Thursday, September 20, 2007

8 Tishri 5767: Ten Days of Repentance/National Student Day

Greetings.

Divine misconception of the day: “Children of 'witches' fight social stigma”. First off, witches (in the sense of people with real magic powers) do not exist and they never have existed. (Those who think otherwise are invited to bring their proof to James Randi, who will be happy to fork over a lot of money if it is real.) Secondly, even if witches do exist, it is not fair to brand people as witches without evidence that they are witches. Failure to obtain said evidence will almost inevitably result in innocent people being condemned, ostracized, tortured, and killed. (Poonam Toppo should be applauded for her use of reasoning to show that her grandmother’s alleged behavior was not consistent with what one would expect for a witch.) Thirdly, even if it is clear that one is a witch, it does not automatically follow that one is necessarily responsible for everything bad that happens. One needs to bring evidence linking the suspect with the crime; otherwise, it is quite possible that the witch is in this case innocent. Fourthly, it makes no sense to ridicule someone for being the granddaughter of a witch, even if it is true. People cannot help who their ancestors are. Ridicule only annoys someone over something that they can never change. In short, all this witch-hunting does is scapegoat innocent people.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron



THIS SHOULD (HOPEFULLY) END ALL OF THE 3 BEARS STORIES

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the big table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!", he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?," he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "How many times do we have to go through this? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke up everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the table, it was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-butts downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time . . . . . I HAVEN'T MADE THE DAMN PORRIDGE YET!!!!"
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