’Avraham Boni Avenue

Jewish date:  28 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath BeMidhbar).

Today’s events:  Clinical Trials Day, Emancipation Day (Florida).

Greetings.

Today in our series on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el we cover ’Avraham Boni Avenue.  As before, any and all descriptions of the pictures may be inaccurate and may not be used against me in a court of law.

This is another street paved with bricks rather than asphalt, primarily due to the political influence of asphalt-hating demons living in one of the apartment buildings.

Notice these round patterns in the pavement.  Demons have long-standing rivalries with many alien species, and when aliens started making crop circles, demons decided they had to one-up the aliens.

Abe, my Intefe robot informant, hiding among the foliage after the demons threatened to send toddlers to his/her dorm room to throw temper tantrums.

This is the entrance to the secret underground lair of supervillain Jason Tarter, otherwise knows as Cruise Ships World Man.  It would be too dangerous to say more that that other than you should stay away from it at all costs.

The playground on ’Avraham Boni Avenue.

A green horse and yellow dog at the playground.  The horse’s color is due to eating too much broccoli.

A secret passage which Abe says goes to Narnia, the yellow dog says goes to Dune, and the green horse says goes to Cleveland.  All agree that whatever is on the other side is only five centimeters beyond a bend in the road, but I am violently allergic to sandworms, so I would rather not risk it.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Menaḥem Beghin Avenue

Jewish date:  26 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s event:  International Museum Day.

Greetings.

Today’s street of interest in my series on Giv‘ath Shemu’el is Menaḥem Beghin Avenue.  As before, descriptions may be deliberately inaccurate for entertainment purposes and should not be taken too seriously.

Notice the scarf.  This is a well-dressed recycling bin.

A gang of Intefe robots standing around outside of a building.

The owner of the tree on the left, deciding it deserved publicity, gave it its own spotlight.

A very young Intefe robot standing next to a robothole cover.

A traffic circle where the architect has provided running water.  (In a country as arid as Israel, please do not ask me to explain that.)

Giv‘ath Shemu’el boasts a population of multicolored tortoises.

And enormous beetles.

And enormous snails, though these are usually only active during the rainy season.

Another tortoise.

Another beetle.  Many of these unusual creatures frequent Giv‘ath Shemu’el’s playgrounds.

I think these are giant burrowing snakes, but I am not sure about it.

Another fancy traffic circle.

Two Intefe robots standing out by the curb.

Yet another traffic circle.  (Menaḥem Beghin is a long street.)

Two small cypress trees near the local mall.

Electrical box art featuring one of those cypress trees and some buildings by the sea.  I think.

A silicon-based life-form known as a Baz.  This one is in a rotten mood and tried to chase me after I took his/her picture.

A mysterious passage to the Bazes’ home planet.  The Baz went down this passage after it decided it had no chance of catching me.

Yet another traffic circle.

An empty lot next to the local mall, in which people commonly burn things on ‘Erev Pesaḥ (Passover Eve) and Lagh ba‘Omer.

A young Intefe robot wearing a hat.

A cyborgized tree.  The cables actually glow in the dark.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Ḥayyim Bar Lev

Jewish date:  24 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath BeḤuqqothay).

Today’s events:  Mary McLeod Bethune Week.

Greetings.

Continuing my series on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el, we look at Ḥayyim bar Lev.  As before, the description may be deliberately inaccurate for entertainment purposes.

Yes, that’s it.  Ḥayyim Bar Lev is on the official map of Giv‘ath Shemu’el, but only as a planned street reaching from the junction of HazZethim Street and HanNasi’ Street to Yisḥaq Rabbin Road, the highway one needs to take to travel to Pethaḥ Tiqwah.  So far no one has gotten around to building it yet. My apologies that it does not look particularly interesting.  Construction of Ḥayyim Bar Lev has been delayed due to ninjas hiding out in the tall weeds.  Ninjas are masters of not being seen, and they tend to disassemble any construction equipment which gets too close without getting caught.  Until the police manage to get rid of the ninjas, we will have to take a longer route to get to Pethaḥ Tiqwah.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Be’eri Street

Jewish date:  23 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath BeḤuqqothay).

Today’s events:  National Receptionists Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, Straw Hat Day, International Day of Families (UN observance), Nakba Day (anti-Semitic observance).

Greetings.

Yes, today is Nakba Day, a day on which anti-Semitic Arabs bemoan the fact that they attacked the newly-formed State of Israel in 1948 without any provocation and lost.  I am observing this event by finding it amazing that 64 years later, they still have not given up the delusion that they have any chance in winning the Arab-Israeli War.  To the contrary, the more time passes, the more their situation should get worse.  Sooner or later, human civilization will run out of petroleum, at least that which is economically worthwhile to get out of the ground.  This might not happen for decades, but unless petroleum is being created faster than we are using it (something which is highly doubtful), an end to the Age of Oil is inevitable.  At that point, who is really going to care about appeasing the Arabs?  I do not know what Earth will be like politically at that point, but I expect the Muslim World to be much worse off.

