24 Marheshwan 5767 * 15 November 2006: National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: “Teach Kids Peace”. Please sign the petition and stand up against teaching “Palestinian” children hate.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Winter (1982)”
  
• “Smokers urged to quit during Great American Smokeout”
  
• “Cancer Clues from Pet Dogs”
  
• “Kidnapped soldiers' families: Progress too slow” (Olmert, would it kill you to put some pressure on ‘Abbas and Hamas to return the soldiers? Such as putting a strict embargo on Gaza (including no electricity, food, and water) until the soldiers are returned, and then following through rather than giving up?)
  
• “Researcher claims proof of tribe of Ephraim in India”
  
• “Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme”
  
• “Mother sentenced for honor killings”
  
• “Absentee Florida ballot sent with precious stamp”
  
• “Time Magazine Gets Caught Lying”

Today’s weird thing is the List of Crazy Patents, submitted by David. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and patent it as well.

Aaron

23 Marheshwan 5767 * 14 November 2006

Greetings.

Too much is going on in Israel. Go peak over under “Recommended Reading” and grumble about Olmert’s political incompetence.

Today’s weird thing is “Image:Letter to Russia with krokozyabry.jpg”, which is an example of what happens when the wrong character encoding is used. (All hail Unicode, the character set to end all other character sets!) Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

22 Marheshwan 5767 * 13 November 2006: Tefillin Barbie

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Pastor's suicide a cry against Islam?”
  
• “Embrace Christian evangelical support”
  
• “Cabinet cancels Falash Mura aliya cut” (Good. Now why can’t they simply get all the Falash Mura to Israel in one fell swoop?)
  
• “Bowling for God” (Interesting, but 1) not all religious people are conservative, 2) people can be conservative in some aspects but liberal in others—e.g., myself—and 3) independently of conservatism and religiosity, people can be rational, irrational, or mystical. I’d like to see something that takes these into account.)

Today’s weird thing, brought to my notice by Erin and someone who will remain anoymous, is Tefillin Barbie. This idea is the product of someone who is clearly religiously incompetent. (I checked, and she has no clue that when the Gemara’ says “no” without the slightest bit of contest and that when all tradition since then has be in accordance with the Gemara’, the halakhah is without question “no”.) Not to mention that Barbie’s shirt doesn’t go right with a talith and tefillin. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

21 Marheshwan 5767 * 12 November 2006: Freddie and the Chocolate Factory

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Infomercials”
  
• “Kristallnacht and the consequences of hatred”
  
• “U.S. Jewish groups refuse aid to refugees” (This is despicable. How can innocent people forced out of their homes be treated this way?)
  
• “Preventing tragedies”
  
• “Palestinians mark second anniversary of Arafat's death” (All those who think that ‘Abbas is a partner for peace, stand on your heads.)
  
• “Pseudo-secularism and Dhimmitude”

Today’s weird thing is “Freddie and the Chocolate Factory”. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

19 Marheshwan 5767 * 10 November 2006: Marine Corps Day/Sadie Hawkins Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “No ID required” (Be happy.)
  
• “College professor displays $170,000 pen” (Noted to me by Mom.)
  
• “Top U.S college's nerds blow off steam in Cooking 101”
  
• “Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon”
  
• “Double Standard Time”
  
• “Beit Hanoun In Context”
  
• “Organ donation raises religious doubts in Israel” (Suggested to me by Barry, who heard about it from Nancy. I don’t know how accurate this is, but all of you out there who subscribe to a religion or other ideology which values morality: make sure you’re registered as an organ donor. Frankly, I do not like cutting up the dead for replacement parts; it is a gross disrespect to them. But if that’s what it takes to save human lives, then it has to be done, since saving human lives is more important. You may also want to invest in stem cell research and in the development of transgenic pigs whose organs are not recognized as nonself by the human immune system so we can eventually not have to cannibalize the dead.
  
• “Olmert: I can offer Abbas 'a lot'” (Considering that Abbas has done nothing to actually advance peace, is an enemy of Israel, and only really differs from Hamas on tactics, I’d say Olmert is living in a fantasy world and needs to be kicked out of office.)

Today’s weird thing is the Dull Men's Club. (I cannot make something like this up!) Enjoy, Shabbath shalom, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

18 Marheshwan 5767 * 9 November 2006: Two lists of cliches

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Islamic Logic in Action”
  
• “Mo. jail goes pink to handle inmates”
  
• “Bat Ye'or: Europe and the Ambiguities of Multiculturalism”
  
• “Chad: Sudan violence spills over border”
  
• “Israel proposes itself as world desertification research center”
  
• “No Retraction For Indie's False Uranium Libel”
  
• “Woman fatally bitten by snake during church service” (Hence the Jewish saying “We do not rely on miracles.”)
  
• “The Heresy of Intelligent Design by Rabbi Natan Slifkin” (Read this if nothing else in today’s post! Excellent theology therein.)
  
• “The Palestinians aren't broke”
  
• “Could our big brains come from Neanderthals?”
  
• “Nearly 80 stolen garden gnomes discovered in central France”

Today’s weird things are “Clichés Unleashed” and “Writing Fantasy Fiction: Six Cliches to Avoid”. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

17 Marheshwan 5767 * 8 November 2006: Oly-hay Ible-bay

Greetings.

I’m pleased with the 2006 midterm election results. As of this moment, we have (elected) 195 Republicans and 227 Democrats in the House of Representatives, and 49 Republicans, 47 Democrats, and 2 Independents in the Senate (there seem to be 2 seats unaccounted for), putting control of the House squarely in Democratic hands. Furthermore, we now have (elected) 22 Republican governors and 28 Democratic governors. All in all, George W. Bush and company are in big trouble and should expect more trouble implementing their agenda than ever before. Thank YHWH and the American voters!

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Coming Soon...”
  
• “China and U.S. Elections (1976)”
  
• “India recruits beggars to curb spread of AIDS” (I cannot make something like this up.)
  
• “Barbados faces invasion by giant snails”
  
• “Duct tape no magical cure for warts, study finds”

Today’s weird thing is something I came across in a search for English translations of the Christian Bible as source material for my book in progress, Divine Misconceptions. There are a great variety of Christian Bible translations out there on the Web, but none stranger than The Bible in Pig Latin. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

16 Marheshwan 5767 * 7 November 2006: Election Day (US)/Notary Public Day

Greetings.

The photograph on the left is of the latest miniature hippopotamus in my collection, whom I have named “Henry”. Henry was sent to me by Barry as part of my birthday present. He is shown standing on top of a Modern Hebrew-English dictionary, behind him a printout of the amendments we get to vote on today in South Carolina. The picture was taken with a Web-cam I found literally in the trash and had to hold by hand to take the picture; hence the lousy quality.

Note: Go vote if you haven’t already. Show those politicians who’s boss!

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The energy to lead”
  
• “Heads up, blue sky thinking can alienate staff”
  
• “Bishop attacks 'victim' Muslims”
  
• “Uncovered Meat and Rape: Condemning an Honest, Innocent Cleric” (Some people have the strangest, most pathetic attitudes.)
  
• “Darkness Everywhere”
  
• “Palestinians protest Saddam death sentence”
  
• “MK Danny Naveh sues Iranian president”

Today’s weird thing is Snowball Earth, the theory that the planet actually froze over (possibly several times) in the past. Articles on the subject: “The Snowball Earth” and “Research supports 'Snowball Earth' theory”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and get out there and vote.

Aaron

15 Marheshwan 5767 * 6 November 2006: Saxophone Day/Yarov`am ben Nevat Day

Greetings.

Note that tomorrow is election day in the US. If you are registered to vote, please vote for the best (or, more accurately, least bad) candidate. Remember: if we don’t vote, politicians do nothing to make sure we vote for them—a sure way to make sure someone who does not have the public’s best interests at heart gets into office.

Also: In an attack on the mistaken notion that only the prayers of religious people are important and that those of the nonreligious are worthless, I, a (relatively) holy man (given I live in the religious backwater of Charleston, SC), do hereby request that nonreligious people pray on my behalf and bestow their blessing on me for a job, a wife, and children. In the Kol Nidhre prayer, it is declared that it is permissible to worship along with transgressors; as such, no one should feel that they have no business approaching YHWH. With all humans created in the Divine image, we are all equally entitled to have a relationship with YHWH. Since everyone has access, everyone’s prayer, even that of the nonreligious, ought to be worthwhile.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “France: The Al-Dura Defamation Case and the End of Free Speech”
  
• “When friends let their friends smuggle arms”
  
• “Deja vu all over again in Gaza”
  
• “Is marching as a gay the greatest of sins?” (R. Boteach is right. The parade is in very bad taste, but those who will participate in the parade are for the most part a nuisance, not a threat. I am not aware of anyone ever being physically harmed by a gay pride parade, just offended and inconvenienced. If people can be so up in arms over such a parade, how much more so should they get riled up over things that hurt and kill people, such as terrorism.)
  
• “INDIA REMINISCENT OF ISRAEL” (I’m getting the urge to demand that Muslims return all lands taken by force and deception before even talking of peace.)

Today’s weird thing is Mouse Print, which delves in the ominous world of small print. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

14 Marheshwan 5767 * 5 November 2006: Guy Fawkes Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, for some of which Barry is responsible:

• “College urges euthanasia for sickest newborns” (Excuse me? Doesn’t “sanctity of human life” mean anything to these people?)
  
• “Gaza Clans Occupying Political Vacuum”
  
• “Hot for martyrdom” (This is a very odd perspective.)
  
• “Distorting Context through Photography”
  
• “Teen sex increased after abstinence program” (I’m all for promoting abstinence among the unmarried, but lying to people is not the way to do it.)
  
• “New Policy Ends Automatic Medicaid Eligibility for U.S.-Born Infants of Low-Income, Undocumented Immigrants” (Bush clearly has not thought out his policy rationally. Even if one is convinced that illegal immigrants do not deserve aid in any way, shape, or form (and that notion is religiously and morally dubious in the first place), it is shortsighted to make them an easy reservoir of infectious diseases or to withhold preventative care such that the cost to society will be increased in the future. Sometimes the best way to cut costs is, paradoxically, to spend more money!)
  
• “Not a slave, yet she was not free” (The book discussed in this article, Our Nig; or, Sketches from the Life of a Free Black, is available for free on-line.)

Today’s weird thing is Jackson Pollock, which is a sort of do-it-yourself experimental art site. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

12 Marheshwan 5767 * 3 November 2006: Sandwich Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “Master Strategist”
  
• “Euro bills in Germany mysteriously disintegrating”
  
• “Ocean fish, seafood could collapse by 2048: study”
  
• “Baghdad Bulletin: Death Stalks the Campus”
  
• “White House tampering of science, part ∞”
  
• “Open the gates”
  
• “The Wikipedia and the Death of Archaeology”
  
• “The Boomerang Effect”

Today’s weird thing is “Chemistry Humour”. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

11 Marheshwan * 2 November 2006: Plan Your Epitaph Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Capturing Carbon Tips Cost-Benefit Balance in Favor of Conservation”
  
• “A possible way of getting data off a dying hard disk”
  
• “Israel's ecological triumph”
  
• “Egypt poll: Israel, Denmark, US - enemies”

Today’s weird thing is “העורב”, which is a translation of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven” into Hebrew. Enjoy, and share the weirness.

Aaron

10 Marheshwan 5767 * 1 November 2006: Aaron and Barry's (Jewish) birthday/National Author's Day/All Saint's Day

Greetings.

Yes, today is my birthday on the Jewish calendar. (One can never celebrate too many of one’s birthdays.)

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Clock is Ticking”
  
• “Actually, Israel IS At War With the Palestinian People” (Sometimes someone just needs to say what ought to be obvious.)
  
• “Committee calls for law to govern sex selection” (The cases mentioned as to when they allowed it are rather interesting.)
  
• “Modern Humans, Neanderthals May Have Interbred”
  
• “Batman helps Ga. town infested by bats” (Yes, Virginia, there is a Batman. Only not the one you may have been thinking of.)
  
• “Seale of Disapproval”

Today’s weird thing is a very-limited time opportunity to send your name to the Asteroid Belt. I do not know the point of it, but, what the gezornenblat, I’m sending my name to the Asteroid Belt anyway. Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

9 Marheshwan 5767 (day) * 31 October 2006: Halloween/Samhain

Greetings.

I’m still rather tired from the trip, especially since I did all the driving yesterday (from about 9 AM to 4 PM). I have to get around to writing up a description of the highlights...

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Euphemisms (1976)”
  
• “Tunnels of Hate”
  
• “Poll: Haredim most hated group in Israel” (The really interesting part is whom people blame for rifts in Israeli society.)
  
• “Risking his life by speaking out” (HashShem save Choudhury from the government of Bangladesh!)
  
• “NASA announces Hubble repair mission”
  
• “Photo-Ops Are Childs Play”
  
• “The Recycled Truths of Islam”
  
• “Indie's Uranium Charges”
  
• “'Racist' bill delayed in Knesset”
  
• “Rejected: Solomon's wisdom”
  
  

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron

---

These are cute...


A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James virgin?”

****

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor’s wife.”

****

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some e-mail. Amen.”

****

One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

****

And one particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

****

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy,don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

****

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping!”

