Monday, July 25, 2005

18 Tammuz 5765/25 July 2005: Sysadmin Day

Greetings.

Personal news: I have submitted the winning punch-line to another Sev Wide Web cartoon contest That puts my total up to three so far.

Weird health news: “Maggot Treatment Saves Mich. Woman's Foot” (I cannot make this up!)

In honor of Sysadmin Day, today’s weird thing is an item from Emily’s collection, included below. Enjoy.

Aaron



Computer One Line Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DIVORCE.BAT found... deleting C:

Hard Disk space: the final frontier!

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Hold a hard drive to your ear -- listen to the C:

I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.

I am logged in, therefore I am.

I are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.

I know I'm supposed to back up my files, but I still haven't found reverse on my PC.

I was going to switch her to DOS, but she had a gun

I'll give up my Windows 3.1 when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

If you read in the bathroom, is that multitasking?

In my next life I'm going to have more memory installed

Intel - still number 0.999873464508.

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups.

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MicroSloth: "Bringing you ten-year-old technology, tomorrow, maybe."

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My Go this amn keyboar oesn't have any 's.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[} _+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the
programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

The name is Baud... James Baud
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