Sunday, June 19, 2005

Weird thing of the day 19 June 2005/12 Siwan 5765 (Juneteenth/Father's Day)

Greetings.

Star Wars update: According to the article “Turn On, Tune In, Veg Out”, one of the major problems with Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith is that significant parts of the story (who is General Grievous, what’s wrong with Anakin Skywalker) have been left out. To get that missing information, one has to watch the animated series Clone Wars or read the corresponding novels. If a project to fix the problems in the prequel trilogy ever gets started, this is something that needs to be addressed.

Today’s weird thing is one of those stories that is floating around the Internet. Before I even finished reading it, I knew it deserved to be a weird thing of the day. It has been included below. Enjoy.

Aaron



Subject: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Remember the book -
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here is a true life
example from the University of Phoenix. An English Professor
assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that quickly
degraded - check it out...

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending
another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on, back and forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of
the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the
e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

----------------------------------------------------------------

THE STORY: (First paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if
she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
chamomile was out of the question.

--------------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17", he said into his
transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of
resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out
of his seat and across the cockpit.

----------------------------------------------------------(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space
Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.

--------------------------------------------------------- (Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted
wimpy peaceniks that pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them,
they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow
this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the
sky!"

----------------------------------------------------------(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate
adolescent.

---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of <EXPLETIVE DELETED> TEA??? Oh
no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
novels."

----------------------------------------------------------(Rebecca)

<EXPLETIVE DELETED>

---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary)

<EXPLETIVE DELETED>

-------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca)

<EXPLETIVE DELETED>

---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary)

<EXPLETIVE DELETED>

--------------------------------------------------------- (Rebecca)

<EXPLETIVE DELETED>

---------------------------------------------------------- (Gary)

<EXPLETIVE DELETED>

***************************************************************

(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A.
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