9 Marheshwan 5767 (night) * 30 October 2006: National Tell A Story Day

Greetings.

I’m back in Charleston. Someone bug me to tell you about the trip later. I’m too tired now.

Bobby Awesome and Liz have been reportedly kidnapped by the Communist Hippopotamus Liberation Organization of Earth in an incident which may be related to their posting to my blog while I was gone. (That’s the story I’m telling, and I’m sticking with it.) More on that if I ever hear more about it.

Today’s weird thing is the Museum of Hoaxes. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Bob the Builder

Hi, I'm Liz and I'm Bobby Awesome's bestest friend ever! I currently have him tied up and shoved in the closet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlSvD9b7hx0 Bob The Builder Dubbed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctmTzsqDc2Y Dora The Explorer Spoof

this weird thing sux!!!!!!!!

aron always puts these stoopid things on this blog so it really SUX DOG KAZUKAS this s a stoopid hiney butt project why couldnt they use real vampires or somethin?????

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20061025/sc_space/vampiresamathematicalimpossibilityscientistsays

n coz this blog sux i will tell u true but scary things about aron

aron has cds 4 the backstreet boys n listens 2 them l the time
aron askd a store window dummy out on a d8 1ce n got turnd down
aron eatz keesh

uh now i guess

i like girlz makin themselvz look good coz we l like babez but this s really stoopid

http://www.yahoo.com/s/421506

Weird thing of the day

Weird thing of the day

1 Marheshwan 5767 * 23 October 2006: Ro'sh Hodhesh

Greetings.

Note that tomorrow I am going to New Haven for a job interview and genetics colloquium at Yale. Since I may well not have Internet access until I get back, there may be no weird thing of the day until then. Sorry.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Song of a Never-Was South” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “The Inadequate Woman”
  
• “Electronic Voting Machines Could Skew Elections”

Today’s weird thing is “Double Parked”, somewhat submitted by Mom. Enjoy, happy new month, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

30 TISHRI 5767 * 22 OCTOBER 2006: RO'SH HODHESH/INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY

GREETINGS.

TODAY’S NEWS AND COMMENTARY:

• “SHOULD EVERY MUSLIM EMULATE PROPHET MUHAMMAD AS THEIR MODEL?”
  
• “NASA AND NOAA ANNOUNCE OZONE HOLE IS A DOUBLE RECORD BREAKER”

TODAY’S WEIRD THING IS “FREE ONLINE GRAPH PAPER / GRID PAPER PDFS”. DON’T ASK ME WHAT THEY WERE THINKING. ENJOY, SHARE THE WEIRDNESS, AND ENJOY YOUR CAPS LOCK.

AARON

28 Tishri 5767 * 20 October 2006: Aaron rants on abuse of the word "Bible"

Greetings.

This is my blog, so I am going to gripe about anything I want to gripe about. I have mentioned my book-in-progress (tentative title: Divine Misconceptions: An Orange Catholic Necronomicon of Religious Fallacies and Misinformation; it’s been shifting around) previously, and in doing research for it, I have become annoyed at the proliferation of works or collections of works labeled “Bible”. To Jews, the “Bible” is the Hebrew Bible, AKA Tanakh or (to Christians) the Old Testament. To Christians, the “Bible” is the Hebrew Bible plus the New Testament, and it may or may not include various books or parts of books. And then things get worse from there. The term has been applied to any scripture, so one hears of terms like “Muslim Bible” (for the Qur’an) and “Hindu Bible” (for Shastra). And then people started writing their own “Bibles”, some of which are not scripture. So thus we have things like A Buddhist Bible, Oahspe: A Kosmon Bible in the Words of Jehovih and his Angel Embassadors, The Woman’s Bible (which is a commentary and not a bible at all), The Jefferson Bible (a deist hack job on the Gospels), and multiple Wiccan and Satanist “Bibles”, including the incredibly named The Rastafarian Satanic Bible. My list is so far up to 25 “Bibles”—and that’s not including most of the different Christian Bibles or taking translations into consideration. (Yes, I know, Barry, if I include Joseph Smith, Jr.’s “Inspired Version” as a separate Bible, the King James Version arguably deserves to included in the list, too. And so do all the other versions considered canonical—the Greek Bible (Septuagint plus Greek New Testament), the Vulgate, the Peshitta, the Ethiopic Bible, etc.) Enough is enough. Time to do something about it, even if it only symbolic. I therefore, tongue-in-cheek, put my curse on anyone who henceforth writes a new “Bible” and condemn them to read the Wikipedia article on Nuwaubianism, which ranks among one of the weirdest religions ever conceived.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Invisibility Cloak Sees Light of Day”
  
• “Organic or Conventional? For Wheat, It Might Not Matter”

Today’s weird thing is “Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology”. (Yes, I know someone out there is saying, “Adoration to the Batman!”) Enjoy, Shabbath shalom, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

27 Tishri 5767 * 19 October 2006: "Sodium Party"

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Love Story (1991)”
  
• “Robot swarm works together to shift heavy objects”
  
• “Painting the town red, sort of...”
  
• “Listening to the sound of skin cancer”
  
• “'DNA computer' is unbeatable at tic-tac-toe”
  
• “When Cameramen Attack”
  
• “Rabbis tout Jewish option to courts”
  
• “Confident students do worse in math; bad news for U.S.”
  
• “Ethiopians fight Christian proselytizers”
  
• “Frugal Floridian leaves $35M to research”
  
• “Imagine Earth without people”
  
• “Recycling Could Replace Mining for U.S. Iron Supply”

Today’s weird thing is “Sodium Party”. Enjoy, and share the wierdness.

Aaron

26 Tishri 5767 * 18 October 2006: Aaron and Barry's Gregorian birthday/No Beard Day

Greetings.

In honor of my and Barry’s Gregorian birthday, today’s weird thing is Weird Al Yankovic’s song “Happy Birthday”. Enjoy.

Aaron

25 Tishri 5767 * 17 October 2006: Mission 10:17 UV Wave Event To Ocur Oct. 17th 2006 - Will You Be Ready?

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “We need the guts to say no to Rice”
  
• “Wronger Than Wrong”
  
• “Who's Next to Go Nuclear?”
  
• “Virtual economies attract real-world tax attention”
  
• “Urban planning with geopolitical implications”
  
• “Electrodes in brain help man talk again”
  
• “A Black And White Agenda Against Israel”
  
• “BBC: Something to Hide?”
  
• “U.S. PLANS SALE OF AIRCRAFT PARTS TO IRAN” (Huh?)
  
• “The Social Welfare State, beyond Ideology”
  
• “The Terror War Is An Honor War” (I have to get my hands on a copy of this book!)

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is Mission 10:17 UV Wave Event To Ocur Oct. 17th 2006 - Will You Be Ready?. This page is pure nonsense claiming that today we will be bathed in UV light from another universe, multiplying all our thoughts and emotions by 1,000,000. Anyone reading it will wonder what sort of drugs the creators of this page are taking.

Note: The Web-page design is flawed. You may have to copy the contents of the page, paste them into a word processing document, and change the text color in order to read it. We can only hope that the UV beam multiplies the Web design skills of this page’s creator 1,000,000 times.

Enjoy and share the weirdness.

Aaron

24 Tishri 5767 * 16 October 2006: Dictionary Day/Bosses' Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary, some of which Barry is responsible for:

• “British Airways worker sues over cross”
  
• “Hawking to star in Big Bang, the movie”
  
• “Right On! Restore Joseph's Tomb”
  
• “Darkness in Dhaka”
  
• “Somalia Islamic radicals hold execution”
  
• “Pope condemns use of religion for hate”
  
• “Airport drops program for Muslim cabbies”
  
• “Report: 38 Muslim scholars accept Pope's apology” (Translation: They decided it was about time Muslims stopped embarrassing Islam.)
  
• “Hiroshi Ishiguro builds his evil android twin: Geminoid HI-1” (Best article title of the day.)
  
• “Controversy-Plagued Element 118, the Heaviest Atom Yet, Finally Discovered”

Today’s weird thing is the Solar Death Ray. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

21 Tishri 5767 * 13 October 2006: Hosha`na' Rabba'/National Peanut Festival

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Holidays (1991)”
  
• “Oldest Embryo Fossils Provide Picture of Early Animal Life”
  
• “Rice: Palestinian struggle for state echoes battle for US independence” (Would someone please tell me why the Bush administration is considered pro-Israel? Rice has consistently bought into the Muslim propaganda.)
  
• “Best. Saturn. Picture. EVAH!”
  
• “Tiny Genome May Reflect Organelle in the Making”
  
• “Radioactive snails lead to Spain-U.S. atomic probe” (No, there are no gigantic gastropods threatening Toledo.)
  
• “Falling into the gap trap”
  
• “Darfur sanctions needed -report” (PREDICTION: The UN and superpowers will do nothing of any substance to stop the genocide ever, but will cry about the dead after the fact and claim that if they had only known the true extent of what was happening, they would have intervened.)

Today’s weird thing is the Bath University RepRap Project, whose goal is to make a machine that can make practically anything, including copies of itself—and make the whole thing open source. You’ll know they’ve succeeded when a friend gives you a universal constructor for free. Enjoy, Shabbath shalom, hagh sameah, and share the weirdness (or universal constructors).

Aaron

20 Tishri 5767 * 12 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/Farmer's Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Brazilian Nuts - And The Cartoon War Continues”
  
• “Taser can't stop runaway cow in S.C.” (Thank you, Mom, for pointing this incident out to me.)
  
• “Israel unopposed to building of 5th Temple Mount minaret” (What are they thinking allowing such a thing? It’s time to stop letting the Muslims do whatever they want up there and show them who’s the boss.)
  
• “U.S. weapons to be transferred to terrorists? Militant tells WND rifles for Palestinians might be used to attack Jews” (Somebody tell the Bush administration that Abbas is not our friend.)
  
• “Earth's Tilt Spawns Rise and Fall of Species”
  
• “Iranian TV: Disney's ‘Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest’ is a Pawn of the Zionist Lobby to Gain Cultural Control” (I cannot make up something this silly.)
  
• “Journalist faces sedition trial in Bangladesh for planning to visit Israel”
  
• “The Ahmadinejad Code”
  
• “Skepticism justified”
  
• “EU aid to PA expands to $816 million” (Apparently the EU needs a reminder as much as the Bush administration.)
  
• “The Region: Elementary, simply elementary”
  
• “Immoral Nuclear Relativism”
  
• “The Jewish Singles Scene” by Charleston’s own R. Ari Sytner (Submitted by Harold.)

Today’s weird thing is “Writerly memeage”. Death to the clichés! Enjoy, happy Sukkoth, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

19 Tishri 5767 * 11 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Uninformed Consent”
  
• ““Dialogue of Civilizations, or Clash of Cultures?””
  
• “Don't bring that booze into my taxi!” (You’d think Muslim taxi-drivers would have something better to complain about.)
  
• “Construction planned on the Temple Mount” (Build a synagogue on the Temple Mount! Show the Muslims that they do not own the place! ’Amen! ’Amen! Selah!)
  
• “'Bravo Papa!'”
  
• “Our World: History's dangerous repetition”
  
• “Negotiating in the bazaar”
  
• “Right of Reply: Why I oppose 'house arrest' for my husband”
  
• “Iraq's anti-Christian violence”
  
• “Release Pollard”
  
• “Liquid stops bleeding during surgery”

Today’s weird thing is Failure Magazine, the magazine for those who believe that winning isn’t everything. Enjoy, happy Sukkoth, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

18 Tishri 5767 * 10 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/National Angel Food Cake Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The World in Chaos (1992)”
  
• “Column One: As the storm of war approaches”
  
• “Sadat's death was a prelude”
  
• “Crime and punishment of Gush Katif”
  
• “Moscow posts two Chechen platoons in S. Lebanon, one headed by an ex-rebel commander, “to improve Russia’s image in the Arab world””
  
• “Teaching Teachers to Hate Israel”
  
• “PALESTINIAN USE ARMS TO OBTAIN SERVICES”
  
• “Rocket Men”
  
• “Gas induces 'suspended animation'”

Today’s weird thing is the “Office Fish Tank”. Enjoy, happy Sukkoth, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

17 Tishri 5767 * 9 October 2006: Hol hamMo`edh Sukkoth/National Poetry Day/Leif Erikson Day/Columbus Day/Canadian Thanksgiving Day

Greetings.

Happy Sukkoth!

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Feast of Tabernacles”
  
• “Tear the Roof Off the Sukkah”
  
• “Huts or tabernacles?”
  
• “The North Korean Bomb”
  
• “The Growing Misogyny in Our Time”
  
• “Be happy! The Breslav joy patrol” (Interesting idea.)
  
• “Video mocking prophet taken offline” (Apparently not everyone in Denmark is caving into Muslim temper tantrums.)
  
• “Bursting the Spherical Bubble: Universe Might Be Pill-Shaped”
  
• “Best. Mars. Picture. EVAH!”
  
• “Mongolia may regulate Genghis Khan name” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “Colas can cause bone loss in old women”

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron

---

There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT.

This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap...I'm off to the pub." The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest cartoon ever.

Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life.

14 Tishri 5767 * 6 October 2006: "Electronic Road Signs and Me"

Greetings.

