Wednesday, April 2, 2008

26 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:In lieu of a weird thing, today I present towards my book Divine Misconceptions a review of The Dark Crystal and various related material. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



False symmetry: a theological review of “The Enemy Within” and The Dark Crystal
by Aaron Solomon Adelman

One of the most popular religious themes since ancient times has been that of the struggle between good and evil. The subject has been dealt with so many times to the point of being practically ubiquitous. Whenever anyone tells a story, one naturally expects there to be a side of good opposed by a side of evil. These two sides need not be different people; humans are often depicted as having good and evil parts which can be in conflict. A classic variation on the theme of internal conflict is Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, published in 1885 and popular ever since. It is a story where a man lets his baser drives express themselves without interference in the physical world, only to realize too late that he made a moral blunder. The story is not far removed from what people really do undergo, only that not everyone uses chemicals to produce Hyde.

In 1966 the basic premise of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde seems to have interbred with the “evil twin” idea of the 1930s and 1940s, producing the Star Trek (the original series) episode “The Enemy Within”. In that story, a transporter accident splits Captain James T. Kirk in two physically identical individuals. One Kirk is good, the other evil. At least four variations on this theme have appeared since then:

  • The Dark Crystal (1982): One thousand years previously, the Crystal was broken, resulting in the urSkeks being split into the evil Skeksis and the good Mystics (also known as “urRu”). The plot revolves around the quest of the gelfling Jen to fulfill a prophecy that a gelfling will repair the Crystal.
  • The Doctor Who (classic series) serial “The Trial of a Time Lord” (1986): One of the two major villains is the Valeyard, who is some sort of distillation of all the evil in the Doctor from between his 12th and 13th incarnations.
  • The Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Skin of Evil” (1988): The crew of the Enterprise encounters Armus, a tar-like being who is the evil of an entire race, split off and marooned on an uninhabited planet. This is most likely a derivative of “The Trial of a Time Lord”.
  • The Red Dwarf episode “Demons and Angels” (1992): Kryten invents the triplicator, a device which creates good and evil copies of anyone or anything. The Red Dwarf and its crew are accidentally triplicated.

Wherever we see both halves of the original, there is always an attempt at symmetry between the two.

  • “The Enemy Within”: The good Kirk grows increasingly passive, while the evil Kirk is very active. The good Kirk is selfless and gentle, while the evil Kirk is selfish and cruel. These symmetries are also found in a doglike creature which is also accidentally split. Neither half-Kirk is able to function properly alone, and eventually they are merged back together into a single Kirk.
  • The Dark Crystal: The Mystics and the Skeksis largely recapitulate the symmetries of the good and evil Kirks, only in ten distinct pairs, the big difference being that each race is functional. The symmetry is taken even further than in “The Enemy Within”. There are always exactly the same number of Mystics and Skeksis. If one of one group dies, then at the same time one of the other group dies. If one of one group is injured, then one of the other group is injured. The individual correspondence is conclusively confirmed when the gelfling Jen repairs the Crystal: each Mystic merges with his/her corresponding Skeksis into perfected beings, the urSkeks. Undeniably, the two races are each part of a greater whole.
  • “Demons and Angels”: Both the “high” and “low” halves are respectively good and evil taken to an absurd, over-the-top extreme—but considering that most things in the show are absurd or over-the-top, this is unsurprising; the “high” forms are impossibly naïve, gentle saints, and the “low” forms are unhygienic, depraved, and cruel beyond redemption. While The Dark Crystal expresses the brokenness of the Crystal in the splitting of the urSkeks, “Demons and Angels” extends the split to the physical qualities of the half-ships; on the “high” ship everything is in great shape and perfect—even much-despised Pot Noodles tasting wonderful—while everything on the “low” ship everything is practically falling apart.

The whole point of the moral split is drama, which it accomplishes very well. But drama is not the same thing as truth, and thus begin the theological difficulties.

That anything could be split into good and evil parts, whether it be done by malfunctioning advanced technology or a magic crystal, presupposes that good and evil are physical properties themselves. Physical properties are ones which have objective existence in the physical universe, e.g., mass, electric charge, color, location, size, weight, temperature, and density. But good and evil are not physical properties; they belong to a different class altogether: social constructs.

