Today’s news and commentary:
On Thin Ice
There was this fella with a parrot and this parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type and the bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be to much so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him repeatedly and yells,
— Quit it!
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears even more than ever. Then the guy locks the bird in the kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird curses even more than before! At this point, the guy is so angry the he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes, but then it suddenly gets very quite. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple minutes of silence, he’s so worried that he opens the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man’s outstretched arm and says,
— I’m awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.
The man is astounded. He can’t understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot continues saying,
— By the way, what did the chicken do?