Tonight starts Sukkoth. I pray that we don’t get rained on tonight. I discovered last night that both of my lawn lights were dead, so today I bought two solar tiki torches which look like they were inspired by Gilligan’s Island.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Land for Peace (1991)”
  
• “WHO calls for improved air quality, says pollution kills 2 million people each year”
  
• “Fury at 'moral grounds' cop out”
  
• “Robot whiskers sense shapes and textures”
  
• “Quantum information teleported from light to matter”
  
• “Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer's - U.S. study”
  
• “Straw sparks Muslim veil row”
  
• “Happy snaps from a virus-infested chip”
  
• “Chicken flap upsets kosher world”
  
• “Bolivia's Morales, Saddam on U.S. no-fly list”
  
• “16 Probable Planets Found in Milky Way”
  
• “"Monster" fossil found in Jurassic graveyard”

Today’s weird thing is “Electronic Road Signs and Me”. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and happy Sukkoth.

Aaron

13 Tishri 5767 * 5 October 2006: The Rat Fan Club

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “New Barbie doll to raise breast cancer awareness” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “Hizballah Shuts Reoccupied S. Lebanese Bases to Lebanese and UN forces”
  
• “Condi Rice meets with terrorists..and the Bush Administration proves, once again that they're hypocrites on terrorism and `Arab democracy'”
  
• “Abbas hints at elections, Hamas arming”
  
• “Too good to be true?”
  
• “Former IDF ground commander: IDF role in Gaza surrender reason for unpreparedness in Lebanon”
  
• “Musical robot composes, performs and teaches”
  
• “Talking nonsense about religion”
  
• “Spoof site bans Ali G from UK synagogues”
  
• “How Yitzchak Rabin was murdered - what the government doesn't want you to know” and “Historical context for last night's post on Rabin”
  
• “Man recites pi to 100,000 places”
  
• “Hero with a shofar”

Today’s weird thing is Rat Fan Club, which I think Barry submitted. Enjoy, and share the weirdness with the rat you love.

Aaron

12 Tishri 5767 * 4 September 2006: National Golf Day

Greetings.

Sukkoth is coming! For information on the holiday, see the Temple Institute article “The Festival of Sukkot (Tabernacles)”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Condi in the Promised Land”. NOTE: There is too much going on in Israel for me to report it all. See “Recommended Reading” in the sidebar.
  
• “Where we are now”
  
• “Palestinian Authority Promises (1997)”
  
• “Frist: Taliban Should Be in Afghan Gov't” (What the gezornenblat is he thinking? Doesn’t he know Islamists and democracy do not mix?)
  
• “An Opera In the Key Of Denial”
  
• “A revolution in Jewish genealogy”

Today’s weird thing is SCIgen - An Automatic CS [computer science] Paper Generator. WARNING: This is for amusement only. Do not use this to cheat in computer science class! Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

11 Tishri 5767 * 3 October 2006: Sukkah-Building Day/National Computing Day

Greetings.

I just got my sukkah up. I still have to put up the decorations and move in the furniture, but the basic job is done.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Six Feet Blunder”
  
• “Yom Kippur Confession”

Today’s weird thing is RABBI SIMCHA, Author of UP UP AND OY VEY: Jewish Themes in Superman, Superheroes & other Comics, by the Comic Book Rabbi!. (I cannot make something like this up!) Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

9 Tishri 5767 * 1 October 2006: World Vegetarian Day

Greetings.

Note: Starting at sundown is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. There are a number of behaviors that are to be avoided because they are prohibited on Yom Kippur (arguably weird since they largely ought to be obvious) but which the uneducated often fail in:

• Driving to synagogue. This is a Biblical prohibition, while praying at synagogue is Rabbinic in origin and not even clearly an obligation. In case of conflict between the two, Biblical prohibitions always override Rabbinic obligations, so if you cannot walk to synagogue without risk to your health, do yourself a favor and stay home; it is pretty clear from the Hebrew Bible that YHWH cares about you and wants you to keep His/Her basic commandments (including not performing any mela’khoth on Yom Kippur) and does not want you to violate them in order to perform ritual niceties. (If this is true for sacrifices, which are Biblical commandments, how much more so must it be true for public prayer, which is Rabbinic!)
  
• Wearing leather shoes. Yom Kippur is a day of extreme holiness, during which it is as if we are standing before YHWH Him/Herself. Since under conditions of extreme holiness (e.g., in the Temple) one is not permitted to wear leather shoes, wearing leather shoes is prohibited on Yom Kippur, so make sure you wear (leather-free) sneakers or canvas shoes or something along those lines.
  
• Wearing jewelry or perfume. Yom Kippur is a day to get closer to YHWH. While showing respect to the King of Kings of Kings makes wearing something formal a good idea, jewelry and perfume are luxury items and are mainly to impress other humans and are thus too ostentatious for the occasion. Yom Kippur is a day of judgement, and while YHWH is a forgiving god, going into court with luxury items is a good way to advertise having the wrong set of priorities, which argues against one’s deserving of forgiveness. Not to mention that some people are sensitive to perfume; it is a bad idea to be needlessly annoying others when asking for forgiveness.
  
• Conversation during services. Yom Kippur is a day dedicated to repentance and forgiveness, an opportunity given to us by YHWH to get closer to Him/Her. However, YHWH gave humans only one mouth each, so if you are talking to the person next to you, you cannot be asking YHWH for forgiveness at the same time and are thus missing the point of the holiday. Plus, talking during services is annoying to those who are trying to pray, also missing the point of the holiday. If you must talk at all during services in any way, shape, or form that is not prayer or necessary for proper prayer, please, let it be to ask someone for forgiveness for some wrong. Remember, the ideal state of things that we want to reach is that all humanity should become one big, happy family with whom YHWH is happy; we are not going to reach this state by talking about sports.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Brigitte Gabriel”
  
• “Atomic Physics Predicts Successful Store Location”
  
• “See no evil, hear no evil”
  
• “Egypt must stop the smuggling”
  
• “Palestinian Jewish girl taken from Tulkarm”
  
• “lackmailers made up Marie-Antoinette naughtiness: academic” (Submitted by Barry.)
  
• “'Do not forget us when we grow old'” (This is worthy of attention, no matter which country you live in. Thinking along these lines alone is a good reason for going to synagogue and participating. Senior citizens get very happy to see the religion being practiced by younger people, thus making them feel their efforts are not in vain and raising their quality of life, perhaps even giving them motivation to try to live longer.)
  
• “A Homemade Genocide” (Read this, please. This is important!)
  
• “US blocks further sanctions against PA” (Huh? What the gezornenblat is Rice thinking?)