While social constructs normally reference the physical universe, social construct properties are ones that only exist because people recognize they exist. For example, ownership is purely a social construct; a rubber duck owned by Ernie belongs to Ernie because people recognize that Ernie is the owner. No physical examination can prove or disprove that Ernie is the owner. Even if the rubber duck is marked as belonging to Ernie, it is possible that, say, Bert bought the rubber duck from Ernie and simply failed to change the markings. Also, whether Ernie owns said rubber duck is dependent on the societal rules—be they explicit or implicit—being used; one society may consider Ernie the legitimate owner of the rubber duck while another denies he is the owner. Note this is not a denial of the phenomenon of ownership; rather this is a denial that ownership can be treated in the same unambiguous, purely objective manner that physical properties can. Other famous social construct properties include marital status, monetary value, legality, beauty and ugliness, and—relevant to this review—good and evil.

What is good and evil is only defined in the framework of a moral system, itself a social construct, which are themselves often parts of greater ideologies, such as religions and philosophical systems. In some religions, what is considered good and evil is dictated by a deity or saintly person. Other ideologies define them in philosophical terms. Some people eschew intellectual approaches and define them in terms of their emotional response or even construct a moral system arbitrarily. To be sure, some actions have widely agreed-upon moral statuses, but the moral status of many actions varies wildly from system to system. Is killing unbelievers permitted? Is animal sacrifice permitted? Is premarital sex permitted? Is abortion permitted? Is violence permitted? Is eating meat permitted? Ask followers of a dozen different moral systems these questions, and one will get a dozen different answers, many of which will include details on when and if these are permitted or forbidden. The fact that there is widespread diversity of moral systems needs to be kept in mind when discussing any moral question; moral systems with different axioms will, quite naturally, frequently return different answers. The upshot of all this, in the context of this review, is that splitting a being along moral lines is impossible. Since good and evil are not physical properties, there is no good side or evil side for a transporter to latch onto separately—and that is ignoring the serious question of whether a Star Trek-type transporter is possible at all. (Magic, of course, has never been demonstrated to exist, and there is no a priori reason to believe it is possible except in metaphorical senses of the term.) There is also the rather unpleasant question of what a person divided in half would physically look like which is universally ignored by providing each half with a whole body, probably in violation of the law of conservation of mass and energy.

One also may not take the path of claiming that the “good” and “evil” halves of the split beings are not really good and evil. In “Demons and Angels”, the “low” and “high” halves affirm themselves that the split is moral. The pure evil status of Armus and the Valeyard are also stated explicitly. Interpreting these statuses as not being actually moral would be in violation of the works’ simple meaning. And while the good Kirk and the Mystics are too passive to be very effective at doing good—though they do have “good” feelings—the evil Kirk, the Skeksis, Armus, and the Valeyard do nothing but evil (according to common Western moral convention, anyway). No one tries to make any case made that any of these “evil” beings are in some aspect good, period, only “necessary”—in contrast with the 1997 Star Trek: Voyager episode “Darkling”, in which Kes argues that a Hyde-like “dark” Doctor hologram composed of the “dark” sides of many simulated historical figures, despite having done much evil, still contains elements of good.

But so what if splitting a being in two among moral lines is impossible? These stories are all fiction, and that which is impossible in reality can appear in fiction with impunity! True enough, but the views of good and evil presented are also problematic.

  • Good and evil are not an intrinsic parts of the human psyche. Intrinsic evil would require that something in the human brain is only applicable towards good or evil. But evolution is a morally neutral process, shaping life according to what works, not according to what is good or evil. Nowhere in the human brain is there a “good center” or an “evil center”. Everything in the basic human mental repertoire can be used for good as well as evil. To illustrate this, let us review as examples the seven deadly sins of Christianity and examine their original purpose and virtuous application.

