‪י״ב אייר תשס״ז * 30 April 2007: כ״ז בעומר/Hairstyle Appreciation Day

Greetings.

Note: Despite it being Hairstyle Appreciation Day, since it’s still before Lagh ba‘Omer, my hairstyle is in no shape to be appreciated except if I enter a yak-imitating contest.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Eurological Problem”
  
• “Controversy simmers over Gaza expo”
  
• “Balen Report: Court Rules in BBC's Favour”
  
• “Minorities fare worse in traffic stops” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “Latest Bionic Eyes Plug Directly Into the Brain”

Today’s weird thing is Magic Cube 4D. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

‪י״א אייר תשס״ז * 29 April 2007: כ״ו בעומר

Greetings.

I am pleased to announce that my brother Barry has passed his dissertation defense and is now officially a PhD. Everybody cheer!

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Congressional Vote”
  
• “Legendary 'Hogzilla' to hit big screen”
  
• “"Billie" the turtle wins Costa Rica sea race”
  
• “Gadhafi warns West on involvement in Darfur” (Utterly shameful.)
  
• “Wild orchids in China face extinction”
  
• “Saudi tribe holds camel beauty pageant”

Today’s weird thing is Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension, which is about the worst of the worst of films. Note that the reviews are more entertaining than the films themselves. ּThis site may also be useful for knowing which movies not to see. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

‪ט׳ אייר תשס״ז * 27 April 2007: כ״ד בעומר/Write an Old Friend Today Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Hamas Hostage Taking”
  
• “antiSemitism (2002)”
  
• First DARPA prosthetic limb comes with virtual reality training
  
• “Stephen Hawking Flies Weightless Aboard Jet ”
  
• “Another Human Rights Violation in Syria”

Today’s weird thing is the Cruzin Cooler Motorized Scooter Cooler. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

‪ח׳ אייר תשס״ז * 26 April 2007: כ״ג בעומר/Shuffleboard Day/National Pretzel Day/Landscape Architecture Day

Greetings.

<EMBELLISHED>Right now I am trying to register so I can apply for jobs on what has to be the most evil system an HR department has ever devised. In order to fight the demonic powers properly, I have gathered around me the most evil magical books in my possession: The Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Rituals by Anton Szandor LaVey, The Necronomicon, and Godless: The Church of Liberalism by Ann Coulter. Hopefully my demonic powers will cancel out those of HR. Let’s see how this goes...</EMBELLISHED>

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Asylum for Sudanese refugees”
  
• “Schwarzenegger Threatens To Sue EPA”
  
• “Democrats to issue subpoenas to Rice, Republican National Committee”
  
• “Most Docs Let Drug Makers Buy Them Food” (Bad idea.)
  
• “To sleep, perchance to remember”

Today’s weird thing is “Kosher Bagel Seeds”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

‪ז׳ אייר תשס״ז * 25 April 2007: כ״ב בעומר/ANZAC Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Must Be For Crowd Control”
  
• “Planet Hunters Edge Closer to Their Holy Grail”
  
• “Scent of a woman”
  
• “Yesterday's T. Rex is today's chicken”
  
• “Mystery fossil turns out to be giant fungus”

Today’s weird thing is “Kryptonite Discovered; Adamantium Remains Elusive”. I most sincerely cannot make something like this up. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

‪ו׳ אייר תשס״ז * 24 April 2007: כ״א בעומר/Astronomy Day/24 Hour Comics Day/Plumber’s Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Yom Ha'Atzmaut”
  
• “Yom HaZikaron (1982)”
  
• “Hip-hop's Simmons wants to remove offensive words”

As many of you know, I got a new MacBook Pro recently. One thing I was curious about was what what my disk space was being used for, having only about 40 gigabytes free, and it turned out there were 2.49 gigabytes of sounds in

/Library/Audio/Apple Loops/Apple/Apple Loops for GarageBand/

and

/Library/Audio/Apple Loops/Apple/iLife Sound Effects/

Yes, Apple is giving away a ridiculous number of free sounds with new computers. Since I do not use iLife, and I am not likely to do much with GarageBand (except perhaps change the instruments in MIDI files into absurdly inappropriate choices), I had to come up with something to do with them. I therefore have started using them for beep sounds and incorporating playing them into scripts. I may utilize them next Purim during the Meghillah reading. Go forth and see what sorts of noise is on your computer!

Note: I recommend using Play Sound to play the sounds. iTunes will do the job, too, though. Also note that many of the sounds are too long to used sanely as beeps.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and go forth and make a lot of noise.

Aaron

‪ה׳ אייר תשס״ז * 23 April 2007: כ׳ בעומר/Israeli Independence Day/Laboratory Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Straining a "Ceasefire"?”
  
• “Israel's population reaches 7,150,000”
  
• “Israel at 59”
  
• “Ethanol use may pose health threat” (Thanks Dad for this issue.)

Today’s weird thing, thanks to Barry, is the “Bonecrusher” article on Teletraan-1. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and have a happy Israeli Independence Day.

Aaron

‪ד׳ אייר תשס״ז * 22 April 2007: י״ט בעומר/Earth Day/Holocaust Remembrance Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry may or may not be responsible for:

• “Cho's Home Video”
  
• “Think Again: Rabbis are not pooper-scoopers”
  
• “When aid hurts”
  
• “Benefits of Antidepressants Outweigh Risk of Suicidal Behavior in Adolescents”
  
• “And Hate the Sinner Too…”
  
• “Mini Surgical Robot Crawls Over Beating Heart”
  
• “Tiny Creatures Rediscover the Joy of Sex”
  
• “If You Can Make it There… Cities Are the Greatest Generators of Innovation and Wealth”
  
• “Chimps More Evolved Than Humans”
  
• “Russia Plans World's Longest Tunnel, a Link to Alaska”
  
• “'Smart dust' to explore planets”
  
• “Still standing, still proud”

Due to Holocaust Remembrance Day, there will be no weird thing today. Until next time.

Aaron

‪א׳ אייר תשס״ז * 19 April 2007: ראש חודש אייר/National Hanging Out Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “NUJ Boycott: A Reward For Palestinian Journalists?”
  
• “UK Journalists' Union Votes to Boycott Israe”
  
• “World’s first tree reconstructed”
  
• “`Partial Birth' Abortion Ban Upheld by Top U.S. Court (Update5) ”
  
• “Minnesota's Muslim cab drivers face crackdown”
  
• “Indian priests administer polio drops as blessings” (Beautiful.)
  
• “Wimpy Stars Barely Hanging On”
  
• “Want to Reduce Air Pollution? Don't Rely on Ethanol Necessarily” (My brother the automotive engineer is pushing diesel instead.)
  
• “Nissan senses US market for small, cheap cars” (Suggested by Barry.)

Today’s weird things are “The alarm clock that runs and hides so you'll never oversleep again” and the product mentioned in that article, clocky®. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy new month.

Aaron

‪כ״ט ניסן תשס״ז * 17 April 2007: The Double-Tongued Dictionary

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “Talks With The Palestinians (1994)”
  
• “Airport hits cabbies for refusing fares”
  
• “The Deadly Rage of the American Male: Massacre at Virginia Tech”
  
• “Chomp came before stomp for early amphibians”
  
• “Rooting for Tony Soprano”
  
• “If T. rex fell, how did it get up, given its tiny arms and low center of gravity?”
  
• “Brain Tumor Vaccine Trial Shows Promising Results”
  
• “Shame on the Vatican”
  
• “Berkeley polls Jews on sexuality and Halacha”

Today’s weird thing is the Double-Tongued Dictionary. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

‪כ״ח ניסן תשס״ז * 16 April 2007: י״ג בעומר

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: Support the rights of states to divest from the Sudan.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Saudis continue to boycott Israel” (Note this is a breach of agreement.)

Today’s weird thing is “The Geek Hierarchy”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

‪כ״ז ניסן תשס״ז * 15 April 2007: י״ב בעומר/Holocaust Memorial Day/Rubber Eraser Day/National Glazed Ham Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “The New UN Guy”
  
• “Clerics issue edict over sinful hugging” (Absurd overkill.)
  
• “Itzik: Holocaust a stain on humanity, carried out by man”
  
• “Never again”
  
• “No less than firing a gun”
  
• “New Laws of Robotics proposed for US kill-bots”
  
• “Bush's Mistake and Kennedy's Error”
  
• “Human Sperm Could One Day Be Made From Bone Marrow”
  
• “Garbage piles in Gaza due to strike”
  
• “A recipe for terror”

Since this is Holocaust Memorial Day, not exactly an appropriate day for fun, there will be no weird thing.

Aaron

‪כ״ה ניסן תשס״ז * 13 April 2007: י׳ בעומר/Blame Somebody Else Day

Greetings.

Potentially useful resource: Kashrus Agencies.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Countless White House E-Mails Deleted” (I blame Karl Rove.)
  
• “The Larger Issue of the Duke Lacrosse Scandal”
  
• “The Hate Speech of Don Imus”

Today’s weird thing is “A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling” by Mark Twain. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

‪כ״ד ניסן תשס״ז * 12 April 2007: ט׳ בעומר/Look Up At The Sky Day/Yuri’s Night

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Releasing Terrorists (1994)”
  
• “Israeli Freedom of Religion Attacked in San Francisco Chronicle”
  
• “Grandstanding For the Cameras”
  
• “Tale of Teeny Ted said to be world's smallest book”
  
• “Turn the TV off during dinner”
  
• “Plants on other planets may be yellow or red”
  
• “The Greenest Place in America...”
  
• “Scientists create bacon sandwich formula”
  
• “Senate passes stem-cell funding bill”

Today’s weird thing, thanks to Nancy, is “Anyone up for a good laugh?”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

כ״ג ניסן תשס״ז * 11 April 2007: ח׳ בעומר/Barbershop Quartet Day/National Cheese Fondue Day

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum and Google Earth.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “Counting the Days”
  
• “Iranian Student Radicals (1980)”
  
• “The anti-Israeli Israeli”
  
• “Manhood myths may keep boys from seeing doctor”
  
• “Children need wholesome heroes”
  
• “Is bottled water really better than tap?”
  
• “'Cellborg' Humidity Gauge First Bacterial Cyborg”
  
• “Bosnians raise monument to canned beef”

Today’s weird thing is a completely unserious and improbable warning from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

---

Warning:

If you receive an email entitled, “Badtimes”, delete it immediately. Do not open it.

Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on all of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink ALL your beer.

FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings that grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the “Badtimes” message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

**WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. **

And if you don’t send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you’ll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you while sending out sparks that will ignite the methane in your flatulence setting the person nearest you ablaze...

You have been warned!

‪כ׳ ניסן תשס״ז * 8 April 2007: חול המועד פסח/ה׳ בעומר/Easter/International Feng Shui Awareness Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Olmert's Outreach”
  
• “iPod Serves as Body Armor, Saves Soldier's Life in Iraq”

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Passover and Easter.

Aaron

---

On Thin Ice

There was this fella with a parrot and this parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type and the bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be to much so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him repeatedly and yells,

— Quit it!

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears even more than ever. Then the guy locks the bird in the kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird curses even more than before! At this point, the guy is so angry the he throws the bird into the freezer.

For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes, but then it suddenly gets very quite. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple minutes of silence, he’s so worried that he opens the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man’s outstretched arm and says,

— I’m awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.

The man is astounded. He can’t understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot continues saying,

— By the way, what did the chicken do?

‪י״ח ניסן תשס״ז * 6 April 2007: חול המועד פסח/ג׳ בעומר/Tartan Day/Good Friday

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “The British Go To War! (1982)”
  
• “Scientists: Genes determine dogs' sizes”
  
• “Solar power breakthrough at Massey”
  
• “Hackers offer subscription, support for their malware”
  
• “Climate change threatens new dust bowl”

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy, share the weirdness, happy Passover, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

---

Have you ever had a bad day? Bet you can’t top this one…

A little guy was sitting at the bar staring at his drink for a long time.

Suddenly a big tough biker came in and snatched his glass and guzzled down the contents and laughed “Hah!! So what are you going to do about that little man?”

“Nothing,” sighed the little man despondently, “You see, today has been the worst day of my life. This morning I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss was furious and so he fired me. I cleared my desk, went to my car only to discover that it was not there—someone had stolen it. So I took a taxi home, but when it came time to pay the driver, I realized that I’d forgotten my wallet. I then went in the house and found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking of ending it all, you came along and drank my poison.”

‪י״ז ניסן תשס״ז * 5 April 2007: חול המועד פסח/ב׳ בעומר/Go For Broke Day/National Workplace Napping Day/Stop the Clocks Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Passover Deal”
  
• “The British Sailors”
  
• “The Spirit of Passover (1983)”
  
• “Capitalism and male depression”

Today’s weird thing is “how to make a starship enterprise out of an old floppy disk”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Passover.

Aaron

‪י״ד ניסן תשס״ז * 2 April 2007: תענית הבכורים/National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

Greetings.

Weird thing of the day character update: Bobby Awesome has been grounded again for posting yesterday without notifying me first and for making the false claim of me running off to get married to a “hot chick”. As nice as the idea sounds, it’s simply not practical to get married right before Pesah (Passover). His parents are thinking of making him be a “volunteer” waiter when I do get married.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Door Post Haste” (Note: Do not try this at home!)
  
• “Officials bar rabbi's matzo-making bus” (Bummer. The bus-oven is cool.)
  
• “Remember a Previous Life? Maybe You Have a Bad Memory”
  
• “The OScar Open Source car finally debuts!”
  
• “Opinion: Completing the exodus”
  
• “Md., Va. Propose Statewide Smoking Bans” (Amen! Amen!)
  
• “How the world really shapes up”
  
• “Rolling back Bush's tax cuts will pay for proposals, Obama says” (Amen! Amen!)
  
• “QQ: China's New Coin of the Realm?”
  
• “Iran: Violence erupts at UK embassy” (Let’s get this straight: Iran captures 15 British soldiers on a known false charge and forces them into confessing trespassing, the UK is not happy about it, and then the Iranians get violent about it, especially as the UK refuses to admit any wrongdoing. Does Iran’s behavior sound mature, let alone legitimate, to anyone? If anyone should be apologizing and kowtowing, it should be Iran. If they fail to do so, they are clearly a bunch of losers who are too childish to admit they are in the wrong.)

Today’s weird thing, thanks to Erin, is “The Schlepping Through the Alps Passover Greeting”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Pesah.

Aaron

april foolis day

hey dudes!

aaarons quittin da blog yeah thats rite hes run off 2 get marryd 2 this hot chikk so hes gone probly 4 ever so the blog s mine its all mine buwahahahaha!!!! yeah im like totally in charge of this blog so ill post some useless crud

news 4 u
web news readers have greater attention span study, which s good 4 all u readers of this stupid blog
local man would like fries with that
electron band structure n germanium my butt
what the heck s n my food which s much weirder then anything u see posted here

2 days weird thing s the original hamster dance it looks like there was this big conspiracy & the hamster dance was stolen from someone else enjoy