Tuesday, November 15, 2005

13 Marheshwan 5766/15 November 2005: National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day


Scary book of the day: Eurabia: The Euro-Arab Axis by Bat Ye’or. I finished this book over Shabbath, and it explains a lot about the way the European Union collectively behaves. The premise is basically that in exchange for oil and cheap labor from the Arab world as well as create an alliance that rivals the USA for power, Europe’s politicians have agreed to turn a blind eye to anything evil the Islamic countries do, submit their countries to Islamization, and oppose the USA and Israel. Essentially, Europe has become a dhimmi superstate. I would also like to note that according to the book Christianity among some people in Europe is being effectively syncretized with Islam via glorification of the the jihad against Israel and promotion of anti-Semitism/anti-Zionism. Jesus would definitely be appalled.

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.


The 14 Laws of Cat Physics

1. Law of Cat Inertia: A cat will remain at rest unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of a can of cat food.
2. Law of Cat Thermodynamics: Heat flows from a warmer body to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which all heat flows to the cat.
3. Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance and time directly proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
4. Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep in people beds and in a position that is as uncomfortable for humans as possible.
5. Law of Resistance: A cat's resistance varies in direct proportion to a human's desire for it to do something.
6. Law of Energy Conservation: Cats know that energy can be neither created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
7. Law of Pill Rejection: Any pill given to a cat will be rejected at the speed of a bullet.
8. Law of Refrigerator Observation: By watching the refrigerator door long enough, the cat can will a human to come along, open the door, and take out something worthy of eating.
9. Law of the Scratching Post: A cat will reject formal cat scratching posts in favor of the most expensive piece of furniture in the house.
10. Law of Cat Magnetism: Clothing attracts cat hair in direct proportion in how dark it is.
11. Law of Doors: Cats don't allow closed doors in any room, Once you've opened a door, it's not necessary for them to use it. Instead, they like to stand halfway in and out and think about several things while the wind, rain, cold air, or bugs come into the house.
12. Law of Hair-Balls: If you have to throw up a hair-ball, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is not an Oriental rug, shag carpet will do.
13. Law of Attraction: Those humans that are allergic to cats, do not like cats, or are afraid of cats have the most interest to a cat and are the first laps to be sat in.
14. Law of Humans: Humans have 3 primary functions: feed us, play with us and give us attention, and clean the litter box. It is important to maintain one's arrogance so that the humans know who is master of the house. Humans need to know the basic rules. Start by teaching them early, be consistent, and you'll have a smooth running household.
Post a Comment