Today’s news and commentary:
- “Their Next Generation”
- “Entebbe Day (1977)”
- “Mr. Sharpie”
- “Ya'alon: Land for peace concept failed”
- “Power and Politics: Milestone” (Challenge for anyone working on their Hebrew in this one.)
- “Egyptians shoot Sudanese refugee” (Say what!?)
- “Poll: 64% of Israelis want a Jewish PM”
- “Scientists solve puzzle of Chile's missing lake”
- “TAJIKISTAN: 'Antidemocratic' draft Religion Law” (This is just plain disturbing.)
- “Restore and protect the Mount of Olives”
- “Humans Gobble One Quarter of Food Chain's Foundation”
- “World's Largest Bird Was a Glider”
- “N.C. fisherman reels in a piranha”
Aaron
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
- The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
- If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
- What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)
- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
- You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
- He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
- A calendar’s days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted: ’Taint yours, and ’taint mine.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done
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