Today’s weird thing is Lifeboat Foundation: Safeguarding Humanity. May it be YHWH’s will that this organization’s efforts turn out never to be needed. Enjoy, and have an easy fast.

Aaron

7 Tishri 5767 * 29 September 2006: Ten Days of Repentance

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Sheikh: All must convert to Islam” (And if you believe that’ll happen voluntarily, I’d like to sell you this bridge in New York City...)
  
• “The real reason that the IDF was unprepared”
  
• “Children Pay the Price for Lack of Safe Water and Sanitation”
  
• “China Attempted To Blind U.S. Satellites With Laser ”
  
• “Warning: Stone throwers will be shot on sight” (Anyone claiming throwing stones is harmless is invited to stand still while having cobblestones tossed at him/her.)
  
• “Lights out in Iceland for view of night sky” (This is cool! We ought to do this.)
  
• “Harry Reid on the Bill: “I strongly believe this legislation is unconstitutional””
  
• “Democracy in the Middle East (1992)”
  
• “Tokyo Rose Dies”

Today’s weird thing (submitted by Barry, who wants to save me a lot of effort) is “Death Star Firepower”. Yes, people wonder about the strangest things. Enjoy, Shabbath shalom, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

6 Tishri 5767 * 28 September 2006: Ten Days of Repentance

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Sense and Transcendence”
  
• “Vaccines, tobacco taxes "best buys" for health - WHO” (Law-makers, take note.)
  
• “Meet Henrietta, the 4-legged chicken”
  
• “Agency makes breaking up easier” (Somehow this doesn’t seem right.)
  
• “Protesting Palestinian policemen block Gaza City”
  
• “The collapse of Israel's legal system”
  
• “French Surgeons Claim Zero-Gravity Surgery a Success”
  
• “Squandering the country's credibility”
  
• “Journal: Agency blocked hurricane report” (Why am I imagining a prison just for bad politicians right about now?)
  
• “Another Tack: Friends in deed”

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is Globus Cassus, a long-term project to turn the Earth/Terra into a huge hollow sphere with lots of living space on the inside. I believe this is a bad idea for two major reasons: 1) Since Terra is the human home-world, in the long term it will inevitably be considered the holy place for our species. The Globus Cassus project, if implemented, would be so destructive to Terra as to qualify as sacrilege; one does not treat anything holy as mere building material. 2) I have trouble imagining that the project would work. I did not see anything on the site explaining why a hollow structure with Terra’s mass would not collapse due to gravity. Enjoy, or be puzzled, or something, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

5 Tishri 5767 * 27 September 2006: Ten Days of Repentance/World Tourism Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Demography's bottom line”
  
• “NASA Study Finds World Warmth Edging Ancient Levels”
  
• “Chinless ophthalmologist favors another war, plans to bring human shields to Golan Heights”
  
• “Treasures looted by Rome 'are back in the Holy Land'”. (Finding this article also led me to “THE DESTRUCTION OF THE TEMPLE MOUNT ANTIQUITIES” and “Another Outrageous Claim By Arafat: Ancient Jewish Temple Was In Nablus, Not Jerusalem”.)
  
• “Hizbullah inspires 63% of Palestinians” (Oops.)
  
• “New Yorkers 'stalk' victims in city-wide game”
  
• “Subway Sleuth Clears Dinosaur of Cannibalism”
  
• “Billionaire spends millions mapping mouse brains”
  
• “Our World: Bush's information offensive”
  
• “From corruption to cleanliness” (And some people naïvely think that tradition is not relevant to the modern world.)
  
• “Happy 5767- but how did we reach that number?”
  
• “New vaccine would target ear, sinus infections”
  
• “Clinton's Global Initiative” (For shame!)

Today’s weird thing, submitted by Barry, is “Trans Global Highway. A proposal by Frank Didik”. I am impressed with this ambitious idea. Though the planet clearly is not ready yet, at least for certain parts of this project, I eagerly await a future era sufficiently peaceful as to make national borders no more restrictive than state borders in the US today, when something as obviously useful as this becomes possible. Enjoy.

Aaron

4 Tishri 5767 * 26 September 2006: Ten Days of Repentance/European Day of Languages

Greetings.

First off, something of a new year’s resolution: One of the fallacies I recently wrote copy for in The Orange Catholic Necronomicon is “By ‘God’ everyone means the same deity.” Originally identified as YHWH (the God of Judaism, or at least the Greek equivalent Theos was in the Septuagint), the term “God” has gained the annoying feature that it can be used to refer the chief or unique deity of almost any religion. This makes it easy to gloss over very real differences between YHWH, the Christian Trinity (or just the First Person thereof), Allah, the Mormon Godhead (or just the First Person thereof), Ahura Mazda, Brahman, Vishnu, Shiva, Kali, the God of Aristotle, etc. The result makes it easy to misapply attributes (or lack thereof) of one deity to another or slip into unfounded syncretic notions. I am therefore endeavoring to avoid using “God” as a proper name in order to sidestep these problems. (YHWH, help me.)

Side note for the confused by my choice of a Divine name: “YHWH” is a transliteration of a Divine name whose pronunciation was kept secret sufficiently that it was lost, not an acronym. I am starting to use it in English due to it being the most familiar way to refer to the God of Judaism without resorting to mistransliterations. It should be pronounced “HashShem” rather than spelled.

Fake news: Popeye was overjoyed to learn that canned spinach does not entail risk of E. coli contamination.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Israel: Foreign reporters' vehicles may be used by terrorists”
  
• “Germ Free Wireless Laser Mouse” (This is a bad idea. It will only breed tougher microbes. Those of you refuse to believe in evolution, YHWH scoffs at your refusal and sends us microbes more resistant to our methods of killing them.)
  
• “Danger man”
  
• “Ichthyosaur Fossils Found Under Campus Ping-Pong Table”
  
• “Devil Wears Striped Pants”
  
• “Bin Laden Sick?”
  
• “Israel admitted to Interpol Europe”
  
• “Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University Trained Muslim Terrorists, Blames Jews For 9/11”
  
• “Egypt bans French, German papers for comments on Islam”
  
• “Yemen opposition rejects results of vote”
  
• “Court rules against Hamas lawmakers”

Today’s weird thing is an obituary (a real one, not one for the Pilsbury Dough Boy or Common Sense), “He looked at life from a different angle”. Enjoy.

Aaron

29 'Elul 5766 * 22 September 2006: "Tiny Souls"

Greetings.

Tonight starts Ro’sh hashShanah (the Jewish New Year, or one of them anyway; we have four per year). You still have some time to buy a new fruit, apples, and honey; and to bake a honey cake!