Today’s weird thing (other than bigots throwing a temper-tantrum), is the latest installment in your humble blogger’s series on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el:  Be’eri Street.  As in previous installments, all descriptions may be deliberately inaccurate for the purposes of entertainment.

One of the Intefe robots found on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el.  His/her name is Gzdfwety Nblj Nud 2708187244 Lena O¬Üs√ Ehwbepncyhl Yzafvkkw Gzdzbybpb Qqseizw Hvctbfzg Fjynqmgz Elv¬ÑUF[¬∂g S√ãO`Y}√ø  Seren Carstarphen (which sounds even stranger than it is spelled), but he/she prefers to be called Abe.  Abe claimed that he/she and quite a lot of other Intefe robots are studying at Bar ’Ilan University as part of an exchange program.  Abe is majoring in cardiovascular magicoeconomics.  I spent a while talking with Abe.  When I told him/her than Be’eri Street appeared rather lacking in weird things, he/she pointed out an unusual number of passages to other worlds.  People and things may occasionally come through the passages, thus leading to seeming inconsistencies in this series

This passage leads to an idealized version of America.  Notice the white picket fence someone brought back.

57 blocks away is a desert island inhabited by people unable to build a raft due to the incompetence of one of their number.  They also never manage to leave through the passage due to this screwup.

Two of Abe’s friends, O¬[¬¢¬àL and 64696092, stand at the entrance to a passage to a world inhabited by creatures from the works of the celebrated artist M. C. Escher.  Unfortunately they keep the curl-ups about 3,284,183 blocks away, so photographing them is not likely to happen soon.

At the end of this passage, three blocks away, is a two-dimensional world.  Being three-dimensional, I was too thick to get through the entrance crevice.  I also had to deal with cliché man-eating vines and might have been killed had not Abe zapped the vines with a laser pistol.

This passage wraps back to the start of Be’eri Street.  The spacetime engineer who created it has a strange sense of humor, since it plus Be’eri Street are wrapped around through hyperspace in something resembling a Möbius strip.  Anyone walking through this passage finds him/herself mirror-reversed.  This makes reading much harder, not to mention that everything looks subtly wrong.  Happily, one can become correctly reoriented with respect to the rest of our universe by walking down this passageway again.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Ḥayyim ’Arlozorov Street

Jewish date:  18 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath Behar).

Today’s event:  Golden Spike Day.

Greetings.

Continuing our series on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el, today we look at Ḥayyim ’Arlozorov Street.  As noted previously, all posts in this series, while containing real photographs, may contain deliberately inaccurate descriptions for entertainment purposes.  If you want accurate information, please come visit our lovely city and see it for yourself.

I rather enjoy fruit trees being everywhere.  Here are some of ’Arlozorov Street’s oranges and lemons.

Notice the camouflaged Intefe robots on the sidewalk.

Intefe robots have a nasty habit of pestering photographers at inconvenient times.  I was poked in the back by one while I was photographing this electrical box, which is why the photograph is so off-center.  (And, yes, I know I could have just cropped it.  But if you are ever going to come visit Giv‘ath Shemu’el, you need to know what the Intefe robots may do to you.)

Giv‘ath Shemu’el boasts many decorative gates, fences, and doors.  The Intefe robot who poked me in the back claimed he/she knew the artist who carved this one with laser beams.

According to the Intefe robot who poked me in the back, lots of humans want Intefe symbols on their gates because they are currently “in”.  Little did the people who bought this gate know that this symbol means “soup”.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and watch out for Intefe robots.

’Aharon/Aaron

’Efrayim Street

Jewish date:  16 ’Iyyar 5772 (Parashath Behar).

Today’s events:  World Red Cross & Red Crescent Day, No Socks Day.

Greetings.

For you today in my series on the streets of Giv‘ath Shemu’el, I report on ’Efrayim Street.

I am not sure what to make of this.

Everyone has heard of clay pigeons.  ’Efrayim Street boasts a colony of them.  In Israel, clay pigeons may not be flung into the air and shot for sport.  Notice this one is very happy to belong to a legally protected species.

This one watched too many Kool-Aid commercials and decided it would be fun to burst through a wall.

Please notice the eggs.  Clay pigeons do not build nests, but lay their eggs on the tops of walls, holding them in place with bubble gum.  For the most part, potential predators would rather avoid dealing with anything touched by the gum.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron