Religion news: “New Tech Protects Ancient Torahs”.
Weird sports news: “Semifinalists Named in Desert Robot Race”.
As mentioned yesterday, Apple Computer has decided to switch to Intel microprocessors. In derision of this bad decision, today’s weird things will downright poke fun at overly hot, faulty chips which happen to be backwards compatible with a 4-bit calculator. This is probably more functional than my initial thoughts on the subject, which involved sending an angry mob after Steve Jobs. 1) “Cyrix Hotplate Howto” tells you how to turn seven such CPUs into a functional hot-plate. 2) I have dug up a classic set of jokes about the most derided Intel chip, the Pentium, included below. Enjoy.
Aaron
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-
technical people.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a
research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker
they put on Pentiums?
A: The warning label.
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a
Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.
Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to
Subtract as Multiply
is to:
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's
floating point divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump
of Intel)
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium
and got 585.999983605.
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE
standards 754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If
you fly in aircraft designed using a Pentium, what is the
correct pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!
TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
-----------------------------------------
9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 It's Close Enough, We Say So
7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As
Well
4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating*
Point?
1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 The Errata Inside
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