One of the more unusual practices of Ro’sh hashShanah is the consumption of symbolic foods, which are a sort of reified prayer based on puns. The one I recommend, since it’s based on a pun in English so people in the US can actually understand it, is that one consumes a salad of lettuce, half a raisin, and celery to communicate “let us have a raise in salary”.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “The Jewish New Year (1992)”
  
• “'There's a rat in the corner!'” (Interesting and perfectly valid spin of an old law included.)
  
• “Teeny Linux PCs proliferate”
  
• “Why give money to beggars on the street?”
  
• “Man's lost gnome attends Steelers game”
  
• “Googling for ATM Master Passwords”

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy, share the weirdness, and have a happy new year.

Aaron

---

Tiny Souls

God just loves hearing from them!

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have?
--Amy

Dear GOD.
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
--Larry

Dear GOD.
If you watch me in Church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
--Mickey

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
--Nan


Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
--Jane


Dear GOD,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison


Dear GOD,
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
--Lucy


Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
--Anita

Dear GOD,
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
--Norma


Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
--Jan


Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in Church. Is that okay?
--Neal


Dear GOD,
What does it mean, You are a Jealous GOD? I thought You had everything.
-- Jane


Dear GOD,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? because if You did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
--Darla


Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
--Joyce

Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend,
(But I am not going to tell You who I am.)

Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
--Tom L.

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
--Bruce


Dear GOD,
If we come back as something--Please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
--Denise.

Dear GOD,
If You give me a genie like Aladdin, I will give You anything You want, except my money or my chess set.
--Raphael


Dear GOD,
My brother is a rat !! You should give him a tail. Ha! Ha!
--Danny


Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
--Tom


Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
--Dean


Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
--Ruth M.


Dear GOD,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying.
--Elliott

Dear GOD,
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
--Rob

Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. He's just kidding, isn't he?
--Marsha

Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
-- Love Chris

Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
--Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD,
The bad people laughed at Noah- "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do.
--Eddie

Dear GOD,
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already.
--Charles.

Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.
--Eugene

28 'Elul 5766 * 21 September: International Banana Festival/Fall Equinox

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Olmert's popularity plunges”
  
• “Scientists shocked as Arctic polar route emerges”
  
• “When a fish becomes a canary”
  
• “This Modern World: Circular logic, featuring the rightwing nutcase”
  
• “USBCELL: Batteries That Recharge Through USB” (Apparently the people who think this is a great idea do not use their USB ports for, say, keyboards and mice.)
  
• “Disrespecting Islam”
  
• “Indie's Demonisation Campaign”
  
• “Detainee bill faces Frist's threat of filibuster”
  
• “British minister infuriates Muslims”
  
• “Court Orders Girl Released from Prison”
  
• “Palestinian Terrorists Again Using Children as Shields”
  
• “Terror suspect: Naked women worse than bombings” (Yes, every year millions of people die horrific, disgusting deaths due to seeing immodesty.)
  
• “When will we be ready to accept criticism?”
  
• “And the grad students most likely to cheat are...”

Today’s weird thing is “Tommy Westphall - A Multiverse Explored”. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

Oops!

I let Rupert Hippo post a message to the blog yesterday from my computer, and I forgot to make sure that I got logged into my own Blogger account before posting this morning. Sorry about any confusion that may result.

Aaron

27 'Elul 5766 * 20 September 2006

Greetings.

This is going to be “politically incorrect”, but that never stopped me before.

In response to the childish overreaction to comments from the Pope which were not meant to be offensive, I hereby register my very real offense at all the negative claims made about YHWH the God of Israel and about Jews by Muslims, starting with Muhammad in the Qur’an and by Muslims ever since then. I find extremely offensive the notion that YHWH would break His/Her agreements and abandon His/Her chosen people. I find it extremely offensive the notion that my people would deliberately corrupt the Torah and Psalms, especially when no copies of the Torah or Psalms show the least trace of prediction of Muhammad as the ultimate prophet or of the laws or history being the way Muhammad related them. I find extremely offensive all the claims of my people being vile in every imaginable manner, including the arch-insult of claiming cannibalism.

I therefore demand an apology in the most groveling and self-effacing manner from every single Muslim who dares believe such horrible lies, especially from all those who even think that violence is an appropriate response to mere insult. I demand that all the insufferable lies be purged from all Muslim literature and media, and I do not care that the Qur’an will be virtually shredded in the process; Muhammed (may his bones be ground up) should have known better than to insult YHWH.

I have no plans whatsoever for registering my protest violently. Furthermore, I do not suggest anyone else who is similarly offended register their protest violently. No bombing, torching, knifing, shooting, killing, or anything else of the sort. Period. And I really mean it. Though it is good to know that since Muslims have insulted non-Muslims far worse than non-Muslims have insulted Muslims, Muslims believe it completely justified that when Muslims attack non-Muslims, non-Muslims are entitled to do absolutely anything imaginable to the Muslims. I know that Muslims actively deny that, but that is more than fair, considering Muslim behavior.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Freedom of the Press, 'Palestinian' Style”
  
• “Fawlty Towers relaunched - without mad manager”
  
• “The Power of the Pen”
  
• “Know Your Enemy”
  
• “The Pope and the Muslims”
  
• “The denial industry ”
  
• “Enough Apologies”
  
• “Terror group threatens Gaza Christians”
  
• “Virgins of Paradise” (At least I now know where huris are supposed to come from.)
  
• “Poll: Americans don't want net neutrality (or maybe they don't know what it is)” (This is a demonstration of not how to take a poll.)
  
• “Rushdie, Hirsi Ali, the Pope -- Who's Next?”
  
• “Kofi's Trip”

Today’s weird thing is the Weird Fortune Cookie Collection. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

More weird things

Hello. This is Rupert Hippo. I just wanted to note a few articles that Bobby told me about:

1) “Photo in the News: Python Eats Pregnant Sheep”. Poor sheep. The python deserved getting indigestion.

2) “Elephant Crop Raids Foiled by Chili Peppers, Africa Project Finds”. This is unfair to elephants. I say all herbivores should band together and protest.

3) “Lions dying in Indian zoo after failed experiment”. We need fewer lions anyway.

Have a nice day, and feed the chili peppers to the crocodiles.

Rupert Hippo

26 'Elul 5766 * 19 September 2006: International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Arrr!

Relevant to today’s holiday: The Wikipedia article on International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Islamic intolerance” (Make the intolerant walk the plank!)
  
• “Jihad, the Lord's Supper, and eternal life”
  
• “Unclaimed baggage”
  
• “Gazans warn pope to accept Islam” (I cannot make something like this up.)
  
• “New group blog: Burning Issues”
  
• “Haniyeh's guards fire on protesters”
  
• “BORDER INSECURITY: 9th Circuit: Laptops May Be Subject to Customs Inspections After Overseas Trips” (Make the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals walk the plank!)
  
