Friday, April 8, 2005

Weird thing of the day 8 April 2005/28 'Adhar Sheni 5765 (International Feng Shui Awareness Day)

Greetings.

Entertainment update: I received an interesting essay yesterday that I believe is worth posting.
As you all know (probably because you have nothing
better to do with your time than sit around watching
the telly rather than talk to people), by the end of
this month Touchstone Pictures will be releasing a
movie version of Douglas Adams' THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE
TO THE GALAXY. Of course this is not the first
adaptation of this novel, there being a passible one
put out by the British Broadcasting Corporation in the
1980s that looked like the people who made DOCTOR WHO
decided to make a comedy, which is pretty much what
happened. Despite the unsophistication of the
special-effects technology, the series was halfway
watchable, and this despite them underutilizing
Trillian and one of Zaphod Beeblebrox's heads, a
horrendous miscasting of a suicidal food animal, and
too little screen time being given to a certain robot.
The series somewhat worked because it was largely
faithful to Adams' text, which milked a number of
clever absurd and satirical situations for humour to
the point of me almost smiling, if I was so capable.
Kudos to the BBC for their efforts. Now Touchstone is
releasing their own version of the first book in the
five-part trilogy. Immediately you should be wary as
Touchstone is the label put on movies made by Walt
Disney Pictures which are too mature for children,
almost always being so vacuous and dreadful that they
make one long for Vogon poetry. But even not knowing
this, I would still know that this movie will be
decidedly awful. The promotional trailers played on
the telly are almostly exclusively composed of
special-effects shots. While the book is certainly an
excellent source for this, this is disturbing because
this is most certainly not what the book is about.
The book is about characters trapped in absurd,
frustrating situations beyond their control, such as a
human whose planet is destroyed by a careless,
impersonal bureaucracy and, even better, a genius
robot who is forced to serve inferior creatures by
doing menial labour. All they would have to show
would be a few clips of Ford Prefect doing some absurd
negotiations and Arthur Dent whining amusingly. Even
a shot of Zaphod Beeblebrox (who Touchstone/Disney has
inexplicably given just one head) saying something
stupid (as occurs on a regular basis) would have been
comforting. Instead, I am sure that moviegoers will
be forced to endure a long, depressing two hours of
computer-generated flash without any comic substance.
I pity the poor humans. Destruction by a Mutant Star
Goat would have been so much better.

-Marvin

I do not agree with Marvin on everything. I thought in the TV series that Trillian was more trivialized and made bimboesque than underutilized. I am also not clear on whether the TV series preceded the books or was made after the first two books; I once asked Arthur about it, but he mumbled something about a time machine and a barrel full of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, and then he refused to discuss the matter further.

Today’s weird thing is an article about an unusual problem: “Ohio Officials Chase Problem Turkeys”. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

There you go‭, ‬taking his word over mine‭. ‬He's not very intelligent‭, ‬you know‭. ‬Zaphod Beeblebrox was right in suggesting his brain could be replaced with an electronic one that made him say‭ "‬Where's the tea‭?" ‬and no one would notice a difference‭. ‬Why do I even bother‭?‬

Anonymous said...

Actually, you're stupid, too. How much time did you waste being bored rather than trying to find worthwhile things to do? Several times the age of the universe?

Anonymous said...

You can't be too bright yourself if you don't know how simply awful the universe is‭. ‬Slaving away for centuries just to answer one foolish question which silly little creatures could not answer themselves‭... "‬42‭," ‬what kind of an ultimate answer is that‭?‬

Anonymous said...

You're only certain that the answer is foolish because you don't know the question.

Anonymous said...

I just read a review of that movie, and man, it sucks! They turned me into a freaking idiot! Me! The froodiest guy in the universe and the center of all being! They can't do that to me!

Anyone who knows when I can find the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal? I think the scriptwriters really ought to meet it.

Anonymous said...

Did you try looking for the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal on Traal?

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah! I thought of that right after I pressed the "Login and Publish" button. Really, I did!

Anonymous said...

Idiots‭, ‬all of them‭. ‬A brain the size of a planet‭, ‬and this is what I have to put up with‭. ‬And they wonder why I'm so miserable‭...‬

Anonymous said...

Actually‭, ‬I thought I was very well cast in the BBC adaptation‭. ‬John Davidson was excellent in ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL‭.‬

Anonymous said...

HEY MARVINS RITE YOR ALL MORONS I HAVENT SEEN ANY1 AS DUM AS U GUYS SINS I GRAJYU8ED FRUM A PUBLIK HI SKOOL IN SOUTH KAROLINA

Anonymous said...

All excellent points‭! ‬Might I note that to answer all these questions and much‭, ‬much more can be found in THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY‭! ‬Yes‭, ‬the GUIDE will tell you everything‭, ‬from the proper way to greet the Flendipitus people of Zacron V with tree branches and marmalade to how to build an escape vehicle out of a carboard box and a roll of aluminium foil‭. ‬And now newly updated‭, ‬it contains even more goodies‭, ‬from tips for aliens in New York to the five most important things you can put on your head‭. ‬Yes‭, ‬purchase the GUIDE today‭, ‬because it pays my salary and I really need to pay off some bar tabs‭.‬

Anonymous said...

Hey‭, ‬can I advertise my club here‭?‬

Anonymous said...

Can I get that through Amazon or Barnes and Nobel?

Anonymous said...

Hey‭, ‬if we are offering services‭, ‬would anyone be interested in a planet‭? ‬How about Bill Gates‭?‬

Anonymous said...

You stupid monkey man! You can't buy good books from them! They won't carry my books on how to impress babes and make drinks that give you hangovers that make you wish you were dead for a year! If they don't carry my stuff, what makes you think anything they carry is good?

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone want to buy those books‭? ‬They might actually want to get babes or not wish they were dead‭.‬