Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Matrix parodied


Jewish date:  15 Kislew 5770 (Parashath Wayyishlaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  International Day for the Abolition of Slavery, Special Education Day.

Today’s news and commentary:
Given that on Divine Misconceptions today I am reviewing The Matrix Trilogy, today’s weird thing is a list of hypothetical Matrix movies that I wrote a while back, included below.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.


Sesame Street title card since 2007, taken fro...Image of the setting of The Matrix Transposed via Wikipedia
  • Matrix Algebra:  Morpheus tries to teach Neo higher mathematics.
  • Matrix Theory:  Morpheus tries to explain to Neo the logic behind the universe he lives in and why biological pyramid schemes cannot actually work.
  • Matrix Addition:  Neo gets a new, annoying sidekick.
  • Matrix Subtraction:  Morpheus dies stupidly.
  • Matrix Multiplication:  Someone is crazy enough to make even more Matrix movies.
  • The Matrix Inverted:  To their horror, Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus find themselves in a movie where they’re written as villains and the Machines are the heroes.
  • The Matrix Transposed:  Due to a thousand-year bug in the Matrix’s software, all of the characters in the Matrix series find themselves in a more plausible setting:  Sesame Street.  All of the characters have to work with the rules of the Sesame Street universe.

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