• “Survey: Rabbis wary of muckraking media”
  
• “Tensions still high over pope's remarks”
  
• ““Hotel Minibar” Keys Open Diebold Voting Machines” (Someone at Diebold be sipping the rum on the job, I think.)
  
• “'Ishmaelites have Mecca and Medina'”

Today’s weird thing be “An Engineering Masterpiece!”, which Josette sent me a copy and I subsequently found on-line. Enjoy, and stay away from me treasure. Arrr!

Cap’n Aaron

Worthy cause of the day: "The Senate must not pardon President Bush for breaking the law"

Greetings.

There is a new MoveOn.org petition on-line: “The Senate must not pardon President Bush for breaking the law”. Please sign and tell Congress that you do not want George W. Bush, repeat offender when it comes to violating the law, to be able to tap your telephone line without a warrant. He can only get away with what we let him to get away with. Thank you.

Aaron

25 'Elul 5766 * 18 September 2006: "Recycling Center"

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Was the 2004 Election Stolen?” (WARNING: You may become angry if you voted against Bush.)
  
• “Text of Pope's official apology statement” (This was an error on his part.)
  
• “Arab groups demand new apology” (They do not deserve one, and they should be told their outrage only justifies the quotation that sparked the outrage.)
  
• “Chief Rabbi unhappy with Pope's condemnation of Islam” (This is also an error. Islam brings criticism upon itself by being the religion of war-mongers and tyrants. The “struggle” is primarily religious in nature, no matter how desperately anyone wants to pretend it is about anything other than religion. It is time to stop coddling Muslims and instead demand that they act like mature adults.)
  
• “For sale for £1,000: gadget that means you'll never lose at roulette again”
  
• “Expert: No peace with Muslims, ever” (The sad thing is that this is obvious, but no one wants to face it.)
  
• “Microsoft Redefines "Genuine"”
  
• “J'lem Christians blame media spin” (Big error.)
  
• “LIES THEY LOVED AT
  HARVARD”
  
• “Darfur Dead Much Higher than Commonly Reported”

Today’s weird thing is “Recycling Center”. Enjoy, and share the weirdness.

Aaron

24 'Elul 5766 * 17 September 2006: Constitution Day

Greetings.

Ro’sh hashShanah (one of the Jewish new years) is going to be this Friday night until the following Sunday night. In the proper spirit of the season, I hereby unconditionally forgive those that have inadvertently transgressed against me this past year, and I humbly request the forgiveness of those I have inadvertently transgressed against. We are all fallible creatures, and there is no point in holding onto ill-feelings that in the end are pointless.

Relevant to today’s holiday: Wikipedia’s article on the United States Constitution. This is a topic which George W. Bush needs to review desperately.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Microscopic Art”
  
• “Senate rejects amendment for medical funding for 9/11 responders” (Bad Senate! No chocolate for you!)
  
• “Pope stops short of apology to Muslims” and “Churches attacked in Gaza, W. Bank” (Submitted by Barry. No chocolate for the Muslims either! Whether one agrees with the Pope’s quoting of a medieval text critical of Muhammad or not, attacking churches and threatening suicide bomber attacks on the Vatican is a grossly inappropriate response. The violence also does justice to the claim, from the text’s reports of the claims of a Byzantine emperor, that Muhammad was “evil and inhuman” and “his command to spread by the sword the faith.” This is also not the first time they have rioted based on criticism.)

Today’s weird thing is something from Emily’s collection. Enjoy, and share the forgiveness.

Aaron

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Notes For The Milkman

These are actual notes left for the Milkman

"Dear Milkman,
I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby, and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way 'round."

"When you leave my milk, knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

"Please knock. My TV's broken down, and I missed last night's SOPRANOS. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened?"

"My daughter says she wants a milkshake.
Do you do it before you deliver, or do I have to shake the bottle?"

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

"My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday... or is it today?"

"When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out, and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk."

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

22 'Elul 5766 * 15 September 2006: Felt Hat Day

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Bionic arm provides hope for amputees”
  
• “Cult enters bunkers though doomsday uneventful” (Yes, this irrational adherence to what was shown to be clearly false prophecy does get to make it into The Orange Catholic Necronomicon (or whatever I decide to call it).)
  
• “You Won’t USBelieve What Plugs into a Computer”
  
• “news fasting” (Interesting notion.)
  
• “NSA Bill Performs a Patriot Act” (What part of “unconstitutional” don’t these people in the Senate understand?)
  
• “Puffy 'Cork' Planet Would Float on Water ”
  
• “Q-Ray inventor gets more than wrist slap”
  
• “Customize the kernel panic screen” (Of all the things someone would try to hack...)
  
• “They Said it Couldn't be Done: Diebold Voting-Machine Hack Announced at SD Best Practices”
  
• “Mayor Signs Smoking Ban in Philadelphia” (Amen! Amen!)
  
• “Crafting guns into guitars” (This is a pretty strange way to beat a sword into a plowshare.)
  
• “Ethiopian aliya to stay at 300 a month”
  
• “E. coli cases traced to bagged spinach” (Now children will have the perfect excuse to tell their parents why they won’t eat their spinach.)

Today’s weird thing is “New Directions in Pooh Studies: Überlieferungs- und religionsgeschichtliche Studienzum Pu-Buch”. Enjoy, and Shabbath shalom.

Aaron

Worthy cause of the day: Message to President Bush and Secretary General Kofi Annan

Greetings.

Today’s worthy cause is a message to President Bush and Secretary General Kofi Annan about the horrific state of things in Darfur and that the US and the UN ought to do something about it. Please sign and tell the politicians to get off their butts and do something decent for once. Thank you.

Aaron

21 'Elul 5766 * 14 September 2006: "The Most Incredible Knife"

Greetings.

Today’s news and commentary:

• “Object Larger than Pluto Named Eris” (Perhaps people will start calling it “the Dwarf Planet Formerly Known as Xena”.)
  
• “Jimmy Carter's Peace Plan (1977)”
  
• “Essay: Make Israel's side heard”
  
• “NYPD Detective Breaks His Silence on Kahane and the WTC ”
  
• “Intelligent design creates crises of science and faith AS I SEE IT”
  
• “Enough of the U.N.”
  
• “Media Monkeys on our Backs”
  
• “ONE ARAB'S APOLOGY”
  
• “Don’t Be Too Quick to Thank the Assads!”
  
• “The Other September 11th”
  
• “The ISM-Terror Connection”
  
• “No longer the political fringe”

Today’s weird thing is “The Most Incredible Knife”. Enjoy.

Aaron

Update on updating

In case you’re wondering what is going on with the blog, I just recreated my CV and “About Aaron” pages, which mysteriously disappeared and needed updating anyway.

Aaron