Tuesday, July 19, 2005

12 Tammuz 5765/19 July 2005: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince spoilers


Notable news:Today’s weird things are some spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince of doubtful accuracy which a Death Eater asked me to post:
  • The “half-blood” prince is so-called because he drinks so much that it seems half of his blood is really alcohol.
  • Voldemort was responsible for the Bush administration.
  • McGonnagal secretly pays Hermione to keep Harry from flunking out of Hogwarts.
  • Harry is shocked to hear Snape utter the immortal words “Harry, I am your father!”
  • Snape is caught crying like a baby in his office and admits to just wanting to be loved.
  • Hermione falls in love with Crabbe.
  • Voldemort is no longer a threat. Neville Longbottom stabs him in the back (literally) and seizes control of the Death Eaters and, by the end of the book, all of England.
  • Hagrid’s half-brother Grawpe defeats a huge, radioactive lizard, but he decides to relax afterwards by sitting down on Hogwarts and inadvertently collapses half of the building.
  • Owl nuts (a treat for Hedwig and Pigwidgeon) are made from people!

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