Thursday, June 4, 2009

Beware of the man in the steel mask


Jewish date:  12 Siwan 5769.

Today’s holiday:  Thursday of the Ninth Week of Ordinary Time.

Today’s quasi-holidays:  Clean Air Day, International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression.

Worthy cause of the day:  “Support the U.S.'s Decision to Join the UN Human Rights Council” and “Put a People-Powered Internet First”.

Relevant to Divine Misconceptions:
  1. “Drought-hit India's frog wedding”:  I could have easily made this today’s weird thing, because I have no clue why a Hindu rain god would be appeased by a wedding for two frogs.  Then again, arguably what any god wants is somewhat arbitrary.  A real deity (one not of our universe) would have no physical need for anything we could provide.  As such, anything a real deity would find meritorious would have to fall into other categories, such as wisdom, inculcation of proper behavior, or beauty.  Intuition suggests that the last alternative, that the rain god is supposed to enjoy frogs getting married, is the most likely.  (Any Hindu or otherwise properly knowledgeable person reading this, please let me know if I am wrong.)
  2. Some countries never learn anything about freedom of religion:  “KYRGYZSTAN: Crackdown follows new Religion Law”.
  3. “US cancer teen 'to get treatment'”:  Just in case you did not hear about this on the news.  Daniel Hauser, the boy with Hodgkin’s lymphoma who turned down chemotherapy for religious reasons, and his mother are no longer on the run.  Daniel is now getting proper treatment.
Today’s news and commentary:
Today’s weird thing was provided for me by a masked man with a machine gun and included below.  Enjoy and share the weirdness.


From:  James McCullen XXIV, Military Arms Research Syndicate
To:  Everyone
To whom it may concern:
Once again my good name is being defamed, and I am getting pretty tired of it.  Yes, I know, every public figure must endure some kind of insults and derision, but this is really too much.  Instead of new action figures or a cartoon series, it’s an all-new movie, and I am once again being portrayed as the villain.
G. I. Joe:  The Rise of Cobra, what a tacky name.  That’s a mere step above that of another upcoming and probably equally insipid film, Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen.  They might as well chosen something more fitting such as Lapses of Sense and Things Blowing Up.  That’s the level this thing will be at if the trailer tells right.  Let me give you an overview based on the bloody thing.
Myself, played by Christopher Eccleston (brilliant in Doctor Who but doesn’t look or sound a thing like me) looks a bit peeved as I say “When I’m finished, this world will never forget,” and then things happen.  There are lapses of sense and things blowing up.  Some sort of fictitious acid eats away the whole Eiffel Tower.  Things blow up.  Sienna Miller, playing my wife Anastasia, keeps appearing as things blow up.  A bunch of people assemble to deal with the threat of Sienna Miller and things blowing up.  They have special “accelerator suits” which turn them into superheroes.  And so the battle begins to save something or other.
I can’t understate how much of a nutter whoever made this piece of tripe is.  Forget the acid and the accelerator suits.  The personal attacks are really too much.  I am an honest business men, nothing more, certainly not a terrorist.  And my wife, she does not go running about wearing a skin-tight leather jumpsuit in public.  Though not in the trailer, I don’t look forward to the inevitable shot of Christopher Eccleston in a steel mask.  These are things which are odd and improper and we simply do not go out wearing.  As for what we do in the privacy of our own home, that is no one else’s business.  The smears against us have been very trying on our family, and I do not care for what this will do to our grandchildren.  The past few decades have been very trying with children and grandchildren asking for everything from rides on giant larvae to help in creating a new headmaster in school from the DNA of much better tutors.  Enough is enough.
There is also the larger issue of the depiction of terrorism.  On neither side of the pond does anyone with the least involvement in politics seem to have the slightest understanding of terrorists. and whay they do what they do.  Here in Britain they seem happy to appease the unfriendlies and let them into our country.  America is no better.  You have the Republicans (Fascists) who are either simplistically for or against something, quite willing to bomb anyone who is currently against them and send the children of the poor in to die so long as they get rich off the whole affair.  They’re willing to overlook any atrocities so long as they are done by someone on their side.  And then you have the Democrats (Socialists), who would rather talk things over and assume everyone else is rational and wants peace no matter how obviously crazy they are.  They’re also willing to overlook any atrocities so long as they are done by someone on their side.  To the Socialists, the issue is always about economics or some kind of misunderstanding, while the Fascists always say the terrorists hate freedom and liberty (even through the Fascists themselves are great enemies of freedom of liberty).
Let us take the very real terrorist organization that is Cobra.  They are not “haters of freedom and liberty” any more than the Fascists.  Actually they very much enjoy it, at least so far as it serves them.  Like the Fascists, they completely oppose it for anyone who opposes them, of course.  Simply treating them as “bad guys” never deals with what about them makes them “bad.”  Yes, they kill people, but so the soldiers of the so-called free world.  Indeed, killing Cobra soldiers is often followed by others joining Cobra and going out to kill people themselves, “radicalizing” it’s called.  Nor do they really want peace or a particular piece of territory or anything like that.  Of course, they say they do, but once they get these things, are they ever satisfied?  Certainly not.  They walk away from treaties or simply ignore them and go right back to exactly what they were doing.
What no one seems to understand is that Cobra is not merely a terrorist organization, but a religious one as well.  They have definite beliefs about their place in the universe and how everyone else fits into it.  People outside of Cobra are not merely inferior, but subhuman, they same way European-Americans used to regard their African slaves.  By dominating these subhumans, the Cobraists do their religious duty and receive their eternal reward.  It is madness, of course, but more shocking still is the madness of those dealing with them.
Citing any religious reason for terrorism is politically incorrect.  The Fascists themselves make religious appeals and don’t want to portray religion as a bad thing.  The Socialists try to acknowledge and value everyone’s differences, holding them as all equally valid, no matter how hateful, offensive, or backwards they are.  And so no one will acknowledge what should be obvious, and no one does anything to address the real problem.  Indeed, they encourage those who have to deal with Cobra firsthand to try to compromise, make deals, or otherwise commit suicide.
No one with any sense tries to compromise with someone with no respect for you.  You don’t ask for a timeout from the madman with a butcher knife or make nice with your rapist.  All the free world has gained from this approach is making itself look weak and stupid, because it is weak and stupid.  Is it any wonder that Cobra keeps coming back, spilling blood, blowing things up, all the while blaming the free world for its actions?  You bloody imbeciles, by not dealing with Cobra as it really is, you‘re damn right you are responsible.
True enough, I am a weapons dealer, and I sell quite happily to Cobra.  I sell to you as well, anyone really.  As I’ve said, you’re all quite mad, so there really is no difference.  I can’t change you, and you’re all going to blow each other up in the end, so why fight it?  You want to make each other dead for stupid reasons, fine with me, it’s not like world gives one whit about anything they say is really important.  I’m just going to sit back, and if things get really bad, I got myself one nice cozy bunker to wait it out.  Enjoy.
Let’s see you address that in your stupid movie.
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