    • Lust: The primary purpose of the sex drive is procreation, the secondary purpose being social cohesion. Although some religions hold celibacy is an ideal, few make it obligatory for everybody. Those that prohibit sexual intercourse altogether have limited life spans, since without sex no children are born (except with technological assistance), and groups that do not produce children must have high levels of converts to sustain their numbers enough to survive. Like it or not, sex is part of the Divinely sanctioned natural order (in most religions, anyway) and has its place in reproduction and frequently as part of a pair bond.
    • Gluttony: Eating is required for survival. When food is scarce, eating as much as possible is sensible. It is the overdoing eating in which people get into trouble.
    • Greed: People need resources to survive. It makes sense to have a drive to get what is necessary. It also makes sense to acquire that what one can make good use of. Problems arise when people acquire more than they can use or do not make good use of what they have.
    • Sloth: Working too hard is bad for us. Thus having a drive to minimize work is sensible. It also helps us work more efficiently, so we can do more with the same or less effort. Slacking off and not doing what needs to be done is what causes trouble.
    • Wrath: Anger is a strong motivator. It is most useful when one or one’s loved ones are under attack, a time when immediate, decisive action is required. It can also drive one to right wrongs. Its misuse is when it drives people to do wrong. The idea that anger can be used for good is, notably, a central premise of the comic book character the Incredible Hulk. The Hulk is an embodiment of Dr. Bruce (or David) Banner’s anger, anger which he applies towards fighting evil rather than committing it.
    • Envy: Wanting something someone else has, whether achievements or property, is not a problem. Envy can drive people to better themselves. Problems come one when one is driven to act against another.
    • Pride: Feeling good about what one has done right motivates one to continue doing what is right. Pride becomes a troublemaker when it has not been earned.

  • Good and evil are not symmetrical. If they were, one could simply replace each with the other or a transformation of the other and everything would look the same—a situation which, so far as I know, occurs in no religion. Some religions, such as Zurvanism and Manichaeism, approach moral symmetry, but they do not reach it. In any religious system I am aware of where the unique, uncreated deity has a moral attribute, that deity is always good. Evil deities are almost always ultimately outranked by a good deity—assuming any evil deity actually exists. As such, the norm for religions is for good to be ultimately more powerful than evil. Because good is what one is supposed to do and evil what one is supposed to not do, we are supposed to recreate this lack of symmetry within ourselves. E.g., since Captain Kirk is a good character, the good half-Kirk should be more powerful than the evil half-Kirk, perhaps a lot larger, too. Two equal and opposite halves make no sense—or at least implies that Kirk is a more evil character than we think he is.
  • Evil is not necessary or good. “The Enemy Within” and The Dark Crystal both end with the reunion of good and evil halves, giving the message that evil has to exist. As stated before, good and evil are social constructs, not physical properties. Good is what, according to some moral system, we should do, and evil is what we should not do. That evil should be necessary or good implies a contradiction. E.g., murder is defined as the prohibited killing of any sentient being, by virtue of the prohibition being evil. If evil is necessary or good, murder can become permissible or obligatory. Since “prohibited” excludes both “permissible” and “obligatory”, murder cannot by definition ever be permitted or obligatory by virtue of the logical prohibition on contradiction. “Skin of Evil” comes closest to getting it right; would it be that we in reality could simply remove all evil from ourselves and abandon it on another planet!
  • Evil is not supposed to be ultimately successful. Since the norm for religions is for good to be ultimately more powerful than evil, the norm is that good must eventually prevail against evil. As such, that the Skeksis even have a chance at ruling forever is highly irregular, if not unprecedented.
  • Good is not the same thing as passivity, and evil is not the same thing as activity. Making the erroneous equations appears in both “The Enemy Within” and The Dark Crystal. Unless passivity is specifically listed by a religion as a virtue, being passive accomplishes evil by failing to do actual good and doing nothing to stop the commission of evil. The passivity makes the good Kirk and the Mystics somewhat less than truly saintly. Oddly, “Demons and Angels”, despite being over-the-top goofy parody—a genre in which one expects bad ideas to be lampooned—makes the “high” Red Dwarf crew-members just as active doing good as the “low” Red Dwarf crew-members are at doing evil.
  • Good is not the same thing as stupidity. Equating good with stupidity is a cheap dramatic device. Making the bad guys smarter than the good guys makes it harder for good to triumph, thus making the triumph of good so much sweeter. But intelligence is no more intrinsically evil than it is good; what truly makes it good or evil is how it is applied. One could even argue that stupidity lends itself more readily to evil than good. Making moral decisions properly requires objective examination of the current situation. Failure to correctly assess, say, who is guilty and who is innocent in a conflict can cause a tragedy, hence a good reason not to be stupid. Here is where “Demons and Angels” goes horribly wrong, making the “high” characters unable to understand that they are being slaughtered by the “low” characters.
  • Good and evil are not necessarily unitary. Why are characters only being split into just one good and one evil side? Is it not possible for one to be extremely moral in one aspect yet morally neutral or immoral in another? Why is no character ever split into more than just two fragments, each embodying different aspects of morality? E.g., why not a character split into not two, but fourteen fragmentary characters, each exemplifying one of the seven deadly sins or the seven holy virtues of Christianity?

