Tuesday, February 28, 2006

30 Shevat 5766 * 28 February 2006: Ro'sh Hodhesh 'Adhar/Public Sleeping Day/Shrove Tuesday/National Pancake Day

Greetings.

I know we had a National/International Pancake Day last week. Go figure.

And now to clean out my “for the blog” folder:Enjoy, and happy new month.

Aaron

Friday, February 24, 2006

26 Shevat 5766 * 24 February 2006: International Pancake Day

Greetings.

And now for today’s news:Today’s weird thing is a little something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron



THROUGH THE EYES OF CHILDREN.......
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

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Children on Religion.....
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

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A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

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After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he were ill, and said. "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."



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A WISE LITTLE GIRL
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
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TOO ROUGH
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
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SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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THE PRESSED LEAF
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!!!"

Thursday, February 23, 2006

25 Shevat 5766 * 23 Februrary 2006: National Dog Biscuit Day

Greetings.

Today’s weird news:Today’s weird thing is “Quantum computer works best switched off”. (I absolutely cannot make something like this up.) Enjoy.

Aaron

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Worthy cause of the day: Stop AOL's e-mail tax

Greetings.

The good people at MoveOn.org have a new petition up: “Stop AOL's e-mail tax”. Please sign and help keep the Internet democratic and control of what is considered spam soley within the province of the end-user. Thank you..

Aaron

24 Shevat 5766 * 22 February 2006: Green alien lands UFO in field near mountain


Greetings.

This picture I drew trying out a program called Seashore with which I hope to use to draw cartoons for two contests. (It's supposed to be an alien and a UFO.) One contest is the World Union of Jewish Students Global Campaign Against Hatred "Fight hate with humor" Cartoon Contest. The other is that stupid Iranian cartoon contest, whose theme is “Why should the "Palestinian people" pay for the "holocaust" story?” Barry has told me that he E-mailed the people holding the latter contest, and “They are willing to take cartoons which comment on the reason that contest is being held.” We have thus come up with some ideas for cartoons which aim to answer the theme question, only not in a way that would be appreciated by Islamo-fascists. Go forth and speculate, and feel free to send the Iranians cartoons which tell the real reason the Stateless Arabs are suffering. If you do your cartoons right, you ought to be able to submit them to both contests.

And now for today’s news:Finally, I would like to note the article “The Click That Broke a Government's Grip”, which is about a journalist in China who managed to defy the government and evade censorship by proper use of the Internet. In honor of this accomplishment and in order to let people know that government censorship does not work, please feel free to E-mail the URL of the story to others and encourage them to E-mail it to others. Enjoy.

Aaron

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

23 Shevat 5766 * 21 February 2006: International Mother Language Day

Greetings.

In honor of today’s holiday, today’s post is in my mother tongue: English.

Today’s weird things are some stuff Barry sent me and stuff that was accumulating on my desktop. Someone tell the forces of politics and evil to take a week or two off, please.Enjoy.

Aaron

Monday, February 20, 2006

22 Shevat 5766 * 20 Februrary 2006: Washington’s Birthday

Greetings.

Material relevant to today’s quasi-holiday: Urban Legends Reference Pages: Holidays (Presidents Day).

They showed Terminator 3 on TV last night, and I find myself confused about it. The heroine, Kate Brewster, dresses modestly despite being physically attractive, and at no point does she do anything more intimate with the hero, John Connor, than hold hands. For a modern, popular American movie, this is practically unheard of. On the other hand, the plot was little more than excuse to smash as many things as possible within 2.5 hours, so maybe the whole thing is just a fluke.

Today you’re getting a bunch of news, especially since Barry seems determined to keep me from delving into my stash of weird things: Enjoy.

Aaron

Friday, February 17, 2006

19 Shevat 5766 * 17 Februrary 2006

Greetings.

Weird news:Today’s weird thing is “The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome and the Potential Downfall Of American Society”, a statistical article which Barry sent me. The author should have used Poisson regression, of course. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

19 Shevat 5766 * 17 Februrary 2006

Greetings.

Weird news:Today’s weird thing is “The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome and the Potential Downfall Of American Society”, a statistical article which Barry sent me. The author should have used Poisson regression, of course. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

19 Shevat 5766 * 17 Februrary 2006

Greetings.

Weird news:Today’s weird thing is “The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome and the Potential Downfall Of American Society”, a statistical article which Barry sent me. The author should have used Poisson regression, of course. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Prosecuting politicians

Greetings.

I just realized that there is at least one way politicians can be prosecuted, because it has been done before: they can be tried, convicted, and sentenced for war crimes. Now, as we know, George W. Bush has violated the Geneva Conventions, specifically the Third Geneva Convention, which deals with the treatment of prisoners of war. Bush has made flimsy excuses as to why enemy combatants from the Iraq War are not protected by the Geneva Conventions, and he has aided and abetted their torture. Bush is therefore a war criminal, and since government officials are subject to prosecution for war crimes, Bush is subject to prosecution. QED. My next question is how to get him arrested.

Aaron

17 Shevat 5766 * 15 February 2006: "Dammed Beavers!"

Greetings.

I had a wild idea last night. Would it be possible to sue politicians for violation of campaign promises and otherwise lying as a form of fraud? E.g., Bush outright lied to the US about weapons of mass destruction in order to get support for going to war with Iraq. As a result, thousands of people have been killed and wounded. Could Bush not be prosecuted for (at least) manslaughter and be held liable to pay for the care and treatment of all those wounded? Feel free to discuss both on and off this blog.

More news:Today’s weird thing is the true story wandering the Internet “Dammed Beavers!”. Enjoy.

Aaron

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

16 Shevat 5766 * 14 Februrary 2006: Ferris Wheel Day/Valentine's Day

Greetings.

And now another desktop-cleaning update. Someone please tell the Muslims to stop rioting so I do not feel inclined to keep pointing out what a bad idea such behavior is.Enjoy.

Aaron

Monday, February 13, 2006

15 Shevat 5766 * 13 Februrary 2006: Jewish New Year for Crops/Get a Different Name Day

Greetings.

In honor of the Jewish New Year for Crops, I had raisins with my breakfast.

Today you are getting yet another list of things which accumulated on my desktop, including stuff on immature protesters against cartoons. Enjoy.

Greflar the Sarcastic

Sunday, February 12, 2006

14 Shevat 5766 * 12 Februrary 2006: Darwin Day/Lincoln's Birthday

Greetings.

Today is Darwin Day, which celebrates Charles Darwin and evolution. Since evolution is much maligned and misunderstood, I felt it appropriate to give a little relevant material to help shed a little light on the issue. First, I would like to note the National Center for Science Education, which focuses on fighting teaching of creationism (including “intelligent design”) in the public schools. Second, I would like to debunk the misconception that all religious people (at least those of the Abrahamic religions) are creationists. “Churches celebrate Darwin`s birthday” is an article about the Christian celebration of Darwin Day, and the Clergy Letter Project is dedicated towards letting the clergy show their support for evolution. Finally, more on the weird side, I present the “Parodies of the ichthys symbol” article at Wikipedia. I wish I had more material, but I have had other things to work on besides this blog. Those who have good evolution sites, feel free to send me URLs to post. Enjoy.

Aaron

Friday, February 10, 2006

12 Shevat 5766 * 10 February 2006: Umbrella Day

Greetings.

I am feeling better than yesterday, so now you’re getting a large amount of accumulated news:Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Thursday, February 9, 2006

11 Shevat 5766 * 9 February 2006: Toothache Day

Greetings.

Today’s weird thing is something silly and unrealistic from Emily’s collection, included below. (I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I’m too zonked to detail the news.) Enjoy.

Aaron



Sign Your Co-Worker Is A Hacker:

-Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.

-Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.

-When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.

-Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

-Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.

-Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."

-Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.

-Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.

-Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr./Mrs. President."

-You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor "I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

10 Shevat 5766 * 8 February 2006: Kite Flying Day/Mardi Gras

Greetings.

And yet again, I have a weird news update, because I am getting tired of having a folder labeled “לבלוג” (“for the blog”) sitting on my desktop with 15 items in it.Today’s weird thing is “How to Fly a Kite”. Yeah, I know it’s not very weird, but after all the bad news, I figured something relevant to one of today’s holidays and non-political was appropriate. People wishing to celebrate both of today’s holidays simultaneously may want to try flying a really gaudy or festive kite through the streets of New Orleans. Enjoy.

Aaron

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

9 Shevat 5766 * 7 February 2006: Charles Dickens Day

Greetings.

The unbridled, violent protests by Muslims across the planet against a few anti-Muslim cartoons rage on, doing far more damage to the image of Islam than the cartoons could have possibly done. Unsurprisingly, lots of unusual behavior is connected with this whole incident. There is also plenty of pointing out hypocrisy:On a somewhat lighter note (but then again, almost anything without violence is arguably lighter), I am making today’s weird thing “Bottled Water: Nectar of the Frauds?”. Enjoy, and please, get used to the stuff that comes out of the taps.

Aaron

Monday, February 6, 2006

8 Shevat 5766 * 6 February 2006: National Frozen Yogurt Day

Greetings.

Weird news (which seems to be taking over this blog:Today’s weird thing is “Whale soul for sale -- one tragic owner”. Enjoy.

Aaron

Sunday, February 5, 2006

7 Shevat 5766 * 5 February 2006: National Weatherperson's Day

Greetings.

Today I have decided to post on the Danish cartoon controversy, primarily because the way Muslims tend to be handling it is hypocritical and probably doing more to tarnish the image of Islam than the original cartoons. You can find the original cartoons here. “Offensive Cartoons” is a good critique on the hypocrisy of any Muslim complaints about the Danish cartoons. For absurd overreaction to the cartoons, see “Mob torches Danish embassy in Beirut over cartoons”. Finally, on a slightly lighter side, you may want to check out the Dry Bones Blog. Enjoy or be scared or something.

Aaron

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

3 Shevat 5766 * 1 February 2006: Robinson Crusoe Day

Greetings.

Religious fallacy of the day: “One who has little education on a subject obviously knows more on that subject than someone who is much more highly educated on that subject.” (I cannot make up something this stupid. I have encountered this fallacy at least twice. The first time was from an idiot who decided that his doctor was wrong on a medical issue, even though the idiot had no medical training. The second time was by ignoramuses who, despite having such a rudimentary understanding of the concept of religion that they could not conceive of even reading a book on their own, assumed they knew more about the history of wearing tefillin than I did.)

Again I am going to clean off my desktop for weird news:Enjoy or be scared or something.

Aaron