Tonight starts Ro’sh hashShanah (the Jewish New Year, or one of them anyway; we have four per year). You still have some time to buy a new fruit, apples, and honey; and to bake a honey cake!
One of the more unusual practices of Ro’sh hashShanah is the consumption of symbolic foods, which are a sort of reified prayer based on puns. The one I recommend, since it’s based on a pun in English so people in the US can actually understand it, is that one consumes a salad of lettuce, half a raisin, and celery to communicate “let us have a raise in salary”.
Today’s news and commentary:
- “The Jewish New Year (1992)”
- “'There's a rat in the corner!'” (Interesting and perfectly valid spin of an old law included.)
- “Teeny Linux PCs proliferate”
- “Why give money to beggars on the street?”
- “Man's lost gnome attends Steelers game”
- “Googling for ATM Master Passwords”
God just loves hearing from them!
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have?
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
If you watch me in Church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me.
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Who draws the lines around the countries?
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in Church. Is that okay?
What does it mean, You are a Jealous GOD? I thought You had everything.
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? because if You did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway.
(But I am not going to tell You who I am.)
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
If we come back as something--Please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
If You give me a genie like Aladdin, I will give You anything You want, except my money or my chess set.
My brother is a rat !! You should give him a tail. Ha! Ha!
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying.
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. He's just kidding, isn't he?
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
-- Love Chris
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
The bad people laughed at Noah- "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do.
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already.
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.