Conclusion: All of these works are based on something physically impossible, and ignoring this, the views of good and evil presented are all faulty. Enjoy them for the drama, but forget about learning anything about morality from “The Enemy Within” and The Dark Crystal.

Overall classification of “The Enemy Within”: Space opera that now looks retro-futuristic.

Theological rating of “The Enemy Within”: D.

Overall classification of “Trial of a Time Lord”: Science-fiction hampered by bad choices in writing and production during this season.

Theological rating of “Trial of a Time Lord”: I (due to insufficient reference material on the Valeyard at the moment).

Overall classification of “Skin of Evil”: Space opera used as a convenient vehicle to let an actress leave the show without a good dramatic reason.

Theological rating of “Skin of Evil”: D+ (I appreciate Armus being abandoned on a distant planet, but the division is intrinsically impossible).

Overall classification of The Dark Crystal: Then cutting-edge pre-Jurassic Park fantasy with Muppets.

Theological rating of The Dark Crystal: D.

Overall classification of “Demons and Angels”: Over-the-top goofy science-fiction.

Theological rating of “Demons and Angels”: D+ (not as bad as “The Enemy Within” or The Dark Crystal).

Monday, March 31, 2008

24 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: Bunsen Burner Day/Take Your Parents to the Playground Day

Greetings.

Related to Divine Misconceptions: “To tell or not to tell, that is the question”. The author is quite right. Statistics teaches us that there will almost inevitably be a few people who go horribly wrong, and I do hear periodically of reports of disgraceful things happening in the Orthodox Jewish community—things I most sincerely hope are distortions or completely false because they are painful. Unfortunately, pretending that everyone in one’s group is perfect (or close enough to perfect) and covering up problems can lead to tragedy, as negative publicity about the Catholic Church in recent years has demonstrated.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing, submitted by Mom, is “Flower Garden”. The instructions she gave me for it are:
Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the

page & see what happens! Better yet, click & drag

your mouse over the black page... Enjoy!!
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, March 28, 2008

21 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: Mom’s birthday/International Dadaism Month/Something On A Stick Day

Greetings.

Worthy causes of the day: “Justice for the Angola 3”, “Stand up for Democracy in the Democratic Party”, and “Congress Must Protect Our Drinking Water”.

Also: Happy birthday, Mom!

Divine misconception of the day: “Parents pick prayer over docs; girl dies”. It is perfectly correct theology that “healing comes from God”. The mistake is assuming that God is going to heal people just because of their faith or prayer; this has not been observed to be correct. In His abundant mercy, God has granted us ever-increasing knowledge of biology and medicine and bestowed doctors upon us, resulting in cures where certain death or chronic illness were the case before, prevention of horrible diseases, and longer life-spans.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Yesterday, while at the post office, a bizarre idea occurred to me which seemed unique. However, a quick search reveals I have been beaten to it. Nevertheless, I present it to you as today’s weird thing: “1984. The Musical”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, March 27, 2008

20 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: The Scream Day/World Wear Odd Socks Day/World Theatre Day/Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today, there are probably only three people on the planet who have never heard of Hampsterdance.Com. Barbara has informed me that the little rodents have struck again in the form of today’s weird thing, “Hampsterdance: The Album”. Enjoy (or be scared or something) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

19 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: Spinach Festival Day/Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: “Stop Discriminatory Sentencing”.

In honor of one of today’s quasi-holidays, I hereby proclaim April 14 to be Don Quixote Day, dedicated to promoting wind power.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is something silly sent to me by Erin, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



Holy Prostitutes

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, ‘What may we do for you my son?’

He answers, ‘I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....’

‘Very well my son. Please follow me.’ He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, ‘Please knock on this door.’

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, ‘Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.’

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.  SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER!

Friday, March 21, 2008

14 ’Adhar 5768: Purim/Good Friday

Greetings.

