19 'Av 5766 * 13 August 2006: "The Procrastinator's Creed"

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• Israeli cabinet approves UN cease-fire deal 24-0 (What the gezornenblat are they thinking?)
  
• “To the PM, from a mother”
  
• “Olmert under fire over cease-fire” (What the gezornenblat is he thinking?)
  
• “Uranium ‘pearls’ before slime”
  
• “Text of UN Security Council resolution 1701 adopted Friday” (No good will come of this.)
  
• “Reutersgate strikes other news outlets”
  
• “Lebanon: Next Steps?”
  
• “Study Finds That a Type of Cancer in Dogs Is Contagious”
  
• “What a cease fire hudna means for the Arabs”
  
• “Muslims Upset by Bush's Remarks” (The fact that Muslims are the ones behind most of the terrorism on the planet seems to have escaped them.)
  
• “Fla. man, 86, pays $1 ticket from 1946”
  
• “101 ways to massacre The Bard”

Today’s weird thing is something amusing from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron

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PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED


I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.