Wednesday, July 20, 2005

13 Tammuz 5765/20 July 2005: Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics

Greetings.

Worthy cause of the day: There’s a new MoveOn.org petition on-line. Please sign and show the Senate that George W. Bush’s nominee to the Supreme Court, John Roberts, is not acceptable to the American people and thus must be opposed.

Due to inspiration from something I was watching last night, today’s weird thing is Intuitor Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics. Even if you don’t understand all the physics jargon, much of the articles are comprehensible to mere mortals. This includes reviews to movies with various levels of physics quality.

Scene I just wrote inspired by one of the reviews:

GREEN GOBLIN: So, Dr. Octopus—

DR. OCTOPUS: That’s Dr. Otto Octavius to you. We’re not on a nickname basis.

GREEN GOBLIN: So Dr. Octavius, what makes you think you can take down the Hulk?

DR. OCTOPUS: When Dr. Banner changes into the Incredible Hulk, he gets bigger. That means he gets less dense or has to acquire more mass. The former is unlikely, since he gets stronger. Since we don’t see him gulping dirt or rocks whenever he starts turning green, I can only think of one possibility where the extra mass comes from.

GREEN GOBLIN: What’s that?

DR. OCTOPUS: Watch this.

Dr. Octopus produces a pincushion from his pocket and grabs a pin with one of his artificial arms. He then approaches the Hulk, who is busy smashing a Windows machine.

HULK: MACHINE GIVE HULK BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! NOW MACHINE DIE!

DR. OCTOPUS: Hey, Hulk.

HULK: What?

Dr. Octopus sticks the pin into the Hulk. A popping noise is heard, and the Hulk, growing smaller, is blown all over the place, screaming.

GREEN GOBLIN: Uh, yeah, I knew that’s how he did it all along.

DR. OCTOPUS: Uh-huh.


Enjoy.

Aaron
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