Divine misconception of the day: “63 failed & 1 ambiguous end-of-the-world predictions between 30 CE and 1990 CE”. Given that people have done a lousy job already, it is best to avoid assuming anyone predicting the end of the World again know what they are talking about unless they have rock-solid evidence behind them. A flimsy interpretation of Scripture is not enough.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “The 50 Worst Cars of All Time”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, happy Purim, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

12 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: Poultry Day/Act Happy Week

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is the somewhat morbid Who's Alive and Who's Dead. I am not listed at this site, which I take as a good sign. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

11 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: Spacewalk Day/Awkward Moments Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is a two-liner from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the manager, “I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.”

The banker said, “Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.”

Monday, March 17, 2008

10 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: St. Patrick’s Day/Submarine Day

Greetings.

Cool thing of the day:
Google Sky.

Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing is “Good and Bad Procrastination”.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, March 16, 2008

9 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Palm Sunday/National Artichoke Hearts Day

Greetings.

Divine misconception of the day: “Indians seeking vision harm sight”. How many times do I have to say it? Piety does not provide protection from stupidity!

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is Phonespelling.com. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, March 14, 2008

7 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: Pi Day/National Potato Chip Day

Greetings.

NOTE: One week until Purim!

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “A Clockwork Guitar - The Steampunk Stratocaster”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

5 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Girl Scout Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is something Mom forwarded to me, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron


CHUCKLE!!!

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.   

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?    

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?    

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?   

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?   

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?   

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?   

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?   

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?    

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?   

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?   

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!   

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?  

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?   

------------------

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Monday, March 10, 2008

3 ’Adhar Sheni 5768: National Workplace Napping Day

Greetings.

Note: Blogger has been having trouble for the past few days, so you’re getting hit with a lot of stuff at once.

Worthy cause of the day: “Save the 2009 Budget”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Parking Meter Headstone”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Thursday, March 6, 2008

29 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: National Book Day/National Frozen Food Day/Name Tag Day

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: Remote Area Medical (Submitted by Barry.)

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is something silly from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



Things You Never Say to a Cop

1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!

5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

7. Bad Cop! No donut!

8. You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

9. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.

10. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand.

12. I pay your salary!

13. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

14. Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last Officer only gave me a warning, too!

15. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

16. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around—that’s how far ahead of me they are.

17. What do you mean, “Have I been drinking?” You’re the trained specialist.

18. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, and forcing me to speed out of control.

19. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

Monday, March 3, 2008

26 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: What if Cats and Dogs has opposable Thumbs day/Read Across America Day/Fun Facts About Names Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird things are everything the YouTube GuitarViols Channel. GuitarViols are a variation on the old arpeggione/viol concept; they are essentially guitars which can be played with a bow like a violin. (And I know they look something like game pods from eXistenZ, but there seems to be an ergonomic logic to the look. And this is one of the cooler directions in which the guitar can be developed.) Some of the material is mostly of interest to those interested in musical instrument construction, but there are also musical demos, too, e.g.:




Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, February 29, 2008

23 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: National Surf and Turf Day/Leap Year Day

Greetings.

Relevant to one of today’s quasi-holidays: “August—History of the Month's Origin” and “Why we have leap days”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is No More LOL.com. Enjoy, laugh out loud, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

21 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: International Polar Bear Day/Inconvenience Yourself Day

Greetings.

Useful thing of the day: Identifont, for when you need to identify an unknown font.

Today’s news and commentary:About two weeks ago, I posted a theological review of Tron. Today’s weird thing is “Bicycletron”, an attempt at implementing the lightcycle game from Tron in real life.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, February 25, 2008

19 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Go Bowling Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is Antonio Rioseco doing Star Wars music in a very detailed style on classical guitar:




He also does the Jaws theme, too:

Note that he extracted the music entirely by ear. Enjoy (and be impressed) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, February 24, 2008

18 ’Adhar 5768: International Pancake Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is The Smigel Styrofoam Soprano Guitar. On the bright side, plywood is worse. Enjoy (or be scared or something) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Thursday, February 21, 2008

15 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: International Mother Language Day

Greetings.

In observance of today’s quasi-holiday, today’s post will be in my native language: English.

Worthy cause of the day: “Ask The Presidential Candidates To Visit Africa”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is Odd Music-Experimental music, unique unusual musical instruments, weird strange musical instruments,mp3s,music resources. Enjoy (or be scared or something) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

14 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Purim Qaṭan

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: “Tell Congress: Support Permanent Wilderness Designation for the Arctic Wildlife Refuge”.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “David Rivinus Violin Maker”. WARNING: Many of the instruments depicted are extremely surreal and may cause nausea. Enjoy or be scared or something, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Monday, February 18, 2008

12 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Presidents’ Day/National Battery Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is the hideous-looking Pikasso guitar. This instrument is wrong on so many levels and probably extremely dangerous to play. Enjoy or be scared or something and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Sunday, February 17, 2008

11 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Champion Crab Races Day/My Way Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Poll: Which sci-fi/fantasy presidential ticket gets your vote?”. (I voted for Picard.) Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Friday, February 15, 2008

Worthy cause of the day: “The games China is hosting in Beijing can't hide those it's playing in Darfur”

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is the petition “The games China is hosting in Beijing can't hide those it's playing in Darfur”. Please sign and tell China to get its collective active together. Yes, they probably won’t listen, but even communist party leaders are not immune to public opinion. Thanks in advance.

Aaron

Worthy cause of the day: “The games China is hosting in Beijing can't hide those it's playing in Darfur”

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is the petition “The games China is hosting in Beijing can't hide those it's playing in Darfur”. Please sign and tell China to get its collective active together. Yes, they probably won’t listen, but even communist party leaders are not immune to public opinion. Thanks in advance.

Aaron

9 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Great Backyard Bird Count

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing, for which Barry is responsible, is “Hip Hop Violin Caprice”.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Worthy cause of the day: “Let the voters decide”

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is the MoveOn.org petition “Let the voters decide”. Please sign and let the superdelegates know that you want the decision for whether Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton becomes the Democratic candidate for president to be in the hands of those voting in the primaries and not in the hands of unelected officials. Thank you.

Aaron

8 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Ferris Wheel Day/Valentine’s Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:In lieu of the usual weird thing (and as a break from the weird music I have been posting lately), I present my latest Divine Misconceptions-related review below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



A theological review of Tron
by Aaron Solomon Adelman

Yes, I am reviewing Tron, the 1982 film famous for being one of the first movies with computer-generated graphics and for being campy. Tron is most definitely a B-movie. The idea of a megalomaniac computer program is not original by any means, having been done before by Doctor Who, Star Trek, and probably other TV shows and movies. The writers clearly have no understanding of computer science or computer-related culture whatsoever, thus ignoring the operating system, turning programs into people, creating a virtual environment within the computer the way they did, having items from video games wandering around loose, and other such inanities. I could easily be brutal and needlessly sadistic describing an ignorance so profound as to confound programmers with users, but to the credit of the writers, Tron gets basic theology amazingly right.

The foundation of Tron theology is that “Users” are gods to the programs they have written. Given the amount of control “Users” can exert on programs, essentially godlike powers, this is entirely sensible. This is manifested in a number of details:
  • Programs in Tron are created in the image of their “Users”. This is taken much further than in Genesis 1:27—programs are invariably played by the same actor as their “Users”. Even the Master Control Program (MCP), who is not depicted in human form, is voiced by the same actor as his “User”, Ed Dillinger.
  • Programs have exalted notions of what “Users” are, much as we humans tend to view our gods in terms of perfection, grand plans, and infiniteness; one of the programs, Tron, initially believes that everything “Users” do is “part of a plan”.
  • What is good and evil for programs is defined wholly in terms of the will of their “Users”, much as religious humans usually define good and evil in terms of the will of their gods; therefore programs believe they must act according to the will of their “Users”, much as humans often believe they must act according to the will of their gods. And much as religions usually have held that the will of gods is revealed through prophecy, prophecy has its place in Tron, too. Early in the movie, the “User” Kevin Flynn communicates his will to his security program, Clu, who despite some trepidation attempts to obey and find some hidden data. Tron, one of the heros of the story, actively seeks out communication with his “User”, Alan Bradley, so that he may know his will and fulfill it. He puts his life at risk making use of an I/O tower to do so, but fulfilling the will of his “User” is important enough to be worth the risk.
Example: the (program) villain of the story is the MCP. The MCP is an extremely sinful character. He takes over the mainframe at the software company ENCOM and extends himself into many other computers as well. In his own dominion inside computers, he bends other programs to his will, forcing them to either deny the existence of “Users” or to fight to the death in video games. To make matters worse, the MCP blackmails his “User” Dillinger; declares his superiority to humans; and brings the “User” Flynn,who tries to subvert him, into the world of the mainframe to die in the games. If merely offending a god is sinful, how much more so trying to kill one! Even the MCP’s lieutenant, Sark, hesitates to raise a hand against Flynn, though he does ultimately comply with the MCP’s wishes.

Contrast Tron. Tron is a security program. He recognizes that his “User” considers the MCP a danger and wants him destroyed. Tron spends the movie working with Flynn and other programs fighting against the MCP and Sark. Tron even takes the step of communicating directly with his “User” to learn what he wants—which is risky due to the MCP’s suppressive policies. He never wavers from his duty.

What is the difference in outcome? Although the “Users” do not intervene to reward or punish, the law of karma seems to apply. The MCP and Sark are defeated and destroyed, while Tron and the surviving programs get to live happily ever after—especially Tron himself, who has the opportunity to live happy ever after with his beloved Yori.

Karma also works on the “Users”, too. Dillinger had achieved a high position in the company by stealing five highly profitable video games from Flynn and passing them off as his own work, with Flynn being reduced to running a video arcade for a living. For something so widely condemned as immoral, Dillinger’s deception is revealed in the end. Flynn fights against the evil MCP and Sark in the mainframe world, even giving his virtual life to allow Tron to accomplish his mission. For this virtuous behavior, he merits not only to be rehired by ENCOM, but to become the boss as well.

Good as Tron is theologically, it still has some flaws.
  • I would have liked to have seen more detail on what the “Users” did after Flynn returned from the mainframe domain. Did Flynn and colleagues reward Tron and Yori? Did they resurrect the programs that the MCP and Sark had killed (e.g., Clu and Ram)? (Presumably they were backed up somewhere.) Did they condemn the MCP and Sark to some sort of cybernetic Hell? Did Flynn do anything to reward Alan Bradley and Lora Baines, who helped him in a quest to break into the ENCOM mainframe which ultimately resulted in the uncovering of Dillinger’s deception? What is the fate of Dillinger? And how does karma work in the first place—or does it truly figure into the story at all? Until (and if) there is a sequel, we will never know the answers to these questions.
  • So far as I know, there is no religion which posits that sentient life came into existence purely accidentally.
  • The MCP kidnapping and deliberately trying to murder the “User” Flynn may be unprecedented. Flynn is not a willing participant to his kidnapping; in contrast, Jesus—the nearest equivalent in Christianity—walked into his arrest willingly, even though it led to his execution. There is some worrying about mortals having powers over gods in the Mahabharata, but I am not clear that the Hindu religions ever posit the notion of the kidnapping of a god.
So Tron is not theologically perfect. Still, for a B-movie, it turns out much better theologically than one would expect.

Classification: Campy science-fiction (heavy on the fiction) B-movie.

Overall rating: C+ (nearly instantaneous failure of suspension of disbelief, lack of character growth, unresolved plot holes, and very enjoyable to watch).

Theological rating: B (fix in those theological problems in the sequel, and I will be happy to raise the score).

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

7 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5768: Stamp Collectors Day/Get A Different Name Day

Greetings.

Divine misconception of the day: Many people think believing and acting irrationally is harmless. What's The Harm? documents cases where people have been injured or killed due to irrationality. To make things worse, sometimes the person harmed is not the person being irrational. Please note that irrational beliefs and behavior is characteristic of certain religions, such as the severely misnamed “Christian Science” and snake-handlers. Whatever you believe, do not practice your religion foolishly; you cannot count on Divine protection. Psalms 116:6 does indeed say “YHWH is the guardian of the gullible”, but it that is not an excuse for folly; without Divine intervention, fools would probably drop dead in far higher numbers than they actually do.

Today’s news and commentary:Today’s weird thing is “Vivaldi, The Four Seasons, Winter III, 3 Guitars & 2 Basses”.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Worthy cause of the day: Take a stand against torture

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is the petition “Take a stand against torture”. Please sign immediately and help put a stop to the Bush administration’s immoral and illegal treatment of prisoners. Thank you.

Aaron