A message from the Cybertonian embassy-at-large

Jewish date:  3 Tammuz 5771 (Parashath Balaq).

Today’s event:  Work-a-Holic Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is the most recent statement released by the Cybertonian embassy-at-large, included below.  It was provided to me by an insistent mechanical bird.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

---

From:  Megatron, Ambassador-at-large, Republic of Cybertron

To:  The United Nations of Earth

Re:  Cessation of Major Ground Operations

Dear idiots at the UN:

We are done.  Obviously not completely done, but we've finished the important stuff.  Our two major ground operations are finished and over with, no thanks to any of you worthless losers.

One, we have the Autobots.  As you well know now from your stupid little chatter boxes, the 33rd Battalion of the Cybertonian Army under the command of General Cyclonus entered the territory of the United States of America for the sole purpose of capturing the Autobot population of the Groom Lake military base.  Before landing, we sprayed the area with an anesthetic gas to knock out the humans, taking them out of the equation.  Most of the Autobots instantly surrendered (like anyone would want to go up against our shock troops with plasma-bolt rifles) and the rest made trouble.  The only Autobot fatality was Powerglide, who attempted to use deadly force and was shot down in midair.  The rest we subdued alive, much better than they deserved.  Optimus Prime was especially shameful, attempting to use humans as shields to try to get away.  Those worthless traitors are all locked up now in the brig of the Cybertonian embassy-at-large and they're staying put.

Did I really want to do that?  Simple answer:  NO!  Everyone is sick of this nightmare.  You don't want us on your planet, we don't want to be on your planet, but no one does the obvious so we can leave your planet.  You have to make a giant fuss, and we get blamed for everything, and no one takes any responsibility for anything, you giant bunch of losers who can't even govern yourselves.  It's amazing you haven't nuked each other.  Why do you think President Shockwave authorized us to go ahead and end this nonsense?

And that leads us to the other issue:  Cobra, the bunch of dingleberries who attacked us.  In case you haven't noticed, we have effectively destroyed Cobra, big nasty terrorist organization our to rule the planet.  Nobody liked Cobra and no one was sorry to see it go.  Cobra Island has been conquered and its religious sites razed, and anyone willing to continue the conflict is put in jail.  We have raided Serpentorean strongholds in Somalia, Sudan, and elsewhere and enforced the same terms.  Wherever we have gone, we have suppressed any version of this cult whose adherents won't live in peace with people they don't agree with.  All we did was the only reasonable thing to do, not that it would ever occur to you pinheads.  The threat of Cobra is gone, now and forever, no thanks to any of you.

What I especially dislike is how you just dumped this problem on us.  Who would want to get involved in your pointless little conflicts?  They are always all really stupid and show how incompetent you are at governing yourselves, always letting the least fit be in charge.  When Cobra attacked us, we begged you to do something about them.  Did you?  No.  We deserved it, you told us, so stand there and take your lumps like a good little stooge.  We did what any rational person would do, to fight back against our enemies, and in turn you condemned us, calling us tyrants and monsters.  Really?  If Mexico or Canada attacked the United States, would anyone wonder if the United States fought back?  If China shot missiles at Russia, who would complain at Russia invading China to end the threat?  But if Cobra attacks our embassy, why is it our fault, and why are we the ones who're wrong for ending the threat in the only way possible?  We eliminated Cobra and it is no more.  We attempted to arrest James "Destro" McMullen, XXIV to stand trial and were forced to kill him in self-defense.  We arrested his wife, Anastasia "the Baroness" McMullen, a high official in Cobra, and, finding her psychotic, are currently holding her as we treat her.  And, as has been recently noted in the media, we have recently found and captured the Cobra Commander in Sudan, where he has been hiding for two years.  He is currently undergoing his pretrial screening and suitable legal representation is being sought before he is tried.  In what way have we done anything wrong?  I feel like we have been used, expected to eliminate the threat of Cobra while we are hindered and abused for our efforts.  What for?  Because you're too lazy?  Or maybe the fight against Cobra kept bringing up too many uncomfortable issues.  I really don't care about your issues, you bunch of useless crybabies.  Just work on them!

And now we come to the fun part.  After conquering Cobra Island and putting a whole lot of humans in jail, we don't really trust you to take over.  Face it:  most of your jails are not therapeutic, which is like saying water isn't dry.  You warehouse prisoners and let them act like the wild animals you are and, big surprise, they don't come out any better.  What's the point of a penal system which makes people worse?  Maybe if you bothered to stop throwing people in jail for "crimes" which are trivial or stupid and invest in actually fixing the problems that land people in jail then you wouldn't need to lock away so many people.  No, that's too obvious for you.  We are not turning over prisoners to a bunch of sadists out for revenge, and let's face it, your "justice" systems are mostly systems of organized revenge.

Because you're too incompetent when it comes to criminals, we are forced to make Freedom Island (formerly Cobra Island) an extraplanetary territory of the Republic of Cybertron.  This will let us rehabilitate the prisoners without having to take them off-planet (we have previously considered establishing a penal colony on Venus, which has a similar surface gravity to Earth, but there is no way we could seriously do that without terraforming the planet, and there's no way we're doing you that kind of favor).  So, all the former Cobra terrorists will be fixed as best as we can manage, and the rest will be kept humanely.  At the trial of Anastasia McMullen, it was determined that she was responsible but psychotic, and as she has not improved as much as we'd like, she will probably remain the rest of her life in custody for the safety of herself and others.  The Cobra Commander will probably end up with the same verdict.  Quite a few former Cobra terrorists have shown remarkable improvement and we hope to substantially reduce the population in captivity over the next few years.  So much for warehousing.

As for the Freedom Islanders living in peace, so far the civilian government seems to be working, and with a military base housing the 33rd Battalion of the Cybertonian Army there, I doubt we'll have any serious problems.  The island also gives us somewhere to put Transformers who do not want to return to Cybertron proper, namely the Autobrat subfaction which schismed from the Autobots.  Most of them seem enthusiastic about the idea.  Based on her service to both the Republic and her comrades, President Shockwave has appointed the former Autobrat commander Arcee to the position of Ambassador to Earth.  You can expect to see a lot of her and her staff (both Transformers and humans) around New York, and if they are not respected, they will have our troops to answer to.

Do you like us there?  Of course not.  And here's what you have to do to make us vanish:

• Every remaining Cobra terrorist everywhere must vanish, either rehabilitated or dead.  Attacking us forfeits their existence.  There's still tiny pockets of Cobra out there, and until they're all gone, we're not leaving.
• Every stray Autobot is caught.  There's still many not accounted for, and every single one has to be caught.  They had no business coming to your planet and they won't be left behind.
• The government of Freedom Island has to stay stable and democratic.  So far, so good.
• No one else stupidly attacks us like Cobra did.  We've gotten a number of threats from governments, corporations, private organizations, and several religious sects.  Face it, we wiped out Cobra.  Don't make us wipe out the rest of you losers.  I already have a long list of groups I'm itching to blow away.

Frankly, much as the thought of us staying on this planet disgusts me with every circuit of my being, you need us.  Face it:  we are attacked and defend ourselves and we get yelled at for "illegally occupying" territory on Earth.  How screwed-up can you be?  Or take this new movie about us, Transformers:  Dark of the Moon, coming out ironically just as the reign of the Autobots on Earth has come to an end.  Director Michael Bay is as suckered by Autobot propaganda as he is juvenile.  The movie continues his usual trademark assault on the senses, idiotic writing, graphic violence,  ignorance of basic physics, and open prejudice.  I have been shown a number of bad movies by such directors as Roger Corman and Ed Wood, and I have found them masterpieces in comparison.  It's not bad enough to portray the "Decepticons" or Sentinel Prime (a patriot of Autobot ancestry who turned over evidence to the police of Ironhide's treason) as enemies; he has to take every opportunity to denigrate us.  I don't know which is worse, that anyone spent any money to make this or that anyone will pay to see it.  In any case, Megan Fox was sorely missed and Dr. Ken Jeong was totally wasted.

You people suck.

So you're stuck with us.  Someone has to be the good example because most of you are clueless and stupid and destroying your planet.  Instead of complaining and condemning us, you ought to see what we're doing right.  Maybe then you'll have a chance of fixing the problem.

Screw you all.  I hope you losers all die horrible, painful deaths, and you deserve it.

Megatron, ambassador-at-large, Republic of Cybertron, etc., etc., etc.

Edit that into something diplomatic before you send it off, Laserbeak.  I don't need another embarrassment like the last thing that idiot Ravage wrote.

“Stop-Motion Auditorium Pac-Man”

Jewish date:  24 Siwan 5771 (Parashath Ḥuqqath).

Today’s events:  Forgiveness Day, Beautician's Day, International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking (UN), International Day in Support of Victims of Torture (UN)

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “Stop-Motion Auditorium Pac-Man”, the point of which I cannot identify.  Enjoy (or be puzzled or something) and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

It is a good day to die

 Jewish date: 15 Siwan 5771 (Parashath Shelaḥ Lekha).

Today’s events:  Eat Your Vegetables Day, Fresh Veggies Day, World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought (UN).

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is “The Cling-on’s”:



Enjoy, share the weirdness, Shabbath shalom, and live long and prosper

’Aharon/Aaron

“Knitting and Crochet Patterns in Art”

Jewish date:  8 Siwan 5771 (Parashath BeHa‘alothekha).

Today’s event:  National Iced Tea Day.

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing, courtesy of Barry, is “Knitting and Crochet Patterns in Art”.  This article details all sorts of ridiculous things people have done lately with knitting and crocheting.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

“Turbo Encabulator”

Greetings.

Jewish date:  18 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath BeMidhbar).

Today’s events:  Buy a Musical Instrument Day, International Day for Biological Diversity, Emancipation Day (Puerto Rico).

Today’s weird thing is “Turbo Encabulator”, which is an impressive-sounding piece of pure nonsense.  
Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of automated musical instruments

Greetings.

Jewish date:  16 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s events:  Be a Millionaire Day, National Bike to Work Day, Pick Strawberries Day, Weights and Measures Day, Emancipation Day (Florida), Malcolm X Day.

Also:  Tomorrow is Metric Mitochondria Day.  Celebrate our obligate symbiotes and the International System of Units!

Today’s weird thing is “100 year old violin playing machine”, which is a just plain freaky-looking musical instrument.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom..

’Aharon/Aaron

Bad ponies, beware!

Greetings.

Jewish date:  13 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath Beḥuqqothay).

Today’s events:  Pack Rat Day, World Telecommunication Day (UN), Mary McLeod Bethune Week.

NOTE:  On 7 May 2005 at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology there was a time traveler convention.  Time travelers allegedly showed up.  If you ever get a time machine, be then and there or be square!

Today’s weird things are two pictures I took on Sunday.

This seems to be what happens to bad ponies.

Even if the pony really deserved it, these colorful tribbles are nevertheless shocked.

(Yes, I know these are just toys at the local mall, but I felt the urge to perform some creative interpretation.)

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of LEGOs

Image of LEGOs via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  2 ’Iyyar 5771 (Parashath ’Emor).

Today’s events:  National Nurses Day, Space Day and International Space Day, Beverage Day, International Tuba Day, International No Diet Day, Military Spouses Day, National Tourist Appreciation Day.

Today’s weird thing is Smallworks Brickcase, a LEGO-compatible case for the iPhone.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of retrocomputing

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  4 Nisan 5770 (Parashath Meṣora‘).

Today’s events:  Draw a Picture of a Bird Day, All is Ours Day, International Feng Shui Awareness Day.

Today’s weird thing is the Commodore 64.  You may well ask why an ancient computer merits being the weird thing of the day.  And the answer is:  it is not.  According to “Commodore 64 Goes on Sale. Amiga, VIC-20 Coming Soon”, somebody actually has the audacity to resurrect ancient computers after a fashion. e.g., with 1-terabyte hard drives and 4 gigabytes of RAM, though with practically identical outsides, and sell them.  Enjoy, share the weirdness and nostalgia, Shabbath shalom, and let me know when this character puts out a modernized NeXT Cube running Mac OS X 10.7.

’Aharon/Aaron

Beware of censors

Greetings.

Jewish date:   1 Nisan 5771 (evening) (Parashath Meṣora‘).

Today’s events:  Hug a Newsman Day, School Librarian Day, Walk Around Things Day, Tell a Lie Day, National Repot your Plant Day, National Reading a Roadmap Day, International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action (UN).

Today’s weird thing is “Prime Time TV Censorship”:



The graph correctly notes the inconsistencies in TV censorship in the United States.  I am not clear how harmful seeing any of the things in the graph on TV really are, but the fairly lenient treatment violence gets is pretty odd.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

’Aharon/Aaron

Coca-Cola for Godzilla

Greetings.

Jewish date:  19 ’Adhar Sheni 5771 (Parashath Shemini).

Today’s events:  International Waffle Day, Pecan Day, International Day of Remembrance of the Victims of Slavery and the Transatlantic Slave Trade (UN), Independence Day (Greece, Cyprus).

I think I am going to be going through the collection of pictures I have taken here in Israel but have not shown to anyone.

These are photographs of the Coca-Cola plant in Bene Beraq.  Notice that the architect got somewhat silly and made several buildings look like soda cans.

Caption:  The last thing the White King expected was to be assaulted by black pawns on Lassale Street in Tel ’Aviv.

This actually is Lassale Street in Tel ’Aviv, but these are not chess pieces.  Rather, they are part of a barrier system to keep vehicles and pedestrians separate.  They have these all over Israel, but few look as much like chess pieces as these ones.

This last one is more puzzling that strictly weird.  This is a mouse or other rodent which showed up right outside of synagogue recently.  (And I apologize for the picture quality, but I do not take my high-quality camera everywhere with me, and I had the choice of using my cell phone under suboptimal conditions or not photographing the rodent at all.)  What I do not understand is why the rodent let me photograph it rather than running for its life.  (Humans are huge compared with most rodents and thus very dangerous to them.)

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

Theodore Herzl, superhero of Israel

Greetings.

Jewish date:  5 ’Adhar Sheni 5771 (Parashath Wayyiqra’).

Today’s events:  Worship of Tools Day, Johnny Appleseed Day, Nametag Day, World Plumbing Day.  (I got a complaint last time I posted for labeling Black History Month a “quasi-holiday” because it is not religious.  It is hard to claim that any of today’s quasi-holidays or whatever you want to call them are not events.)

I started work recently, and I am trying to fit things, including blogging, into my new schedule.  One of the things that I do manage to do is photography, which works out nicely since there are a lot of unusual things here in Israel all over the place.  (Actually you could probably say the same for most places, but I happen to be here to do the photography.)  I found myself starting to post unusual pictures on Facebook recently, and since blog is “Weird thing of the day”, it occurs to me that this might be a better place to be posting such things.  So on with today’s weird things:

Caption:  Beware, evildoers!  Theodore Herzl is watching from above, waiting for the right moment to strike!

Actually this picture was taken from a bus on Tuesday while passing through Herṣeliyyah. My caption is probably not what the people who created this water-tower art intended and should not be construed as historically accurate.

Caption:  Little did I know when I moved to Giv‘ath Shemu’el that there are Smurfs living here.

Yeah, that’s not really not Smurf houses you’re looking at.  Israeli architects have a lot of fun creating art for cities and towns, and the theme of Giv‘ath Shemu’el includes giant mushroom sculptures.  I took this picture yesterday on the way back home from the post office.  There are a bunch of other giant mushroom sculptures on Jabotinsky Street.  (Somebody please remind me to try photoshopping them together into a whole Smurf village at some point.)

And finally, one that some might find somewhat uncomfortable.  Those who feel squeamish should skip to the end.

These are two earthworms which infiltrated my apartment and were caught today.  The lower one got caught under the door and was somewhat mangled.  The upper one somehow made it all the way to under my coffee table, where it got covered in dust bunnies.  This picture was taken after I apprehended the invaders and put them outside, where I hope they will live happy and healthy lives.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

“Möbius Story: Wind and Mr. Ug”

Greetings.

Jewish date:  20 ’Adhar Ri’shon 5771 (Parashath Wayyaqhel).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Black History Month, National Tortilla Chip Day

Please forgive me for taking forever to post again.  I do not begin working until next Wednesday, and being unemployed while trying to adapt to a new country (including ’ulpan, which is Hebrew language classes) does not make for the most regular schedule.  I expect to be very busy starting Wednesday, trying to adapt to the new job on top of twice-weekly ’ulpan, but at least I should have a better idea where I can fit things into my schedule.

Today’s weird thing is “Möbius Story: Wind and Mr. Ug”.



This is a mathematical story, but one designed to be accessible to everyone.  Enjoy and share the weirdness, especially with anyone you know who loves beet peel.

Aaron

Ra‘ananah, Ra‘ananah, hey hey hey, goodbye

Greetings.

Jewish date:  3 ’Adhar Ri’shon (evening) (Parashath Teṣawweh).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Black History Month, Chinese New Year, Lame Duck Day, National Frozen Yogurt Day, International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation (UN).

This is my first post on this blog in about two months.  During this time I have moved out of the absorption center in Ra‘ananah to an apartment in Giv‘ath Shemu’el.  (Hence the silly title of this post.)  This took a lot of time and effort, as I had to not only find the apartment, but also get everything properly set up.  Also taking up time is that Tron Legacy came out, and besides seeing it twice in theaters, I spent a lot of time working on a review which is somewhat different from any I've done before.

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is the latest astrological “scandal”.  The badly-named article “Sign of the times: Astrology story soars like a comet” details the shock and denial many people who believe in astrology have felt when an astronomer correctly noted that the signs of the zodiac are not where astrologers claim they are, nor have they been there for centuries.  The astrologers have also been forgetting to mention that the zodiac passes through 13 constellations, not 12.  (See a diagram of the when the Sun is really in the zodiac and when here.)  What the article completely fails to note, to the point of being funny, is that astrology does not work at all; rather than try to make the argument myself, I point you to “Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions: Astrology” and let an astronomer do it for me.

As an added bonus, I also present “Horoscoped”, which analyzes the vague and useless verbiage of horoscope columns.  Note the visualized version and the meta-prediction.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of the second coming of System 7

Greetings.

Jewish date:  2 Ṭeveth 5771 (Parashath Vayyiggash).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  International Anti-Corruption Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “How to stop a hurricane (good luck, by the way)”
• “Zoo Illogical: Ugly Animals Need Protection from Extinction, Too”
• “Breaking our link to the "March of Progress"”
• “The gorgeous molecular biology movie that's taken the world by storm”
• “Japan’s Robot Picks Only the Ripest Strawberries”

Image of a Macintosh SE via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is this simulation of a Macintosh SE running System 7.0.  I have no idea why anyone did this, but it may be fun for the nostalgic, especially since the simulation includes some games and a screen saver.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Ḥanukkah.

Aaron

Can flash drives explode?

Greetings.

Jewish date:  26 Kislew 5771 (Parashath MiqQeṣ).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  International Day of Persons with Disabilities (UN).

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Arsenic-Eating Bacteria Opens New Possibilities for Alien Life”
• “Recommended Daily Vitamin D Intake Gets a Boost” and “Vitamin D”
• “The antidepressant reboxetine: A headdesk moment in science”
• “Bat resembling Star Wars Yoda discovered in Papua New Guinea rainforest”
• “What’s with the new cough and cold products?”
• “Computer identifies the most boring day in history”

Today’s weird thing is the USB Grenade Flash Drive.  This is something you absolutely should not take through Israeli security.  You should have no trouble taking it through American security, as the TSA is reportedly more interesting in finding out what you look like naked rather than if you are carrying anything dangerous.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, happy Ḥanukkah, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

The mother (or monster) of all weird crossovers

Greetings.

Jewish date:  19 Kislew 5771 (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Black Friday (USA), Buy Nothing Day.

Note:  Currently I am working with an unreliable Internet connection, so I plan on keeping my posts short for the moment to increase the chances that they actually get through.

Today’s weird thing is something bizarre working its way virally across the Internet, what may be the mother (or monster) of all weird crossovers, “Cookie Monster Auditions for Saturday Night Live”:



Considering the normally low quality of Saturday Night Live, even if Cookie Monster is not at his best, it would obviously be their best show ever.  Since Cookie Monster was clearly trying to limit himself to a short time in making this video, there is an obvious skit which was left out:  a Saturday Night Live parody of Sesame Street, which might well involve humans dressing up as Muppet characters and discussion of some aspect of life on Sesame Street not normally discussed.  The alternative might be a Muppet-only version of Saturday Night Live, which might well have Muppets pretending to be humans parodying something else.

Oh, if you are on Facebook, please join the (as of this typing) 87,941 other people who like it to encourage NBC to make a Cookie Monster-hosted episode of Saturday Night Live a reality.

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and Shabbath shalom.

’Aharon/Aaron

PS:  This post was brought to you by the letters L, E, and the number 5.

Where do superheroes buy their magic spandex costumes?

Greetings.

Jewish date:  18 Kislew 5771 (evening) (Parashath Wayyeshev).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  National Opt-Out Day, Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day, Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day.

I am alive and well, currently in Ra‘ananah, Israel.  I have been here for a week and am living under a name which transliterates as ’Aharon Shelomoh ’Edhelman.  And I have been very busy and very tired.  Making ‘aliyyah (moving to Israel) is a frightfully complicated processes.  Much of what I have done is doing things which need to get done as soon as possible:  getting an identity document, signing up with a health organization, getting a bank account, and telling the Ministry of Absorption so they deposit money in said account for the next few months.  There has also been a lot of looking for and buying various things necessary that were not taken in my suitcases, such as hangers, food, and kitchen utensils.  (Yet I still do not have a hotplate.  Or a cell phone.)  I have also started studying in ’ulpan (Hebrew classes); I tested as fairly advanced and have been bored by the grammar review and find exercises requiring impromptu acting much more interesting.

Image via Wikipedia

Given how tired I am, I will proceed straight to today’s tonight's weird thing, courtesy of Barry:  The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company, which bills itself as “Online purveyors of high quality crimefighting merchandise”.  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and, please, someone send me something that lets me fly.

’Aharon/Aaron

Sherlock Holmes is crazy

Greetings.

Jewish date:  2 Kislew 5771 (Parashath Wayyeṣe’).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  World Freedom Day, National Young Readers Day.

Yes, I am not posting much these days.  My plans to move to Israel have advanced considerably.  I will be making the move on November 15-16, and getting everything ready takes a lot of time and effort.  Expect posts to be few and far between for a while.

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is Sherlock.  This is a reimagining of Sherlock Holmes and company set in 2010.  What is truly unusual about it is that while every other reimagining or other work which tries to change the setting of a story which your humble blogger is aware of misunderstands the characters or story and screws it up, this one makes extraordinary efforts to do it right—and it pays off.  The new Sherlock really does act and think like the original, only doing it in a modern setting.  E.g., he examines John Watson’s cell phone and deduces from it a lot about John.  There are also attempts at exploring aspects of Sherlock and John which are often ignored.  Sherlock, it is noted—in language more sophisticated than I am about to use—is crazy.  John, who in this version served in the military in Afghanistan rather than India, suffers psychologically from his war experiences; this also feeds into why he teams up with Sherlock.  I could go on, but there are other things I need to do.  But before I post, due note that you can watch all three episodes (“A Study in Pink”, “The Blind Banker”, and “The Great Game”) on-line through December 7.  I understand that further episodes are planned.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of car-eating rabbits

Greetings.

Jewish date:  23 Marḥeshwan 5771 (Parashath Toledhoth).

Today’s quasi-holiday:  Halloween.

Worthy causes of the day:  “Call on ABC News to drop Andrew Breitbart”, “Tell ABC News: Don't give Andrew Breitbart a platform to spread his lies.”, “Jewish Rights on the Temple Mount - Petition Spot”, “Unite Deserving Dads and Their Children! - The Petition Site”, “Stop Iceland's Cruel Whale Slaughter - Take Action Today @ The Rainforest Site”, “Stop the Yellowstone Bison Slaughter - Take Action Today @ The Animal Rescue Site”, and “Take Action: The Senate Must Act!”.

I would like to apologize for having not posted anything for about three weeks.  This is has been due to two factors:  1) I have had a respiratory infection, which is not conducive to getting much of anything done.  2) I have been working on a review of Robert Graves’s The White Goddess, which is a decidedly nontrivial book.  Having reached a stage where the review is more or less presentable, I present it without further adieu on Divine Misconceptions and resume posting here, too.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “It’s alive! New computer learns language like a human, almost.”
• “Is killing yourself adaptive? That depends: An evolutionary theory about suicide”
• “Lay Rescuers: Try CPR without Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation”
• “Love Lessens Pain”
• “The True Size of Africa”
• “No high-tech high five, this robot uses a beanbag for a hand”
• “Shark Bytes:  How and Where Sharks Attack”
• “Vans drive themselves across the world - Rome to China without a prang”
• “WHEN BAD TASTES GOOD: DISCOVERY OF TASTE RECEPTORS IN THE LUNGS COULD HELP PEOPLE WITH ASTHMA BREATHE EASIER”:  I cannot make up something like this either.
• “What does HIV sound like? [Audio]”
• “Have a Heart: Donate Your Pacemaker”

Image which Zemanta thought was relevant via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Car-Eating Rabbits Invade Denver Airport”.  I cannot make up something like this.  Really.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of The Gong Show

Greetings.

Jewish date:  3 Marḥeshwan 5771 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Columbus Day (USA), Thanksgiving (Canada), Native American Day, Indigenous Peoples Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Alternative Biomedical Treatments for Autism: How Good Is the Evidence?”:  Long story made short:  pretty bad for the most part.

Today’s weird thing is the Country Western Song Generator, which spouts out lyrics like:

I met her on probation all hunched over; I can still recall that little hat she wore;  She was chewin' on a hangnail in the twilight,      and I knew I'd have to scrape her off the floor; Her rabbi said I'd hate her dog forever; She said to me she loved my one blue eye; But who'd have thought she'd run off on 'The Gong Show'; I now can kiss my credit cards goodbye.

This utility should be useful for song writers who completely lack creativity.  Or perhaps for musicians looking to see if anyone is paying any attention to lyrics.  Enjoy (or feel horribly depressed or something) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of the ground moving beneath your feet

Image via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  2 Marḥeshwan 5771 (Parashath Lekh-Lekha).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  National Cake Decorating Day, World Mental Health Day (UN), National Angel Food Cake Day, 42 Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Tell the DOJ: Investigate the Chamber of Commerce's campaign spending”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Biggest Genome Ever”
• “An Asteroid Smashup”
• “Old tracks show protodinosaurs emerged millions of years earlier than previously thought”
• “Regulators consider more rigorous examination of consumer genetic tests for serious diseases”
• “Smarter Than You Think - Google Cars Drive Themselves, in Traffic”
• “Longreach life-saving bazooka wins James Dyson Award for Australian inventor”
• “So, How Long Would It Take to Travel to That Exciting New Exoplanet?”
• “The 100-year leap”
• “Linguists Discover New Language in Remote India”

Today’s weird thing is “650 Million Years in 1 Min. and 20 Sec.”, which animates continental drift.  And the continents have moved around quite a bit.


650 Million Years in 1 Min. and 20 Sec.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of horrific iPad hacks

Greetings.

Jewish date:  27 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Long Walk Day, World Teachers’ Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Brooklyn Father, Son Launch 'Homemade Spacecraft'”:  I cannot make something like this up.  And what they did seems so ridiculously easy that I am amazed that more people are not doing something like this.
• “Planet Hunters Discover a World That Could Harbor Life”
• “Giant extinct penguin skipped tuxedo for more colorful feathers”
• “Horizontal Gene Transfer: Bacteria Transmit Genetic Code without Sex”
• “Can You Hear Me Now? The Truth about Cell Phones and Cancer”:  No, cell phones do not cause cancer.  And they cannot.

Today’s weird thing is “iPad runs Windows 95, universe stays intact”, a bizarre hacking stunt.  Included is this horrifying video:



Enjoy (or be afraid) and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Asteroid spaceships

Greetings.

Jewish date:  26 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Noaḥ).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Ten-Four Day, National Golf Day, World Animal Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Stop 'Corn Sugar' Now!”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Wasted Food Equals Wasted Energy”
• “Empathy’s failures”:  This is a scary look into the human conscience.
• “Reflective "death ray" torments Vegas sunbathers”:  Thank Barry for pointing this one out.
• “Ten Worst Passwords on the Web”:  If you use a password like any of these, please consider changing it.  All of these are pretty lame.
• “Every single Republican Senate hopeful is against climate change action”:  I am trying to stay out of American politics right now, preparing as I am to move to Israel, but this just scares me.
• “No U.N. 'Alien Ambassador' as the Bets Roll In”
• “The Pink Panther of Swindon: White cat is abandoned after guerilla grooming session leaving her so bright she 'glows in the dark'”:  Think Eureka the Pink Kitten from L. Frank Baum’s Oz books.
• “FBI drive for encryption backdoors is déjà vu for security experts”
• “This is a news website article about a scientific finding”
• “A Look At The Technologies and Industries Senators Leahy and Hatch Would Have Banned In The Past”
• “Insect Dinners - Waiter, There’s Soup in My Bug”
• “Dying to Eat: A Graphical View of U.S. Obesity”
• “WTF, kids swearing earlier now, researcher says”

Image via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Hello, want to kill some time?”, which lets you install a JavaScript bookmarket in your browser which lets you shoot items in the current Web-page with an Asteroids-style spaceship..  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and please don’t shoot my blog.

Aaron

Beware of bread

Greetings.

Jewish date:  19 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Ancestor Appreciation Day, Banned Book Week, World Tourism Day.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Stand Up for Veterans - They Stood Up for Us - The Petition Site”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Dying to Eat: A Graphical View of U.S. Obesity”
• “Insect Dinners - Waiter, There’s Soup in My Bug”:  I cannot make something like this up.

Image featuring the insidious substance via Wikipedia

Today’s weird thing is “Bread Kills!”, which is a very silly illustration of bad epidemiological reasoning, specifically that fallacies of equating correlation with causation and the assumption that preceding alone is a proof of causation.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Beware of Starfleet kitchen utensils

Image marginally relevant to today’s weird thing via Wikipedia

Greetings.

Jewish date:  18 Tishri 5771 (Parashath Bere’shith).

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Banned Book Week, European Day of Languages, National Pancake Day, Gold Star Mother’s Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “An alien's eye view of the solar system (w/ video)”
• “Lost language unearthed in a letter”
• “Million Dollar Comma”
• “We Only Trust Experts If They Agree with Us”:  This is a sad commentary on what people believe.
• “Salmonella Take Advantage of Our Battle Plan”

Today’s weird thing is the Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter, which is described in this short video:

(There is also a Star Trek Enterprise Bottle Opener, but the pizza cutter is cooler and more useful in a fight against Klingons.)  Enjoy, share the weirdness, and live long and prosper.

Aaron

Beware of ballistic marshmallows

Greetings.

Jewish date:  13 Tishri 5771.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  World Gratitude Day, International Banana Festival, Elephant Appreciation Day, Miniature Golf Day, International Day of Peace, Independence Day (Armenia).

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Intel wants to charge $50 to unlock stuff your CPU can already do”:  You do realize, I hope, that this is an invitation for hackers to write their own unlocking code to avoid paying the $50.
• “The Quadrotor Drone Learns Several Terrifying New Tricks”

Today’s weird thing is the Marshmallow Mforcer Semi-Automatic Pistol, a weapon which fires marshmallows.  This should be useful when fighting foes made out of tissue paper.

Image of hint via Wikipedia

Special bonus weird thing:  Stay Puft Caffeinated Gourmet Marshmallows.  Apparently life sometimes imitates corny movies.  (Hint:  Ghostbusters reference.)

Enjoy, share the weirdness, and DUCK!

Aaron