misconceptions today I am reviewing The Matrix Trilogy, today’s weird thing is a list of hypothetical Matrix movies that I wrote a while back, included below.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

---

Image of the setting of The Matrix Transposed via Wikipedia

• Matrix Algebra:  Morpheus tries to teach Neo higher mathematics.
• Matrix Theory:  Morpheus tries to explain to Neo the logic behind the universe he lives in and why biological pyramid schemes cannot actually work.
• Matrix Addition:  Neo gets a new, annoying sidekick.
• Matrix Subtraction:  Morpheus dies stupidly.
• Matrix Multiplication:  Someone is crazy enough to make even more Matrix movies.
• The Matrix Inverted:  To their horror, Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus find themselves in a movie where they’re written as villains and the Machines are the heroes.
• The Matrix Transposed:  Due to a thousand-year bug in the Matrix’s software, all of the characters in the Matrix series find themselves in a more plausible setting:  Sesame Street.  All of the characters have to work with the rules of the Sesame Street universe.

Despair, all you who read this post!

Greetings.

Jewish date:  14 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyishlaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  World AIDS Day, Day Without Art.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Save Africa's Great Cats and Rare Canids - The Petition Site” and “Tell Harry Reid: Don't let them filibuster the public option.”  Also, please note this interesting publicity video:  “YouTube - Pink Gloves Dance to Jay Sean's Down for Breast Cancer Awareness”.

Today’s weird thing is the Despair, Inc. 2010 Custom Calendar, available straight from Despair, Inc..  This is the perfect gift for anyone wishing or needing to be demotivated for a whole year.  I will not try to explain this; Despair, Inc.’s demotivational posters do a marvelous job of showing what they are trying to accomplish.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron